David Moyes Remains The Saddest Man In Sports

Poor David Moyes. A few short years after leaving his post as longtime Everton manager, Moyes has since flailed in his lone year as Sir Alex Ferguson’s successor at Manchester United, stuck for an even shorter duration at Real Sociedad, and has finally washed ashore at Sunderland. His squad currently sits at the bottom of the EPL table, with just two points from 10 games.

They’ve scored just seven goals all year and they play with the verve of a shopping bag full of dog turds. Sunderland are already eight points deep into the relegation zone just a quarter of the way into the season. That’s good for the worst start in Premier League history. After his side got whooped by Arsenal this weekend, he spoke to reporters and sounded like the most melancholy man on the British Isles (emphasis ours):

“It’s damning, I agree,” Moyes added. “It does make me feel lousy, and I do. I don’t feel good about it but you’ve got to take it. I probably spend Saturday night, and quite often, in a darkened room somewhere.

“Sunday gets a wee bit better, but not much, and hopefully by the time Monday morning comes, you are ready to go again.

Someone please give David Moyes a hug.