law Page 81 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cranky Old Man Goes Mike Tyson On Neighbors
When the local kids' football landed in his yard, a Michigan man reacted as any of us would: he bit one of their dads on the face. [Sports Rubbish]...
"Motherf***er Hit My Penis"
Minnesota's Simoni Lawrence crotches himself on a yard marker, and provides us with a contender for quote of the year....
And After He Took The Shot, He Beat The Crap Out Of Both Of Them
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Yankees More Than Willing To Employ Crazy Old Men
Senior citizens are suing the Bombers for age discrimination after one was asked in a job interview, "What could someone 73 years old offer the Yankees?" I don't know...lunatic micromanagement and a Dave Winfield blackmail file? [NYPost]...
FCC Is Still Worried About Janet Jackson's Boob
It's been almost six years since that horrible day when America first learned about the female breast and the Federal Communications Commission is still trying to find a way to punish someone for the infamous Super Bowl Nipple Fest....
Your Disdain for America Will Not Be Tolerated by the Newark Bears
Thomas Cetnar, an ex-cop convicted of stealing drug money, owns the Newark Bears, a minor league team managed by Tim Raines. Cetnar ejected three teenagers for not standing during "God Bless America." They're now suing him in federal court....
Roger Clemens Suit Against Brian McNamee Dismissed
A Texas judge dismissed Clemens' defamation lawsuit against his former trainer Brian McNamee, but McNamee's defamation suit against Clemens will continue in New York. Does anyone even remember what these two lovebirds are fighting about? [Daily News]...
Court Tells Feds That 2003 Steroid List Does Not Belong To Them
A U.S. appeals court laid the smack down on the Justice Department this week, ruling that the MLB steroid test results that keeps conveniently leaking to the press should have never have been given to prosecutors to begin with....
Poor Lawrence Tynes
The Giants' kicker was forced to show off his hamstring flexibility with The Rockettes (and Santa!) in the middle of the 6th Avenue to prove his knee is fully rehabilitated from last year. Coughlin's a tough sonuvabitch. [Best Week Ever]...
Delaware Loses Gambling Lawsuit, Also Fails To Cover
A Federal Appeals court sided with major sports leagues and struck down Delaware's plan to offer sports betting this fall. The integrity of sports is saved! Isn't that wonderful?...
Meet Crusher, Nightmare Ant's Crustacean Relation
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Ben Roethlisberger's Lawyers Stay On The Offensive
Big Ben's legal team released a series of emails and instant messages sent by his accuser that they say "prove" he did not rape that woman, Andrea McNulty. If IM messages are now irrefutable evidence, then may I suggest this....
The Long Strange Sad Journey Of Lawrence Phillips
Former Nebraska/NFL running back Lawrence Phillips was convicted of seven felony charges yesterday and faces up to 25 years in prison, but he's already in jail, serving a 10-year sentence for another crime. How did it come to this?...
Kenny Williams' No Good, Very Bad Day
First, the White Sox GM finds a moldering, $60 million fourth outfielder on waivers. Then he gets popped in Seattle for jaywalking. Only one of these things is criminally stupid....
NCAA Implements Scorched Delaware Policy
The four major pro sports and the NCAA lost step one in their legal battle against Delaware. Sports gambling begins there on September 1. The NCAA's response? Ban all postseason games from the state. In your face, Blue Hens!...
The Inexorable Pussification Of Little League Marches On
A 12-year-old boy thought it would be cool to break out the pop-up slide — and tore up his knee in the process. This being America, of course his family sued. So how much money did they get?...
Lisa Mayfield Did Not Appreciate The "Whore" Remarks
NASCAR's Jeremy Mayfield is being sued by his stepmother, Lisa, for "slanderous, false and defamatory statements" she says he made about her. You mean the murdering whore thing? Wait ... you were upset about?...
Suddenly, Everyone Cares About Delaware Again
The NFL, NBA, NHL, MLB and NCAA—what no UFL?—have joined forces to sue Delaware in the hopes of stopping their new state gambling law. Delaware can't have this one thing? They don't ask for much! [ESPN/USA Today]...
Ben Roethlisberger's Full Statement About The Sexual Assault Lawsuit
A defiant Big Ben denies "reckless" and "outrageous" allegations of sexual assault, doesn't take media questions, and says he will only address this in the "appropriate forum." (Respect the legal process! Truth prevails!) It's gonna be a long year. [WTAE/ESPN]...
Tall Car Salesman Poised To Become The "Curt Flood Of College Sports"
Ed O'Bannon, the former UCLA star now selling Camrys in the suburbs of Las Vegas, is the lead plaintiff in a long-awaited, much-welcomed class action suit that could sink a coup de grace through the NCAA's incoherent definition of amateurism....