lawrence Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Nets And You, You Big Loser
So, Lawrence Frank, fired by New Jersey. Is sparing a coach the notoriety of completing a historic losing streak doing him a favor, or just rubbing salt in the wound?...
The New Jersey Nets Are Not Very Good At Basketball
The Nets are now sitting at 0-16 after losing to the Sacramento Kings 109-96 Friday night, leaving them one loss shy of tying the NBA record for season-opening futility, previously accomplished by the Heat (1988) and Clippers (1999)....
"Motherf***er Hit My Penis"
Minnesota's Simoni Lawrence crotches himself on a yard marker, and provides us with a contender for quote of the year....
And After He Took The Shot, He Beat The Crap Out Of Both Of Them
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Poor Lawrence Tynes
The Giants' kicker was forced to show off his hamstring flexibility with The Rockettes (and Santa!) in the middle of the 6th Avenue to prove his knee is fully rehabilitated from last year. Coughlin's a tough sonuvabitch. [Best Week Ever]...
The Long Strange Sad Journey Of Lawrence Phillips
Former Nebraska/NFL running back Lawrence Phillips was convicted of seven felony charges yesterday and faces up to 25 years in prison, but he's already in jail, serving a 10-year sentence for another crime. How did it come to this?...
Lawrence Taylor Is Easing Into NFL Elder Statesman Role Quite Nicely
"A lot of the guys will sit there and live football. Every Sunday they're glued to the t.v. watching football. I don't watch football. I'd rather watch two people fuck" [Sports Radio Interviews]...
Boomer Esiason Will Sweep The Leg
Boomer Esiason interviewing Ralph Macchio on the enduring legacy of The Karate Kid? Yes, sign me up. Oh, and did you know they're doing a remake? Wax on. Wax off....
Lawrence Taylor To Become Newest "That Guy From The Dancing Show"
LT to be the next awkward oversized athlete on "Dancing With The Stars." He should have no problem breaking his partner's leg. [Sports Hernia]...
Lawrence Tynes To President Bush: Pardon My Brother, Please
Question: Do you know who Lawrence Tynes is without me having to explain that he's the kicker for the New York Giants? Do you think President Bush knows? He did single out Tynes during the Giants post-Super Bowl White House visit, because it was his overtime field goal against Green Bay that sent th...
Cocaine Is A Helluva Drug
That's the second time that phrase has been used today, but in this case it seems much more appropriate. This will air on Friday's "Best Damn Sports Show Period". I love how terrified Chris Rose looks after it happens. It's almost like he's just realized that Lawrence Taylor is, in fact, crazy and ...
Jimmy Rollins Is Recognizable
The Gray Lady has an amusing piece today limning a day in the life of the slavering subhuman horde that is the habitual autograph hound. The column tags them as "Sharpie-wielding stalkers," which might be a terrible slight to stalkers everywhere. I mean, at least most stalkers know who they're purs...
Johnny Lawrence Can Still Sweep The Leg
It's time for Minor Enterprise, which celebrates Minor League baseball and all else that is good and great about America. And now, please rise as William Hung sings his rendition of our National Anthem ......
On May 15, The Fresno Grizzlies Will Sweep The Leg
Time once again for Minor Enterprise, a celebration of God's gift of Minor League baseball promotions, mascots and fans. Also, The View's Joy Behar dishes celebrity gossip....
Catch New Jersey Nets Playoff Excitement!
It wasn't the best season for the New Jersey Nets — but hey, Vince Carter is still around! — but that's not stopping the Nets from maximizing all corporate sponsorship opportunities....
Lawrence Frank Might Have Been The Knight Mole
The Indiana-Purdue game tonight has the makings of a classic, with the surging Boilers heading into Bloomington to tick down the last dying days of Kelvin Sampson at Indiana. It's gonna be fun. And another subplot? How about Nets coach Lawrence Frank ... and Bob Knight?...
Pac Man Is "Wrestling" At The Wrong Time
Before your proverbial panties are proverbially bunched by Pac Man Jones not really wrestling, the fine gents at Rich Kotite Banged Your Mom remind us that, in the olden days of 12 years ago, NFL players didn't just wrestle, they headlined Wrestlemania. There was no worry about injury back then, tho...
If He's Half As Crazy As Joey Porter, The Steelers Drafted Well
With the 15th pick in the NFL Draft, the Pittsburgh Steelers select Lawrence Timmons, LB, Florida State. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
Lawrence Phillips Goes For Rare Triple Crown
An old George Carlin comedy routine had a good time mocking California's "Three Strikes And You're Out" policy of jailing three-time felons for life; Carlin pointed out that the writing of laws for the incarceration of our citizens should perhaps not be based in cute and funny baseball terms. But as...
Lawrence Phillips Hits Bottom, Is Sure He Can Go Lower
And so in the end, Lawrence Phillips leaves us the way we always knew he would: receiving up to 20 years in prison for running into three kids with his car after a pickup football game. The former Cornhuskers /Rams /Dolphins /49ers /Bobcats /Alouettes /Stampeders /Dragons running back was convicte...