lies Page 79 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Worst Punishment For Luis Suárez Is Forcing Him To Play Teenagers
The worst part of Luis Suárez's suspension for the player himself probably hasn't been the jokes about his cannibalistic supervillain image, nor missing out on the early parts of this promising Barcelona season, nor the weekly adulation from tens of thousands of fans he used to receive whenever he s...
Montana Player Leaves Game After Being Shoved Headfirst Into Wall
Montana wide receiver Ellis Henderson was forced from Saturday's game against North Dakota State University after being shoved headfirst into the wall. A 4th and 2 play in the third quarter saw Henderson catching the ball in the flat and attempting to get out of bounds for the first down, but he was...
Papelboned: Dong Grab Earns Phillies Closer Seven-Game Ban
MLB announced tonight that Jonathan Papelbon will be suspended seven games for grabbing his penis toward booing Phillies fans, which is a sentence I consider it a privilege to have been able to write....
White ESPN Titans Reporter Has Qualms About Plies
Yesterday, before the Dallas Cowboys-Tennessee Titans game, the Titans reportedly had some portable speakers on the sideline during warmups. Through these speakers, they played rap music. Hold onto your hats, because it gets worse....
Jonathan Papelbon Ejected For Grabbing Crotch At Booing Phillies Fans
Phillies reliever Jonathan Papelbon has never been a crowd favorite in Philadelphia, and when fans at Citizens Bank Park booed him off the field for blowing a three-run ninth inning lead to the Marlins he recognized their display by grabbing his dick....
Watch Joe Panik's Pinkie Disappear As He Slides Into Second Base
Giants rookie Joe Panik was the unwilling participant in a magic trick when he slid into second during Sunday's game against the Phillies. Now you see his pinkie finger, and now—oh, shit....
Brennan Boesch Flings Bat In Stands On Consecutive Swings; Crowd Pissed
Brennan Boesch, now with the Angels' triple-A team, angered a lot of Fresno Grizzlies fans on the first base side last night. He let go of his bat on a swing, apparently injuring a girl. Then, on the very next pitch, he flung his bat again, and everybody decided he was doing this on purpose....
Roberto Hernandez Catches Liner Right At His Face
This is why Phil Hughes acted like a spazz trying to catch a non-existent liner earlier in the week. You never know when a batter is going to redirect your pitch right into your face. Roberto Hernandez knows: better safe than sorry. ...
Phillies GM Explains Why Terrible Team Didn't Get Better
The trade deadline should have been the Phillies' day. They are bad, foundering, getting worse, weighed down by terrible contracts and not about to be bailed out by talent from a thin minor league system. But they have handful of good major leaguers, all older, all who would be very useful for a t...
Cliff Lee Exits Early With Injury, Yells "Fuck!"
It's hard to say what happened—and speculating about injuries is the worst—but in the video here (not embeddable yet), Cliff lee is obviously upset and frustrated after throwing his 31st pitch of the game. In the third inning, with Denard Span up, Lee threw a cutter and immediately looked disgus...
It's Time Again To Enjoy Miserable Phillies Fans In Extreme Slow Motion
Jonathan Papelbon shit the bed again tonight, earning another loss and blowing his second game in as many days. A while back, we presented some Phillies fans watching the game slip away in extreme slow motion . You seemed to like it, so we did it again tonight....
Cliff Lee Was Bad And Then Farted
The trade deadline is but nine days away, and one of the big names that's almost certainly on the market—if anyone wants him—is Phillies starter Cliff Lee. Lee made his return to the mound yesterday after more than two months on the DL, and everything was wet and loud and messy....
Ryan Howard Drives In Two On Check Swing
Someone should probably check on Colby Lewis to make sure his skull is still intact and tiny pieces of his brain are not scattered all over the place. With the bases loaded and a full count in the top of the fourth inning against the Giants, Ryan Howard drove in two runs with an excuse-me swing th...
The Phillies Spent Their Rain Delay Playing Bullpen Bocce
The Phillies waited out a one-hour, 39-minute rain delay in Atlanta yesterday, and some bored souls out in the visitors' bullpen managed to pass the time with a few games of baseball bocce. God bless whoever invented the sphere....
Phillies Play-By-Play Guy Catches Home Run, Throws Ball Back On Field
The Phillies announced earlier in the week that their three-man broadcast team of Tom McCarthy, Canadian Stone Cold Steve Austin Matt Stairs, and Jamie Moyer would call Friday night's game against the Braves from a special location in centerfield. Good idea!...
The Phillie Phanatic Tried To Kill A Guy In A Pig Costume
OK, so maybe murder was never quite on the table, but the Phanatic should still be considered a dangerous maniac to be avoided at all costs. Those air cannons pack a heavy punch, and the poor pig-man got lit up from close range. That shit hurts!...
Which MLB Fans Are The Biggest Bandwagoners?
Two researchers at Emory University have launched their 2014 MLB Fan Analysis, which uses the numbers to break down baseball's fan bases by any number of variables. Earlier this week, they tackled one near and dear to our hearts: Which teams' attendance is most closely correlated with its success?...
Jonathan Quick Saved Everything And Salvaged Some Respect
The odd thing about this series, where L.A. finds itself up 3-0, is that it's never felt particularly dominant. The Kings have clearly been the better team, but Games 1 and 2 could have gone either way, and everything save the scoreboard says last night's 3-0 win was fortuitous. ...