lakers Page 44 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Holy Shit, The Lakers Actually Won A Game
Here you see ecstatic weirdos clad in sleeveless shirts with names like "Abdul-Jabbar," "Johnson," and "S. Parker" on the back applauding their team for truly achieving the unthinkable: yes, the Lakers won a basketball game. For those disbelieving, here is the proof....
The Lakers Suck So Goddamn Bad And I Love It And So Should You
The Lakers lost to the fun and exciting Phoenix Suns last night, 112-106, in Los Angeles. They're now 0-5 for the first time since 1957, when they were the Minneapolis Lakers and Kobe Bryant was only like 15 years old....
Gerald Green Dunked The Lakers Back Into Their Mausoleum
The shit-ass Lakers are now 0-5 after dropping a home game to the not-shit-ass Phoenix Suns last night. While Kobe Bryant was out there racking up 39 points on 37 (37! Thirty-seven!) shots, Suns swingman and dunk specialist Gerald Green was yamming on the Lakers without mercy. ...
The Lakers Are Still Jump-Kicking Themselves In The Face
A funny thing happened on Halloween: Perhaps inspired by the children of America— who'd spent the evening taking to the streets in elaborate costumes, pretending to be ghosts and ghouls and ninja turtles rather than little kids—the Lakers decided to dress up as a team that can wring success out of t...
We Have An Actual Kobe Bryant Highlight To Show You
Kobe went as M.J. for Halloween....
Nick Young Dressed Up As The Best <em>Chappelle's Show</em> Sketch
Let's take this opportunity to clarify something: The best Chappelle's Show sketch was Charlie Murphy's stories about Rick James. There's no need to be contrarian about this....
Kobe To Dwight Howard: "Soft Motherfucker, Bitch-Ass Nigga"
It was plainly clear that Kobe Bryant called Dwight Howard "soft" while shit-talking his former teammate on opening night, but now, thanks to an intrepid Instagram user who was sitting courtside at the game, we know that Kobe also called Dwight a "bitch-ass nigga."...
Come, Let Us Have Another Laugh At The Disastrous Lakers
So the Lakers rolled out their "actually, bad basketball is cool and good" strategy again last night in Phoenix; accordingly, they got their wheels knocked off, losing 119-99 in a game that somehow makes even that score seem deceptively close....
Oh Man, The Lakers Are In Big, Big Trouble
Yep, the Lakers really are going with this whole "play terrible basketball on purpose" thing. Last night against the Rockets, they attempted 10 three-pointers as a team—two more than Houston's Trevor Ariza fired up by himself—and sent the Rockets to the free-throw line 50 times. They did both of t...
Lakers Rookie Julius Randle Breaks Leg In First NBA Game
In a 90-108 loss to the Houston Rockets in their season opener, the Los Angeles Lakers looked about as underwhelming and stagnant as everyone feared they would be. What's already shaping up to be a rough season in L.A. got even worse when rookie forward Julius Randle, the seventh overall pick in thi...
Kobe And Dwight Howard Talk Shit To Each Other, Get Double Technicals
Dwight Howard left the Lakers a season ago, but because of Kobe Bryant's achilles injury, the two haven't played against each other since their ill-fated partnership blew up in everybody's face. If you thought things between the two were all good, well, you don't know Kobe Bryant very well....
Back Injury Forces Steve Nash Out For Entire 2014–15 Season
The bad back that has plagued Steve Nash his entire career has knocked him out for the entire season before it even begins, the Lakers announced Thursday night. Nash suffered the latest re-aggravation—I shit you not—while carrying some luggage....
Jeanie Buss Goes In On "Losers" Who Don't Want To Play With Kobe
Things aren't going so great for the Los Angeles Lakers right now. Their head coach is dead set on implementing a caveman brand of basketball that may very well turn the Lakers into the worst team in the NBA, and a recent story by ESPN's Henry Abbott painted Kobe Bryant as a self-sabotaging sociopat...
Anonymous NBA Agents: Nobody Wants To Play With Kobe Bryant
ESPN has dropped a feature on Kobe Bryant in the latest issue of ESPN: The Magazine, and it's a doozy. The title "Is Kobe Bryant the reason for the Los Angeles Lakers' downfall?" seems misleadingly non-committal, as author Henry Abbott clearly believes that the answer is an unequivocal "yes." The ...
Alec Burks Crosses Over Kobe Bryant, Likely Earns Kobe's Eternal Ire
Jazz guard Alec Burks achieved a neat little highlight for himself when he crossed over Kobe Bryant, and drove for the layup with the foul. At least Kobe's embarassing blooper in the twilight of his career was a little more graceful than Paul Pierce's....
But No, Seriously, What The Hell Are The Lakers Doing?
On Wednesday, we took a very brief look at how the Lakers are actively sabotaging themselves. Last night, they lost 119-86 to the Jazz, who suck, and furthered some of their deliberate bad tendencies. A couple new humiliating charts came across Twitter since our first post, so why not throw it in re...
The Lakers Will Play Terrible Basketball, On Purpose
Byron Scott gave an interview last week following the Lakers' first preseason game; it went largely ignored, because preseason is stupid and no one cares. But with the Lakers looking like one of the more conspicuous disasters going so far—without any plans of tanking, bear in mind—let's take a quick...
Ronnie Price Loses Shoe, Turns Over Ball, Throws Shoe, Gets Technical
Via @cjzero, here's Lakers point guard Ronnie Price losing his shoe, turning over the ball, and throwing the shoe at Andre Iguodala in an attempt to play defense. The shoe throw didn't work, of course, and Price received a technical foul for his innovation....