lax Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

ESPN's Ian O'Connor Confuses His Job Duties With Eli Manning's
Did you hear what Plaxico Burress did at the Meadowlands last night? He did nothing. The ESPN.com caption this morning was "Plaxico Burress shines in his first game back in the NFL, scoring a touchdown against the Bengals on Sunday." This is a stupid lie, born of boredom and fraud: Burress's first g...

What ESPN Will Be Talking About Today: Plaxico Catching A Football In A Pretend Game
A new feature in which we condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Robbie Keane Will Play For LA Galaxy, Import Sensational New WAG To American Soccer
Ireland, it is said, is a nation of begrudgers. 'Tis indeed. The only thing more brooding and begrudging than an Irishman is an Irishman crossed with a Russian Jew. And the current cause for begrudgery in Ireland is Robbie Keane....

Plaxico Burress Talks About What Happens When You Shoot Yourself
Here's one choice selection from an HBO "Real Sports" segment on Jets WR Plaxico Burress, who shot himself with an unlicensed handgun in a Manhattan night club on Nov. 28, 2008:...

Soccer Fans In Portland Still Behaving Curiously Like Soccer Fans In Any City Outside The United States
The Portland Timbers—seventh in the MLS's Western Conference and 7-10-4 overall—defeated the league-leading L.A. Galaxy 3-0 on Wednesday night. In spite of their hangovers, the Timbers Army was in fine form for the upset. Someone trained a camera on the heart of the crew just before Jorge Perlaza ...

Plaxico Burress Will Resume His Career In The City That Incarcerated Him
Former Steelers and Giants WR Plaxico Burress has signed a one-year deal with the Jets. Burress did 21 months in prison after he shot himself in the leg at a club, but he wasn't wearing sweatpants. ...

Mario Balotelli Punished For "Unprofessional"-And-Also-Failed Backheel Goal Attempt
Mario Balotelli, the 20-year-old Italian striker who plays for Manchester City, attempted a backheel goal in a friendly against the L.A. Galaxy on Saturday, and it did not go well. He missed the goal by a few feet and was immediately pulled from the game. Youth soccer coaches across the world are ...

OK, For The Last Time: Plaxico Burress Was Not Wearing Sweatpants The Night He Shot Himself
The night he busted a cap in his thigh, Plaxico Burress was wearing jeans. This is a fact confirmed both by the New York County District Attorney's Office and Burress himself. He was not wearing sweatpants. There is as much proof that he wore sweatpants that night as there is that he wore a crinolin...

Mavericks Fan Sitting Behind George Lopez Speaks For All America
Your morning roundup for June 6, the day we learned the value of Bernie Madoff's underwear. H/T @bubbaprog, proprietor of mocksession.com, for accurately predicting what might tickle us this morning (and others for sending in their own grabs)....

Lacrosse Hidden-Ball Trick Video Makes Me Interested In Lacrosse For Another Hot Second
In a NCAA Tournament game against UNC, the Maryland Terrapins successfully pulled off the "hidden ball" trick. They went on to win the game 13-6 in no small part because people don't really ever recover from getting hidden-balled by guys named Drew Snider....

Lacrosse Hail Mary Video Makes Me Interested In Lacrosse For A Hot Second
Gonzaga (HS in DC) clinched their conference title with a length-of-the-field hurl with 10 seconds left. I like this a lot more than those indoor lacrosse league that try to sell me on the fighting....

Landon Donovan Is "A (Genitalia)head," And Other Things Of Note
Your morning roundup for May 10, the day the gays were good enough for the Navy but not good enough for Uptown Sports Athlete Representation....

It's Good For MLS When You Boo Landon Donovan
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: American fans are catching up to their European brethren when it comes to vitriol....

Eli Manning Wants Plaxico Back
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: one way the Giants could avoid shooting themselves in the foot....

Boston's Pro Lacrosse Team President Apologizes For Inexplicable Halftime Lap Dance Contest
Well aware it'll take more than Frisbee-catching dogs to keep a fickle crowd entertained at halftime, the Boston Blazers opted for an edgier show to the disappointment of families who brought young kids to TD Garden Saturday night....

Tucker Virtue Finally Gets His Due
Inside Lacrosse is back with their fourth annual All-Name Team, where Caldwell Rohrbach and Braxton Deaver rub shoulders with Draper Donley and Baxter Lanius IV. New this year: a women's team. Stereotypes ahoy!...

Plaxico Burress Talks About Being in Prison, Doesn't Seem to Like It
The New York Daily News spared no hokey imagery in bringing America the long-awaited "Hey, I wonder how Plaxico Burress feels after almost a year of being locked up" story today....

Plaxico Burress Is History's Greatest Monster Because He Stole A Punter's Number
It's standard operating procedure for newly acquired players to get their favored jersey number, but only after compensating the owner. It's been five years, and Burress still owes Jeff Feagles a new kitchen....

Landon Donvan Staying In Los Angeles Is Good For Whom, Exactly?
The MLS Commissioner said Donovan won't be transferred for the 3-plus years remaining on his Galaxy contract. Some people aren't happy, but to that MLS says, who cares what you want?...

Soccer Player Screws Up Royally, Joins Group Of Elite Soccer Royal Screwer-Uppers
Kansas City BulletsWizards striker Kei Kamara had an early opportunity in a recent match against the LA Galaxy and proceeded to fall on his ass and get called for a handball. Anything for a laugh....