l Page 7800 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jason Elam Will Steal Your Children In Broad Daylight
Comparisons of the NFL's opening weekend to March Madness have never rang truer. If you caught the end of the Broncos and Bills, you know exactly what we mean....
Herm Edwards, 0-1, The Way God Intended
I think we were pretty sure that Cleveland wouldn't rock this year, and New England smashing the Jets this year shouldn't really surprise anybody. And even Minnesota blowing out a Harrington-led Falcon team shouldn't raise too many eyebrows... ...
Four o'clock games at a glance...
What in the blue hell is up with this Taco Bell commercial where cops are doling out high-fives while strings of cheese hanging out of their mouths? Are we supposed to find that appetizing?...
Oh, Yeah, Baby, Hit That Sled! Oh, Oooohhh!
As a tight end, Kellen Winslow has the daunting task of learning both blocking and protection schemes with the offensive line, but also the reads and routes of the wide receivers. Miami Sports Blog shows us Winslow mastering the former component of his craft, in the presence of a, um, big fan. On th...
Some First Half Updates...Quickly
Since all of us PC folk are now watching these games via streaming video, these updates are just for you Mac people. But, hey, Jeff Goldblum still thinks, uh, that you're, ah, a great guy-ee!...
NFL Pants Party: Super Bowl XLII
We're five long months away from the Super Bowl, and a lot can happen each week to change the complexion of the league. Still, it's worth trying to pick your Super Bowl teams now, because if your picks do turn out to be correct, you can be that one fuckface that runs around bragging about how you pr...
...AND WE ARE UNDERWAY!
By the way, this is exactly what the games will look like on my TV, but I don't give a shit. Football is finally back! We'll be in and out, and we'll have updates as we go. Enjoy the games, everyone, and check back when the assgrooves in your respective pieces of furniture need a quick breather....
Your One O'Clock Games...Quickly
Some of you have DirecTV. Most of you don't. In that case, here are some of the sweet games the the NFL has deemed your area unworthy to watch....
College GameDay: An Appreciation
Drew wrote a thoughtful piece about ESPN's traveling band of college football analysts that we probably should have run yesterday. I still think it's semi-pertinent since these guys are the exact opposite of the professional counterparts that we'll be tolerating today, who seem to excel at nothing e...
For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
Last year, MJD provided you with regional coverage maps for the NFL, and we're happy to have located them once again. Click on the links to find the game in your area, plus the assigned announcing team:...
Legislating From The Luxury Box
Before the 1978 season, the NFL's owners passed a shit-ton of rules that were designed to scale back the role of physical contact in the game. Under the new rules packages, wide receivers could not be bumped more than five yards from the line of scrimmage. Offensive lineman were allowed to use your...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while taking your new girlfriend to your mother's birthday party... • CFB: LSU doesn't seem to care that Virginia Tech's football team is trying to overcome a campus tragedy. The Tigers romped as predicted (yeah I lost the Parlay o' the Week but I picked up the spare when I subbed in...
We're Just Getting Started, If By "Started," You Mean "Halfway Done"
It was TheStarterWife who said things were totally different on this side of the wall, and all I can add to that is "ain't that the fucking truth." But we've learned a few things that we'll be sure to apply toward tomorrow's festivities. First of all, we realize that Nibbles really is a delicate fl...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you try and get the poop stains out of your towel:...
With Your Boys, Talkin' S***. But You're Going Home Alone, Aren't'cha?
If there's a theme to Saturday nights, it's saying and doing things you regret on Sunday. Therefore, here follows a round-up of the various mealy-mouthed guarantees and guarded boasting that amounts to this week's "bulletin board material." You said you're confident in your team's chances of victory...
Hugh II: The Nedessey Continues... Part 3
Wow. They're really piling on Michigan today. They're talking about App State every chance they get, not failing to mention that 3 game losing streak, and even breaking out footage of the Kordell Stewart play. Are they going to dig up Bo and Gerald Ford and parade their dead bodies on ABC too just t...
A Quick Thought On Fantasy Football (Take 2)
I am in four fantasy leagues this year. Last year I was in eight. I'm also the proud owner of two keeper leagues, in both of which I am commissioner. When someone asked me why I would willingly serve as such a glutton for punishment, I replied simply, "I would rather be the guy in charge."...
A Quick Thought On Fantasy Football
I am in four fantasy leagues this year. Last year I was in eight. I'm also the proud owner of two keeper leagues, in both of which I am commissioner. When someone asked me why I would willingly serve as such a glutton for punishment, I replied simply, "I would rather be the guy in charge."...
May Pete Rose Live Long And Die Out
Perhaps you've heard of the new book The World Without Us, Alan Weisman's blow-by-blow account of what would happen on Earth if all human beings suddenly disappeared. But if you think this book is just some environmentalist's wet dream, you're wrong. Dead wrong. People, I give you The Voluntary Huma...
Hugh II: The Nedessey Continues... Part 2
Nothing sucks more than getting kicked out of the bellagio after staying up all night to wait for OSU to kick off, passing out because nowhere carries the big ten network in Vegas, then waking up at halftime to see the buckeyes are only up 3-2...and you took the over at 29 points. -CalCarbon...