lies Page 73 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Memphis Grizzlies Have Fired Coach Dave Joerger, The Lucky S.O.B.
Having served Dave Joerger a cold supper of radioactive gunge and watched him lick the bowl clean, the front office of the Memphis Grizzlies announced his firing today. First as an assistant, Joerger had been with the organization for the past nine seasons, a.k.a. the bulk of the Grizzlies’ relevanc...

Phillies Pitchers' Many Strikeouts Lead To Wacky Accidental Klan Reference
The Phillies’ pitchers this year are mowing down batters at a ridiculous clip. The staff averaged more than 10 strikeouts per nine innings through April, the first time that’s happened in Major League history. I know this because I checked out the coverage over at philly.com because of this facepalm...

The Many, Many, Many Memphis Grizzlies Have Gone Gently Into That Good Night
The Spurs finished their thoroughly unsurprising sweep of a bunch of guys wearing Grizzlies jerseys today, backhoeing a final heap of dirt onto Memphis’ season. In the final moments of the 116-95 thumping, Grizzlies fans stood and applauded their team’s efforts, which is usually the sort of shit you...

Spurs-Grizzlies Delayed By "Power Surge"
ABC/ESPN’s broadcast of the Spurs-Grizzlies game in Memphis was interrupted suddenly early in the second quarter as what Mike Tirico described as a “power surge” brought the game to a halt....

Grizzlies Mascot Back To Putting Opponents Through Tables
Grizzlies mascot Grizz had a pro wrestling routine last season, and he’s back at it this year as he tormented a poor ersatz Spurs mascot during a timeout in tonight’s game three. It didn’t help Memphis much, but it’s fun to watch:...

Bryce Harper Takes Phillies Pitcher's Offering To The Toilet
With a full count on Bryce Harper in Sunday’s game, Phillies pitcher Jeanmar Gomez threw a sinker over the plate. The Nats outfielder put that pitch straight into the damn toilet....

Apparently, The Phillies Don't Know The Rules Of Baseball
Today in “Things Only The Phillies And Little Leaguers Do,” watch Phillies second baseman Cesar Hernandez get doubled off on a called infield fly....

Tiny Point Guards Are The Best
My favorite type of NBA player is an audacious, teeny-tiny point guard who makes up for his physical deficiencies with speed and bravado. Watching an apex human like LeBron James dunk on guys is its own sort of thrill, but it’s far more out of the ordinary for someone of Isaiah Thomas’ stature to do...

I Wish I Was This Dog In A Baby Carrier At The Phillies Game
Look at this goddamn dog chilling in his baby carrier at a Phillies spring training game. I have never been more jealous of another living being....


What Are My Legal Rights At Political Rallies?
Welcome back to Ask a Lawyer, wherein I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below....


A Good Goalie Goal
The Lethbridge Hurricanes of the Western Hockey League clinched their division with a 9-3 win over the Medicine Hat Tigers last night, and one of those nine was a bomb from Stuart Skinner all way from the other end....

There's A Lot Of Turmoil Within The Memphis Grizzlies Ownership Group
As the Memphis Grizzlies undergo an injury crisis on the court, behind the scenes things seem even messier. According to a report from Brian Windhorst and Zach Lowe. Grizzlies minority owner Steve Kaplan’s plan to sell his stake in the team and buy into the Minnesota Timberwolves has been complicate...

Jose Bautista And The Phillie Phanatic Have A Fitness Contest
I don’t what baseball’s unwritten rules say or don’t say about challenging mascots to handstand contests, but I’d like to believe they’re encouraged....

The Grizzlies Are Lance Stephenson's Right Now, And That's Entertaining As Hell
You know how Marc Gasol broke his foot, Mario Chalmers tore his Achilles, Zach Randolph’s knee ain’t happy, Brandan Wright has a messed up MCL, and all the Grizzlies had was Mike Conley and some randos? Well:...

Donald Trump Praises Missouri's Football Teams In Bizarre Speech
In the past twelve months, the state of Missouri has watched its NFL team depart for Los Angeles while its lone Division I-FBS team nearly went on strike due to racism on campus; they went 5-7 on the season. The two FCS programs? Missouri State’s football team went 1-10, while SEMO went 4-7. Donald ...

Actually, Ruben Amaro Was Very Into Analytics, Says Ruben Amaro
Ruben Amaro, Jr. took over as Phillies GM right after they won the World Series in 2008, and for a few years maintained that success. But as the Phillies’ core aged, Amaro made a string of terrible moves, to the point where the Phillies were one of the worst teams in baseball the past three seasons,...

The Cavs Got Beat By Something Resembling The Memphis Grizzlies
If the Cavaliers were sending cryptic tweets before losing to a Memphis Grizzlies team missing most of the players you’ve heard of, I can’t even imagine what they’re going to send out tonight....
