life Page 28 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bed-And-Breakfasts Are Stupid
Many people get a certain twinkle in their eyes at the mere mention of bed-and-breakfasts. Ooh, let's take a road trip through New England and stay at bed-and-breakfasts! It'll be so cozy and romantic! This is a baffling and inexplicable notion. Bed-and-breakfasts are miserable and stupid....
Sad Alabama Fan Shits Into Sidewalk Plant (NSFW)
The Sugar Bowl is underway, and plenty of Bama fans have made the drive down to New Orleans, like this lady, who is shitting (we think—that two-point stance is a poopin' stance; at the very least she's pissing in there) into a sidewalk planter. Photo after the jump. ...
Phuc Kieu Freed
Back in November, Gainesville, Fla., police alleged that a man named Phuc Kieu had tried to rape and rob a man. What we didn't know until now is that a few days later, cops discovered that the accuser made up the whole story....
Drunk-As-Hell Falcons Fan Twerks To U2, Talks Some Wonderful Shit
If there's one lesson we've learned this NFL season (we learn it every season, really), it's that football stadiums are the place to be if you really want to peer into the dark, drunken heart of humanity. So I am thankful for this Falcons fan, who instead of sending us off with yet another video of ...
How To Cook Lobster Tails, If You Don't Have A Butler To Do It For You
This column was originally published on January 26th, 2013....
<i>SportsCenter</i> References Guy Who Drove To Temecula To Fight A Kobe Hater
@SnottieDrippen and @MyTweetsRealAF, the two guys who almost came to blows over a Twitter argument about Kobe Bryant, have really made it. ...
Twitter User Makes 35-Minute Drive To Fight Kobe Hater
If you thought Christmas was about peace on earth and goodwill towards men, you thought wrong. Today, we learned that Christmas is actually about making a 35-minute drive to Temecula, Calif., because some chump who was hating on Kobe Bryant on Twitter needs to catch the hands....
Voicemail: Furious Fantasy Owner Threatens To Come Get His Money Back
If you've played fantasy football for long enough, you'll see nothing strange over a vetoed trade leading to one owner threatening to come over and beat up the league treasurer....
How To Make Eggnog, The Festive Holiday Booze-Shake
In the abstract, the notion that some people don't want to drink eggnog makes sense: diabetics, say, or the lactose-intolerant or egg-allergic, or those principled self-denying oddballs who prefer not to replace their entire body mass gradually with dietary fat and cholesterol until they resemble ...
<i>Serial</i> Sucked And Wasted Everyone's Time
What do I know after listening to every episode of Serial? Nothing. I know absolutely nothing, except that it wasted my damn time, and I really hate it when that happens. Did you know sometimes we send people to prison on flimsy evidence? Did you know investigators can manipulate a witness narrative...
Dumb-As-Hell Hip-Hop-Themed Restaurant Menu Wasn't The Hottest Idea
"Thug rice," man. "Thug rice." They literally dyed some rice black and called it "thug rice."...
Darko Milicic's First Kickboxing Match Came To A Gross End
NBA bust and actual crazy person Darko Milicic is a kickboxer now, and that sentence is less weird to type out than it probably should be. He just had his first official fight, and it did not go so well....
2014 Was A Banner Year For Food Spills On Highways
Early this morning, a cargo truck overturned on a Detroit highway, scattering boxes of frozen chicken wings across the asphalt, capping off what has been a remarkable year for highway-spill enthusiasts. Let us now stroll down food-spill memory lane. Watch your footing, it might be slippery....
Hey, Let That Fake Investor Teen Live
Let’s begin by stipulating that Mohammed Islam, the Queens teen who lied about making dozens of millions of dollars via after-school financial investments, probably is a dingus. He is a teen boy. It’s a safe assumption. He is also, in his way, a hero....
Man Picks The Wrong Damn Door To Shoot
The NYPD is asking for help identifying a man who shot the hell out of a door in a Bed-Stuy apartment building last month. As you can see in the security footage above, the whole door-shooting thing didn't work out so well for this guy....
The Piggyback Bandit Has Found A New Stomping Ground
Newer readers, or those with faulty memories, may have forgotten about Sherwin Shayegan, better known as The Piggyback Bandit. Let us remind you. ...
Fans Were Just As Drunk And Stupid In 1941 As They Are Today
This newspaper clipping, from the January 2, 1941 issue of The Bend Bulletin, is a welcome reminder that football fans have always been drunk and dumb....
How To Sear Some White Fish, Now That You "Care" About Your "Health"
A recurring rite of adulthood, for the harried and haggard and sad, is feeling ugh so terrible all the time, I'm like a sweaty, gross walrus, it hurts when I do things and my chest makes sounds like a dehumidifier, bluhhhhhh, and making a half-assed resolution to start doin' the right things, damm...
Bad Man Employs A Damn McChicken Sandwich As A Tool Of Spousal Abuse
A Des Moines man is in jail today, after he assaulted his pregnant wife with a goddamn McChicken sandwich. And not by feeding it to her! By throwing it at her and smashing it into her face. That's way worse!...