lies Page 83 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Moment Of Phillies Ineptitude Brought To You By The Bullpen Phone
How bad were the Phillies against Baltimore tonight? So bad they had to bring in Jeff Francoeur to pitch. Except that Francoeur couldn’t get anybody out, so pitching coach Bob McClure tried to call down to the bullpen to get a real pitcher up. One problem: the bullpen phone was off the hook after Ph...
Ruben Amaro Jr.: How Bad A GM Do You Think I Am?
Last night, CSN Philadelphia’s Jim Salisbury reported that the Mariners are “checking in” on speedy Phillies outfielder Ben Revere. This makes sense: Revere has been squeezed out of his natural left-field role, and despite a down year, is still miles better than what Seattle has been getting from it...
AMERICA BEAT GERMANY, WE ARE GIANT KILLERS, WHO WANTS NEXT, HUH?!
Last week wasn’t a fluke! Earlier today wasn’t a fluke! We still got the magic, baby!...
Mix Diskerud Bicycle-Kicks In Goal; USMNT Is Kinda Hanging With Germany
Hmmm, the USMNT maintaining possession, playing it out from the back, overloading zones with intelligent off-ball movement, good first touches, and a tying goal that wasn’t totally against the run of play while facing one of the world’s best? Maybe we were on to something......
The Phillies' GM Is Sick Of All These Fans Who Just "Bitch And Complain"
Phillies GM Ruben Amaro has constructed a team that has put together back-to-back 73-win seasons, and with the club’s current record sitting at 19-28, it doesn’t look like things are going to get better this year. And yet, Amaro would really like for all those disillusioned Phillies fans out there t...
Phillies Catcher Accidentally Pegs Pitcher In Throat
Thank the capabilities of slow-mo these days, because just seconds after Phillies catcher Cameron Rupp flung a ball right into pitcher Sean O’Sullivan’s throat, the broadcast immediately showed two exceptional angles of “Man Getting Hit By Baseball.”...
Phillies Fan Rips Home Run Ball Away From Old Lady
We’ve been over the ethics of who deserves baseballs that make their way off the field of play before (consult this flowchart) and so we feel it necessary to illustrate this incident from yesterday’s Diamondbacks-Phillies game, in which a Phillyfan pushes aside an elderly woman to grab Maikel Franco...
Grizzlies Hold Pregame "Moment Of Song" In Memory Of B.B. King
Memphis legend B.B. King died last night, and given his importance as a cultural icon to the Blues capital, it was a given the Grizzlies would do some sort of tribute before tonight’s Game 6 against the Warriors. But the occasion didn’t call for the standard moment of silence; instead, the Grizzlies...
The Warriors Are Cruel
I won’t presume to know how Grizzlies fans were feeling during the first few minutes of last night’s Game 5 loss to the Warriors. It was certainly too early for them to be feeling confident, but the Grizzlies being up by double digits early, with Marc Gasol and Zach Randolph doing their thing and th...
Dipshit Mets Fan Throws Beer At Grady Sizemore
Here’s a dipshit Mets fan spending $12 in a futile attempt to disrupt Phillies right fielder Grady Sizemore from fielding a ball in the fourth inning at Citi Field today. Stop wasting beer, dipshit!...
Who Will Be Healthy For The Western Conference Playoffs?
All season, we’ve been waiting for the Western Conference playoff bloodbath to start. Unfortunately, it’s looking like a lot of the blood has been spilled too early. ...
Jonathan Papelbon Talks Horses And Dick-Sucking Holes
Whenever the Red Sox and Phillies play, someone sticks a recorder in Jonathan Papelbon’s face and uses his thoughts on both teams as an angle to get through the series. (Shane Victorino just isn’t as brash.) Before Wednesday’s game, the Phillies closer was direct to the Boston Globe about his conne...
Jeff Green Dunk Annihilates Entire Nation
Jeff Green threw down a dunk during tonight’s game against the Wizards that certainly shook anyone and everything associated with Washington, D.C. that we should expect to awake tomorrow to pure and unadulterated anarchy....
Andros Townsend Waves Hi To Media Hater After Great International Goal
Andros Townsend isn't a great player, but then again, England aren't a great team, so it isn't too much of a surprise that the Spurs winger was called up during this international break, nor that he managed to blast home the tying goal in today's 1-1 draw against Italy. Well, not a surprise to us....
Phillies To Start Serving Hard Liquor And Wine To Fans
Good news for Phillies fans who would like to increase their chances at catching vomit spray from some drunk goon at a ballgame this year: For the first time ever, the team will be selling wine and cocktails on the main concourse at Citizens Bank Park. ...
Brek Shea Pounds A Free Kick Into The Top Corner To Give USMNT Lead
Ooooh, there's that boy Brek Shea! Maybe he did learn something on those cold, rainy Wednesday nights with Stoke's U21 team, after all!...
USMNT Felled By Hat-Trick Hero Nicklas Bendtner, Who Still Sucks
For the first time this year—at least the first time we'd like to remember—a fit and strong USMNT squad got some run. The opponent was Denmark, stiff competition to be sure. So while USMNT fans could've justifiably been cautiously pleased with the 2-1 lead our boys took into the final 10 minutes of ...
My Compost Bin Has Been Overrun By Fruit Flies, Send Help
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Andrew Hammond Wins Again, Raises Hamburger In Triumph
Andrew Hammond's story is the best in the NHL right now, and the Senators are pushing for a miracle. But I can't shake the sense that the headline here ought to be "Magic hamburger doesn't explode after being thrown onto the ice." ...