l Page 8084 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
New Defense Secretary A Closet Online Football Chatterer
Robert Gates, as those of you who lower yourselves to pay attention to the world outside of sports might know, was confirmed by the U.S. Senate as the new Secretary of Defense, replacing Donald Rumsfeld, the Marty Mornhinweg of foreign policy. Gates was most recently president of Texas A&M Universit...
Careful: That Punter Will Go For The Nuts
It has been a felonious year for backup punters. There was, of course, the famous leg-stabbing punter of Northern Colorado, and now we have Kyle Keown, punter for Vanderbilt who got himself in all kinds of trouble last week....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for Friday's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 2 p.m. MLB meetings with Gary Gillette: Did it really take a "meeting" to determine that no one else was interested in Barry Bonds? • 3 p.m. NHL with Barry Melrose: Where the hell is the Zamboni? Someone check Burger King. • 4 p.m. ES...
Barbaro Denounces Your New Testament
"And this shall be a sign unto you; you shall find the horse wrapped in a blanket and standing in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward Barbaro.' And that's wha...
Bonds Back In Only Place That Truly Loves Him
Well, now we can breathe easy over here; Barry Bonds won't be going to St. Louis. (And now that he's not, we'd like to note that we would have never sold out our principles to root for him. Nope! No way! Obviously! Of course not!)...
NBA Roundup: New Ball Apparently Works Just Fine
Notes on Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
It's Sleepy Football Night In America
We try to recap each weeknight game the morning after around here, because weekday games are rare and often are the talk of the "water cooler" around "the office" with one's "co-workers." Unfortunately, last night's Steelers-Browns tilt was, well, a completely shellacking that was over early and in ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while applying cologne to your ... well, just see No. 10 ... • NFL: Willie Parker sets Steelers rushing mark in win over Browns in the least-TiVoed game of the season so far. • NBA: Pow! Pistons surprise Mavericks in Dallas. • NHL: Shootout! Henrik Lundqvist, you're our hero....
Well, It's Not That Big A Deal If You Miss This One
This, it's safe to say, is not one of those night when we're banging our head against the wall for not having the NFL Network. (We're far more concerned about missing the Rutgers bowl game.) The Steelers and the Browns, two teams long since removed from the playoff picture, go head to head tonight, ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Wile E. Coyote just gives up and spends the day in bed ... • College football: College Football Awards Show, at Orlando. Unless this is hosted by Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, we are unlikely to tune in. [ESPN] • College men's basketball: Alabama at Notre Dame. Feel The Catholicism....
Why You Shouldn't Buy This Ali Rap Nonsense
The big event on ESPN this weekend is "Ali Rap," a documentary hosted by Chuck D that posits the theory that Muhammad Ali was the originator of what we think of today as "hip-hop." (That's the other half of the music they did on the "Judgment Night" soundtrack, if you're confused, rockers.) It's a f...
Leftovers: Tom Brady Has Had Enough Of Your "Yahoo"
• Tom Brady is suing Yahoo's ass. [The Smoking Gun] • Why do we think we'll hear less about this we did about Barbaro? The horses are finally uniting against us! [ESPN] • This porn star? She loves her some Patriots. [YouTube] • Larry Bird ... 50 years old. [NBA.com]...
An Astounding Lack Of Field Vision
This handsome gentleman is Darius Johnson, a high school running back in Kansas. This season, he ran for more than 1,000 yards and is beloved by his teammates. He has had a difficult life, though; he has sickle cell anemia, his mother died of cancer when he was 10 and, oh yeah ... he's legally blind...
Insert "They Couldn't Use Their Hands" Joke Here
Goddammit, why can't American athletes be as interesting and publicly debaucherous as British athletes? We mean, seriously....
Surely, Spike Could Use This Guy For Something, Right?
In another chapter of our ongoing series Why Google Is Full Of Geniuses, we present this "Week 11 roundup" from the NFL, featuring a 30-year-old man who appears to, uh, really like Kentucky basketball. He has a unique cadence for broadcasting, we think; there's a future there. Hey, Van Pelt: You rea...
Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Carl Monday Vs. Stephen A. Smith
All right: Time for the next step in the Elite Eight. This thing is gonna fly by now, by the way; the final two Elite Eight matchups will be next week, and then it's Final Four time, and then, jeez, then this whole virtual construction is completed. To remind you, here's the bracket (Berman's got a ...
Anonymous Web People Claim There's A Gay Net
Today in Unsubstantiated Web Rumors That We Merely Link To Rather Than Report Ourselves In Order To Give Us Some Sort Of Half-Assed Way Out In Case The Story Turns Out To Be Complete Bullshit, Which Seems More Than A Little Likely, But Hey It's Still Fun And Will Make For Some Pretty Amusing Comment...
Blogdome: One Tired Cubs GM
• The Cubs actually spending money made our heart skip a beat too. [Metsblog] • Brad Daugherty, still not getting along with the Cavs. [Erik Cassano's Weblog] • Did Lance Armstrong's cancer make him a better cyclist? [Steroid Nation] • Big money for the guys at Armchair GM. [TrendDiary] • The Sonics...
Rory Continues To Sneak Up NHL All-Star Ballots
So you know how the big NHL Web movement right now is to vote Canucks defenseman Rory Fitpatrick into the All-Star Game as a write-in candidate? Well, the movement is gaining considerable traction; the newest vote totals from NHL.com show Rory in a rather solid fifth place, with 144,819 votes. Prett...
Sadly, She Was Only On Level One
What happens when you cross Million Dollar Baby with The Miracle Worker? You get this; which we suppose is video boxing, but could also be a clearcut case of demonic possession. We blame two things for these deeply troubling images: The new wireless Wii remote, and Title IX. Clearly there are flaws ...