lance Page 26 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rick Reilly® Celebrates After Scoring Big Interview With Lance Armstrong's Ass
But before that, Rick Reilly® was apparently wandering aimlessly on a French road and this nice photographer lady picked him up. Then they went back to the hotel and slammed beers....

The Critic-Proofing Of Lance Armstrong
The ad you see here is the new Lance Armstrong spot for Nike, which would be merely standard-issue, inspiromatic marketing schlock if it didn't come so creepily close to suggesting that to criticize Lance now is to somehow enable cancer....

Lance Armstrong Can't Not Be The Top Dog
Lance Armstrong said he just wanted to get some exercise and maybe promote his wristbands, because after four years off, expecting him to win the Tour de France would just be silly. What's that? He's in first place now? Lovely....

The Tour De France is, How You Say, "Underway"
Lance Armstrong began his quest for eight with a solid start in the first-stage time trial. And that's the only mention of France we'll have on this July 4th, I can promise you that! East Coast Bias has you covered....

A Nutty Theory About Lance Armstrong
A couple of scientists argue that Lance Armstrong did indeed employ certain exotic performance-enhancing procedures before his run of seven consecutive Tour De France victories: namely, getting his diseased testicle lopped off....

Lance Armstrong Takes On The Wall Street Journal, Lance Armstrong Tweet-Reports
Last month, Lance Armstrong boycotted the media, speaking directly to his fans in 140-character chunks. He tried to break the ban by writing a letter to The WSJ, but they "butchered it," and instead, he printed it on his blog....

Rick Majerus, Communicator Extraordinaire
From a review of Lance Allred's Longshot: The Adventures of a Deaf Fundamentalist Mormon Kid and His Journey to the NBA: "[Majerus] had a habit of calling Lance 'cunt extraordinaire' and ... would sometimes spell out 'cunt' with his fingers to make sure there was 'no miscommunication.'" [Cleveland S...

Lance Armstrong Turned Off By Sheryl Crow's Incessant Babymaking Demands
Yes, we know: You've been incontinent with suspense about what rent asunder the sacred ugly-bumping bond between four-hundred-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow, the singer who had that song that time....

Lance Armstrong's New Bike Insipred By Hope
Because it was designed by Obama poster artist Shepard Fairey. [AnimalNY]...

The French Will Not Let This Lance Armstrong Thing Go
Lance Armstrong has never failed a drug test and that makes French people insane, but like anyone with a good enough lawyer, they may have found a loophole to punish him anyway....

Rest Easy America, The Lance Armstong Bike Thieves Are Behind Bars
After an exhaustive manhunt, Sacramento police have captured the people they think stole Lance Armstrong's bike during practice runs for the Tour of California on Feb. 15. And one is named Dung Le. [ABCNews10]...

A Few Fun Facts About The Manatee CC Win Over The Pirates
First of all, they're calling it The Miracle On Grass; that's how big Manatee Junior College's 6-4 win over the Pittsburgh Pirates has become around Florida's Tampa-St. Pete area....

Lance Armstrong Out Of Commission, Twitter Still Functional
Sadly, no definitive pictures or video have yet emerged of the crash that claimed Lance Armstrong's celebrated collarbone, but as predicted, his Twitter account is on the case with the necessary updates....

Armstrong Goes Down!
Lance Armstrong crashed on the first stage of a race in Spain today, and was taken to the hospital with a possible broken collarbone. What about the face? Did something happen to his face?! [Reuters]...

Mr. Armstrong Expresses Displeasure With The French In 130 Characters Or Less (With Update)
Perhaps no athlete has used Twitter to his advantage more than Lance Armstrong; his Twitter Army found his stolen bike, after all. Now, our hero Twitters his outrage at those who stole some his hair....

One Eye Appears To Not Be Living As Strongly As The Other
Lance Armstrong broke up the crowd at a recent press conference with his Cookie Monster impression. Oh, wait. No, he didn't. [Best Week Ever]...

Leading The Herd At The Tour Of California
There are few things in nature more magnificent than this; it's the Tour Of California, where idiotic costumed cycling fans are half the fun. The inspiring true story of Antler Guy, following the jump....

If You're Out On Your Bike Tonight, Beware of Syringe Man
Lance Armstrong was riding along in the Tour of California when he was approached by this ridiculous character. Armstrong wasted little time grabbing the man, and shoving him into a conveniently placed snow bank....

A Grateful Nation Weeps With Joy: Lance Armstrong's Bike Recovered Unharmed
Lance Armstrong's stolen bike has been rescued, and should be reunited with its owner sometime today. Police aren't offering many details, but I have a feeling we can all thank the mystical powers of Facebook....