l Page 7712 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Those Idle Browns
• Thanks to tiebreakers, Cleveland has nothing to do with whether or not they make the playoffs. [Vegas Watch] • How's that Hall of Fame voting going to turn out? [Meadow Party] • Baseball players' best Christmas cards. [Babes Love Baseball] • Kobe is actually having fun ... and he's not doing it in...

Year In Review: October
You might remember, toward the end of last year, when we reviewed each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We called it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We continue today with October. We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature some...


Coach Jim Rackley Has No Off Switch
Somewhere, Erin Andrews, Bonnie Bernstein and Suzy Kolber are watching this, and they're remembering the early days, back before their cushy current gigs, back when they had to interview people who weren't used to being on television and, in fact, thought they were still in the locker room. You had ...

Kyle Orton Takes Step Toward REAL Hall Of Fame
There is some sort of perception that, somehow, we're making fun of Bears quarterback Kyle Orton for his induction in our Hall of Fame. Nothing could be further from the truth. We cheer for Orton full-heartedly and with complete sincerity; it's easy to root for a guy who's obviously having that muc...

Today's Episode: Isiah Has An Epiphany
Skeets is off celebrating Christmas Eve the way that all Canadians do; pantsless and migrating with a herd of elk. So your NBA Closer today is being written by United States Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Alphonso Jackson. Do enjoy....

Legace Takes His Puck And Goes Home
For the rest of 2007, the NHL Closer will be written by the fine folks at Melt Your Face Off. Enjoy....

Belichick Bores You Simply Because He Can
Tiny tidbits and news niblets from Week 16 of the NFL ......

About Last Night
What you missed while coughing up tinsel ... • NFL: Every time a bell rings, a Washington Redskins player gets his wings. • College football: Rock, a hula-baby, rock ... East Carolina 41, Boise State 38 • NHL: Boss Hossa ... Thrashers 3, Blues 2....

Patriots First Round Draft Pick Gets Progressively Worse
Because that's pretty much all the 49ers have left to stay motivated at this point. Their record helps that pick they famously gave to New England continue to plummet. A silly little upset of Tampa Bay puts them at 5-10 and currently the Patriots pick 8th....


To Watch Tonight
What to watch while perusing fake Craigslist ads... • 8:00 p.m. — Hawaii Bowl: East Carolina vs. Boise State. It's so inconvenient to have to bring your own blue paint on road trips, but it's worth it. [ESPN] • 8:15 p.m. — NFL: Redskins at Vikings. Or, a rematch of the colonization of Newfoundland. ...

He Who Wears This Jersey Shall Be Filled With Sudden Rage
By now it's probably too late to order any gifts online. That's why in case I forgot anybody, I bought The Simpsons Movie DVD and kept it unwrapped. "Oh, I knew you wanted this so badly, I forewent wrapping it. That's how much I care!" But if that special someone is a baseball fan, maybe they can wa...


When Canadians Visit Phoenix
• Roberto Luongo dances rather well to Elton John songs. [Orland Kurtenblog] • Pete Carroll fears nothing. Not even you. [Super Punch] • Perhaps Mike Lupica is the real host of "Sports Reporters." [The Big Lead] • UConn basketball, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she used to be, ain't what she...

Bears Upset Packers, Their Quarterback Sort Of Helped
A cursory look at the 1 o'clock games led one to make a face comparable to sniffing a plate of expired deli meat. But sometimes expired meat is salvageable, which led to the creation of the hot dog. Similarly, this bundle of games gave us a couple of surprises....

It's December 23. Nobody's reading this. So let's take this time to congratulate Canadian curler Kevin Martin and his team on winning The National curling tournament this afternoon, giving him five straight curling Grand Slam titles. See what happens the weekend before Christmas? Curling updates fin...

West Virginians Should Get Out Of The Conspiracy Theory Business
There's been a wave of sympathy for Michigan in the past year, and I for one hoped they were going to find a good solid coach from the lower ranks to bring up, like Ohio State did with Jim Tressel. That didn't happen, and my sympathy swung to West Virginia for losing their fabled coach Rich Rodrigue...

Kevin Everett Picked The Wrong Game To Attend
For as much as he's been through this year, injured Bills tight end Kevin Everett has to be all confused why the Giants aren't exactly collapsing according to plan this late in the season....

Speeding Tennis Balls To The Nads Are Painful, Scientists Confirm
The now-swollen man named Jason Fields did this in the name of science, which was curious how the heart rate changes while anticipating a frozen rope to the sack. Suffice to say, we need to bump Fields to the absolute top of the national list of people who are in desperate need of being donated a bl...