kobebryant Page 15 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Funniest Thing In Sports: Kobe Bryant Chucking At Historic Levels
Kobe Bryant shot a combined 16-for-48 in the two ass-kickings the Lakers absorbed over the weekend. Even the bad guys from Rambo III are all, "Jesus, man, that's a lotta terrible shooting." The friggin' Ethyl Higby Charm School doesn't have that many misses....
Kobe And The Lakers Do Dumb Shit; Anthony Davis Dismisses Them
The ridiculous, bad-basketball-playin'-ass Lakers lost again last night, 109-102 in New Orleans, to fall to 1-7. Basically, they performed how you might expect them to on the second night of a road back-to-back: they won the first quarter with some fluky hot shooting, then sagged badly in the middl...
All Hail Kobe Bryant And The Lakers, Lords Of Madness
First things first: You don't get to miss more shots than anybody else in NBA history by being bad at basketball. That record would be Larry Hughes's if he didn't, y'know, suck at everything, and in this sense, the all-time missed-shots record is a perverse monument to Kobe Bryant's greatness. He ...
Kobe Bryant Breaks All-Time NBA Record For Missed Shots
Kobe Bryant is officially the all-time greatest player in NBA history at failing to make a basket. Soak in this historic moment! 13,418 is a large number....
The Lakers Won, Can't Win
The hilarious Lakers finally got a win last night, a 107-92 clobbering of the Hornets in Los Angeles. Turns out, all it took to get the Lakers off the hook was nearly an entire week off to prepare to host one of the most dysfunctional offensive teams in basketball. Should be a pretty repeatable fo...
The Lakers Suck So Goddamn Bad And I Love It And So Should You
The Lakers lost to the fun and exciting Phoenix Suns last night, 112-106, in Los Angeles. They're now 0-5 for the first time since 1957, when they were the Minneapolis Lakers and Kobe Bryant was only like 15 years old....
The Lakers Are Still Jump-Kicking Themselves In The Face
A funny thing happened on Halloween: Perhaps inspired by the children of America— who'd spent the evening taking to the streets in elaborate costumes, pretending to be ghosts and ghouls and ninja turtles rather than little kids—the Lakers decided to dress up as a team that can wring success out of t...
We Have An Actual Kobe Bryant Highlight To Show You
Kobe went as M.J. for Halloween....
Kobe To Dwight Howard: "Soft Motherfucker, Bitch-Ass Nigga"
It was plainly clear that Kobe Bryant called Dwight Howard "soft" while shit-talking his former teammate on opening night, but now, thanks to an intrepid Instagram user who was sitting courtside at the game, we know that Kobe also called Dwight a "bitch-ass nigga."...
Come, Let Us Have Another Laugh At The Disastrous Lakers
So the Lakers rolled out their "actually, bad basketball is cool and good" strategy again last night in Phoenix; accordingly, they got their wheels knocked off, losing 119-99 in a game that somehow makes even that score seem deceptively close....
Oh Man, The Lakers Are In Big, Big Trouble
Yep, the Lakers really are going with this whole "play terrible basketball on purpose" thing. Last night against the Rockets, they attempted 10 three-pointers as a team—two more than Houston's Trevor Ariza fired up by himself—and sent the Rockets to the free-throw line 50 times. They did both of t...
Kobe And Dwight Howard Talk Shit To Each Other, Get Double Technicals
Dwight Howard left the Lakers a season ago, but because of Kobe Bryant's achilles injury, the two haven't played against each other since their ill-fated partnership blew up in everybody's face. If you thought things between the two were all good, well, you don't know Kobe Bryant very well....
Jeanie Buss Goes In On "Losers" Who Don't Want To Play With Kobe
Things aren't going so great for the Los Angeles Lakers right now. Their head coach is dead set on implementing a caveman brand of basketball that may very well turn the Lakers into the worst team in the NBA, and a recent story by ESPN's Henry Abbott painted Kobe Bryant as a self-sabotaging sociopat...
Skip Bayless Claims Rape Charges Helped Kobe Bryant Sell Sneakers
On Monday, First Take aired, again, which means that these United States of America were again blessed as wonder twins Stephen A. Smith and Skip Bayless shouted about random things they don't know much about. The topic yesterday: how catching a rape charge can boost shoe sales....
Anonymous NBA Agents: Nobody Wants To Play With Kobe Bryant
ESPN has dropped a feature on Kobe Bryant in the latest issue of ESPN: The Magazine, and it's a doozy. The title "Is Kobe Bryant the reason for the Los Angeles Lakers' downfall?" seems misleadingly non-committal, as author Henry Abbott clearly believes that the answer is an unequivocal "yes." The ...
Alec Burks Crosses Over Kobe Bryant, Likely Earns Kobe's Eternal Ire
Jazz guard Alec Burks achieved a neat little highlight for himself when he crossed over Kobe Bryant, and drove for the layup with the foul. At least Kobe's embarassing blooper in the twilight of his career was a little more graceful than Paul Pierce's....
The Lakers Will Play Terrible Basketball, On Purpose
Byron Scott gave an interview last week following the Lakers' first preseason game; it went largely ignored, because preseason is stupid and no one cares. But with the Lakers looking like one of the more conspicuous disasters going so far—without any plans of tanking, bear in mind—let's take a quick...
This Is The Only Kobe Bryant Quote
Sports Illustrated's Kobe Bryant story was great; any time Bryant gets going, he's eminently quotable. (Highlights here.) Now Chris Ballard shares some outtakes from the week he spent shadowing Bryant. It includes this anecdote:...
Kobe Bryant Is A Robot Sage Hellbent On Winning Everything
Chris Ballard went long on Kobe Bryant for Sports Illustrated and it's an illuminating look into the extent of Kobe's mania for winning. He values winning so much more than everything else, even being liked by his own teammates, that when asked to describe him in three words Steve Nash chose "mother...