life Page 33 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
U.S. Rep Mistakes American Officials For Foreigners; Awkwardness Reigns
The Cable at Foreign Policy has documented the collapse of the American government. In a congressional hearing on Thursday, Rep. Curt Clawson of the 19th District of Florida, mistook two senior American officials, Nisha Biswal and Arun Kumar, for representatives from the Indian government, and repea...
Naked Burger Thieves On The Lam In Florida Beach Town
Listen. Sometimes it's 3:06 in the morning, you and a couple of your buddies are wandering around a beach town in various states of undress, and suddenly you have need of 60 hamburgers, three pounds of bacon, three red peppers, and, uh, a paddleboard. Immediately! And the grocery stores are cl...
How To Ditch The Pillsbury Dough-Log And Make Your Own Cookies
Ah, the chocolate-chip cookie. Many a confectionery addiction kicked off the moment an impressionable youngster watched a vulgar blue puppet shovel platefuls of these things into his gaping, vacant mouth-hole. This obsession probably also explains why the Sexy Cookie Monster costume exists. (Relate...
How To Grill Vegetables, And Make The Most Of Those Hot Coals
Albert Burneko is off. Your guest Foodspinner is friend of the program and Drynuary evangelist John Ore....
Idiot On The Field Evades Police, Gets Gerardo Parra Selfie
It was only a matter of time before these things started becoming regular. Here's your latest Idiot On The Field to use the opportunity for selfie-taking, tonight in Phoenix. ...
The Day the Fairytale Died
The business of writing obituaries may seem, at first glance, a morbid affair. Just think of the title of Gay Talese's 1966 Esquire profile of the New York Timesobituary writer Alden Whitman: "Mr. Bad News." But obituary writing is far from depressing and some of the best non-fiction writing of the ...
Here Is The Worst Lede About Chicago Gun Violence. We Tried To Top It.
Cal Thomas, a syndicated columnist who is employed by Tribune Media, recently wrote about the ongoing gun violence in Chicago. This is how the article begins, complete with typo:...
Minor League Baseball Fan Tries To Fight Opposing Pitcher After HBP
It got hot in the Texas League last night as a fan of the AA Corpus Christi Hooks charged the mound to attack Midland RockHounds pitcher Blake Hassebrock in the fifth inning....
Guy Doesn't Pay World Cup Pool Entry Fee, Tries To Claim Prize Anyway
There are rules we must all adhere to in order to maintain a functional society. Foremost among them is this: If you enter a fantasy league/pick 'em group/tournament pool, you must pay up before it starts, or at the very least promise to pay at the next available opportunity, or you do not get to cl...
We Have Another Minnesota Twins Back-Hair Jersey
It's hard to say if it's the same guy who sported the Joe Mauer hir-suit a few years back, but we have a few clues. Our first clue is: a dude with enough hair to legibly shave words and numbers into his back hair. Our second clue is: similar male pattern baldness on both men. Our third clue is: a wi...
How To Make Seafood Paella, Whether It's Traditional Or Not
Picture the scene! An early summer evening in Valencia, Spain, in the mid-19th century; an aromatic open fire of orange and pine branches, and pine cones, crackles happily in an orchard clearing. A wide, flat pan, enormous, two feet across, sits suspended over the flames. The men, their olde-thy...
Harper Lee: Roll Tide!
Harper Lee, author of one of the most popular American novels ever written, was famous for not granting interviews. But Marja Mills, a former reporter and feature writer for the Chicago Tribune, became friendly with Lee and her sister, Alice Finch Lee, and was permitted to write about them. Mills's ...
Sexologists Masters And Johnson Were Cardinals Fans. Duh.
"Particularly for young people," Thomas Maier noted in a recent essay, "unaware of Masters and Johnson, it's difficult to appreciate how much has changed between the mid-'60s and today. But at the time they were becoming famous, the couples' graphs, charts and photos of human sexual response—learnin...
Alleged Murderer Has Cardinals And White Sox Logos Among His Face Tats
This Chicago man has been arrested and charged with murder after allegedly shooting and killing a man over the 4th of July weekend. Aside from being the kind of guy who allegedly shoots people and gets "Fuck The World" tattooed on his forehead, he also appears to be a fan of both the St. Louis Cardi...
Yankees Fan Caught Sleeping In Stands Sues Everyone For Defamation
The man in the screencap above, taken from ESPN's April 13 broadcast of a game between the Red Sox and Yankees, is a deeply sensitive man who does not understand how the internet works. We know this because he has filed a defamation lawsuit against ESPN, John Kruk, Dan Shulman, and MLB Advanced Me...
How To Make Macaroni Salad, The Very Least You Can Do
"Hey guys, we're having a [variety of outdoor cookout-y shindig] on [date] at [place], and we'd love for you to come! We'll have beer and [variety of greasy meat], and [dude] has agreed to whip up a batch of his famous [really fatty and gross but also kind of delicious side, probably with little ...
The Reason Koreans Threw Toffees At Their Soccer Team Is Hilarious
South Korea had a mostly shit World Cup, drawing once and losing twice and looking haggard throughout. So when they arrived home this Sunday, BBC explains, "angry fans threw handfuls of sweets at them, which is considered an insult in the country." BBC does not explain that the candies look like dic...
If Ted Kluszewski's Guns Could Speak . . .
Theodore Bernard "Big Klu" Kluszewski played in the majors for two decades, more than half of those years with the Reds. He was big — well over 6 feet and around 230 pounds, give or take — and he was strong. Like, Harmon Killebrew meets Joe Adcock by way of Josh Gibson strong. He wasn't Hall of Fame...
Saying Goodbye To Roger Ebert: <em>Life Itself</em>, Reviewed
When Roger Ebert died on April 4, 2013, it felt like a death in the family, not only because I'm a film critic, but because he and Gene Siskel are a huge part of the reason why. The different incarnations of their Siskel & Ebert show were instrumental in my upbringing, driving home the idea that ...
Topless Woman Crashes News Report At Pride Festival
CityNews reporter Natalie Duddridge had one hell of a day at the office yesterday. It began with a Brazilian soccer fan bringing the "fuck her right in the pussy" fake news blooper to life, and it ended with a very happy/drunk World Pride attendee shaking her boobs right at the camera during a live ...