l Page 7970 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. NBA with Chad Ford: Was there a single freakin' thing that actually stayed in Vegas? • 1 p.m. Page 2 columnist D.J. Gallo: We're not saying it's looking bleak over at Page 2, but didn't Mr. Lumbergh just take your red stapler? • ...

The Last Night Of The Chief
Last night, as tons of teary-eyed Central Illinoisians will tell you this morning, was the final dance of Chief Illiniwek, the skipping, painted white-guy-dressed-up-as-Injun who has "performed" at halftime of our alma mater's sporting events for the last 80 years or so. Like most alums — or at leas...

Pacman Jones Doesn't Like To Make It Rain
Time for your Pacman Jones update ... and it's a fun one. Everybody's favorite bouncer biter is in even more trouble today, as the search warrant for him has been made public. All kinds of doozies in here:...

That's How You Celebrate A Goal
Another reason to tentatively, cautiously warm up to soccer: When one of its players beats up a teammate with a golf club for refusing to join him in karaoke, he's not beneath celebrating a goal the next week by swinging an air golf club feverishly. This is like, say, Pacman Jones celebrating a touc...

NBA Roundup: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
Notes on Wednesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

About Last Night ...
What you missed as Socrates scores possibly the most important goal of his career ... • NBA: Jacked up ... Phil Jackson's first six-game losing streak, as Jarrett Jack leads Portland over LA 112-108. • College basketball: UConn work it out, UConn work it ooouuutttt ... Calhoun's milestone win import...

Some Las Vegas Celebrity Waldo
So here's a fun end-of-day game from The 700 Level: See how many "celebrities" you can spot in the stands of the NBA All-Star Game over the weekend. No bonus points, sadly, for recently conceived fetuses, just the night before, being mainlined Red Bull through umbilical cords....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while pondering the top 10 movie guns of all time ... • College men's basketball: Boston College at Virginia Tech [ESPN]; Texas A&M at Oklahoma State [ESPN]; St. John's at Louisville. You study your huge NCAA Tournament wall bracket with the intensity of Patton in Sicily. [ESPN2] • Cyc...

Ghosts Closing In On Pacman Jones
So our pal Pacman Jones is still having some trouble with that whole strip club shooting in Las Vegas over the weekend. In fact, he appears to be smack in the middle of everything....

Leftovers: Yankees Drama
• A one-act play looking at Jeter and A-Rod. [New York Magazine] • "NASCAR Sucks. Go Home." [Orlando Sentinel] • Let the Bonds stories begin! [San Francisco Chronicle] • Fun with press releases! [Randball] • Now this is a Rick Ankiel scenario we can get behind. [Viva El Birdos]...

The Tangled Web Of NFL Coaches
The fine folks at Yellow Chair Sports, amused by the Norv Turner retreads of the world, have put together this handy flowchart of NFL coaching changes. It's awfully inventive — you probably need to see the large version to truly get it all — and features both an extended middle finger and Wayne Font...

Jim Sorgi Is Willing To Scrounge For Endorsement Opportunities
Indianapolis Colts backup quarterback Jim Sorgi — he of the crushed larynx and perpetual clipboard — apparently has a stiled, if bemused, sense of himself: He is actually applying to be the Maytag repairman spokesperson....

Brent Musburger Will Kick Your Ass
A reader diddling around on the Toys R' Us Web site — don't ask — came across this lovely knick-knack: It's the official Brent Musburger action figure. Released in connection with Rocky II, this Brent is pumped up and ready to kick ass and drink some goddamn beer....

Moon Over Mormon Country
Here's the word from the official USC ice hockey site, which was on the scene as the Trojans ended their season with a 6-4 loss in the ACHA playoffs to BYU this past weekend:...

Blogdome: As If It Weren't Bad Enough To Be A Pirates Fan
• The Pirates brought in Dick Vitale as a motivational speaker. Yikes. [Mondesi's House] • What some Denver sports folks will be giving up for Lent. [Slushygutter] • How bad is the Browns' luck? They've got a 40 percent chance at winning their NFL Draft coin flip. [Cursed Cleveland] • Now this is a ...

Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays
EM>You might remember, from back at the beginning of the NFL season, when we previewed each team by having a writer we liked write about their favorite team....

Bearcats Football Trying Out The Eight-Man Weave
You know, when you're talking group sex, you're obviously talking about Ohio. This is something the Cincinnati Bearcats like to call "an eight-on-one drill."...

The Return Of El Guapo
The Nashua Pride minor league baseball team is renowned, like any great minor league team, for its desperate promotions to bring people to the ballpark. (Last year they signed Oil Can Boyd ... well, before he was hit with stalking charges.) Well, this year, they've come up with the best promotion ye...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. Football draft expert Mel Kiper: They may have removed them on the site, but may I still make the little quote marks with my fingers when I say the word "expert" in that sentence? • 3 p.m. College football with Beano Cook: Can y...

Britney Spears And Minor League Hockey; A Match Made In Heaven
We really don't know how to say this so we're just going to say it: The Syracuse Crunch of the American Hockey League is offering any woman who shaves her head a free ticket to their game on Saturday against the Manitoba Moose. (Terrorists throw down their weapons in disgust, give up)....