life Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dipshits Who Allegedly Burglarized DeMarcus Ware's House Caught On Security Camera
Broncos linebacker DeMarcus Ware returned home from Monday night’s game against the Houston Texans to discover that his house had been burglarized. Ware was understandably upset, but was also comforted by the fact that his house was equipped with hidden cameras....
Youth Football Coach Lets Adult Play In Game, Gets Fired
The Rhode Island Pre-Teen Football League kicked out one of its teams after the coach reportedly allowed an adult to play in a game this weekend....
This Testy Poker Hand Is Excruciating To Watch<em></em>
Okay so you’ve got two weird poker guys here, which is not surprising because this is the main event of the World Series of Poker and all poker guys are weird. One poker guy, Will Kassouf, spends what feels like hours trying to goad the other poker guy, Griffin Benger, into tipping his hand. Kassouf...
Report: LSU Student Barfed On Other Fans, Kicked Police, Had To Be Carried Out Of Stands
An LSU student allegedly threw up on other fans, kicked a police officer, and needed to be carried out of stands during Saturday’s football game, according to an affidavit of probable cause acquired by WAFB....
Things Take Too Long Now
I am fed up with things taking so damn long. Everything takes too long! Hurry it up for chrissakes....
Tiger Woods Still Too Old And Fucked Up To Play Golf
Tiger Woods hasn’t played a meaningful round of golf since August of 2015, and that’s mostly due to the fact that his body is old and broken. Woods’s camp has repeatedly insisted that the former best golfer alive will return to the course, but all attempts to prove he is in playing shape have so far...
Enner Valencia Fakes Injury To Escape Police In Ambulance And Avoid Child Support Arrest
Everton striker and Ecuador star Enner Valencia returned to his homeland for a World Cup qualifier against Chile, where he managed to escape a series of encounters with Ecuador’s finest and avoid arrest for unpaid child support. ...
Here Are The Best And Most Ridiculous Evil Clown Safety Alerts
At this point, “creepy clowns” have been spotted in over a dozen cities, and at least one has supposedly lightly scratched a young boy. Whether or not we’re ready to admit it, our days of being able to walk down the street dressed as an evil jester with a chainsaw are over. Clown Purge has arrived. ...
Joe Buck's Addiction To Hair-Plug Treatments Almost Ended His Career
Well, there’s a headline I never really expected to write....
This Is The Pinnacle Of Human Rage
What’s the maddest you’ve ever been? Have you ever been angrier than this guy? Trick question; that’s impossible....
Yankees Fan Proposes Live On Scoreboard, Loses Ring
Here’s a tip for you: If you’re going to do the extremely performative move of proposing to your spouse live on a jumbotron at a sporting event, don’t lose the ring!...
You Are A Fact Checker
First of all, shut the fuck up, James Taranto....
Here's An Eagles Fan Wearing A Trump Mask Getting Hit In The Face With An Amoroso Roll
There really isn’t anything else to write. Enjoy the perfect timing in this slice of today’s Steelers-Eagles tailgate....
Don't Have Opinions About Other People's Underwear
Are your underwear emitting an odor of feces or stale urine or stagnant crotch-and-ass sweat that I can smell from a normal, respectful distance? Are you wearing some form of outer garment between your underwear and the outside world? Are you someone with whose underwear I may interact directly in t...
Rutgers Student Tailgate Shut Down After AD Chugs A Beer On Stage
That man you see above you there is Rutgers Athletic Director Pat Hobbs, indulging in a cold one at the official Rutgers student tailgate before the school’s game against New Mexico on Saturday. Rutgers opened up a student tailgate zone this season to try and boost attendance, but after two games, t...
Food Blogger Apparently Sold Soul To Devil
Just like me and you, Mimi Thorisson is a food blogger. So why is her life so fucking crazy?...
Oklahoma State Student Paper Demands CMU Give Back Hail-And-Lateral Victory
The editorial staff of Oklahoma State’s student newspaper, The O’Colly, is NOT happy about Central Michigan’s Hail Mary Lateral play this past Saturday, which was one of the greatest college football plays of all time but which also technically shouldn’t have been allowed by officials....
The Idiot Teen On The Field At <i>MNF</i> Wrote His Number On His Chest, So We Called Him
The most exciting rushing attempt in last night’s late Monday Night Football game did not come from the two butt teams playing, but from an Idiot On The Field who was left to run wild for well over a minute, making him the subject of a historically glorious radio call before he was tackled to the tu...
Bask In The Aura Of This Tattooed Iowa Football Fan
This is Cory Brown. He is a fan of Iowa Hawkeyes football, and has Kirk Ferentz’s face tattooed on his calf....
![Popular Soccer Stats Twitter Account Tweets A Butthole Instead Of Soccer Stats [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/fwybfmj9zzurqgz3nqgu.jpg)
Popular Soccer Stats Twitter Account Tweets A Butthole Instead Of Soccer Stats [NSFW]
Squawka is a very popular soccer statistics website, boasting some 370K Facebook fans and 592K Twitter followers. Most readers expect geeky soccer analysis and statistical breakdowns of, say, how the Bayern Munich midfield passed to each other. What they didn’t expect was an extreme close up of a bu...