life Page 15 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Two Minutes After Tweeting "Game Over," Sunderland Got Scored On Again
Here is Sunderland nearing the end of today’s match against Southampton:...
David Moyes To Sunderland Fans: Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here
Sunderland are in trouble. The squad is bad, the team is broke, and the man overseeing it all, once-heralded and now cosmically beleaguered manager David Moyes, can’t muster the will to even feign optimism....
Curt Schilling Is Convinced He Is Beefing With The Real Sidney Ponson
There are a lot of fake athlete accounts out there on Twitter, because it’s fun to pretend to be Jonathan Broxton or whatever and tweet, “just did a big wet fart.” One of these fake accounts bears the name of former MLB pitcher Sidney Ponson, and last night the owner of the account started a beef wi...
What's The View Like From Your Window?
It’s Friday afternoon. That’s the big window in the living room of the forest cabin that my family and I moved into a little over a week ago. It’s nice. I sit in that chair on the right side and do blogs. I’m sitting in that chair right now!...
Philly News Station Forgets Joe Frazier's Been Dead For Five Years, Wishes Him A Happy Birthday
Joe Frazier is not going to be meeting with friends and supporters this evening at City Hall at 6:00, because, sadly, Joe Frazier has been dead since 2011. That did not stop Philadelphia news station Fox29 from reporting that Frazier was turning 73 today....
Cowboys Fan Gets Punched, Loses Pants
You’ve seen plenty of videos of football fans punching each other on this website, but I don’t think you’ve ever seen one as neat and sad as this one: ...
Young Man Enjoys Phish Concert
I’ve never been into Phish, partly because I had a really awful roommate in college who loved them, and partly because I once stumbled into a bar that was projecting a live Phish concert onto the wall, much to the delight of the writhing mass of white dudes in sweat-stained ball caps that had packed...
Miami Fan Punches West Virginia Fan After Arguing Over Who Gets To Pee First
Who knows who was actually in line first, but two college football fans turned a disagreement over the urinal queue into something much more....
Once Again, It's Kevin Harlan's Live Radio Call Of An Idiot On The Field
Tonight’s national broadcast of the Broncos-Chiefs game featured an Idiot On The Field in Kansas City, and like most national games Kevin Harlan was calling play-by-play on Westwood One radio. Since his call of the Idiot in San Francisco earlier this season was one of the year’s best moments in spor...
Dildos Become Projectiles As Sex-Store Employees Foil Would-Be Robbery
When you get into a physically threatening situation, it pays to be resourceful and use whatever tools you have available to you. If you work at a sex toy store, those tools are dildos....
May This Philadelphia Opossum Bring You Holiday Cheer
This is Gary. Say hi to Gary. Merry Christmas Gary, you trashcat (his words, not mine, although I’d use the same words)....
Packers Fan's Drunken Odyssey Ends After He Bungles Daring Truck Stop Escape
Wintertime in Wisconsin is a harsh season for all, including drunken criminals whose schemes may end up foiled by the unforgiving climate. Nathan Tyler Meleski knows the pain....
Phillies' "Pistachio Girl" Fired For Being A White Nationalist
Emily Youcis, better known as “Pistachio Girl” at Philadelphia Phillies games, has been fired from her vendor job by Aramark, because she couldn’t stop supporting white nationalism online....
Get A Load Of This Ascot-Wearing, Wine-Toting Anti-Trump Philadelphia Vandal
Last week, two men spray painted “FUCK TRUMP!” on the wall of a Philadelphia Fresh Market. (That’s like a cut-rate Whole Foods.) They were a bit haphazard with their vandalism and got caught on security cameras by the grocery store. This is not a particularly notable case on its merits, and would be...
Can You Identify These Animals?
The Gardner Police Department needs your help. The Kansas town set up a bunch of wildlife cameras in a park to try and get footage of a mountain lion. Instead, they got this....
This Holocaust-Themed Figure Skating Routine Sure Is Something
The image of two figure skaters cheerfully performing a routine in concentration camp uniforms with yellow stars will likely provoke an immediate and harsh reaction, but the intent behind it might make it a little less tasteless. (Your mileage may vary.)...
Suicidal Squirrel Takes Down Squirrel-Hating Chicago Politician
Howard Brookins can’t stand squirrels....
Gifts For A Life With Diminished Horizons
The line between holiday gifts and New Year’s resolutions is less clear than it might seem. Unless you and your gift recipients have fallen into the terrible trap of typecasting—Here’s one more item for you with a golf joke on it, Jolly Person Who Plays Golf!—presents are aspirational: Here’s someth...
Dying Is Easy, Making Famous Politicians Seem Funny Is Hard
Disclaimer: Any assumption that the political jokes contained in this article are funny will lead to disappointment....
David Moyes Remains The Saddest Man In Sports
Poor David Moyes. A few short years after leaving his post as longtime Everton manager, Moyes has since flailed in his lone year as Sir Alex Ferguson’s successor at Manchester United, stuck for an even shorter duration at Real Sociedad, and has finally washed ashore at Sunderland. His squad currentl...