life Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Please Stop Glorifying Crummy Dive Bars
I live in Massachusetts, which is a proud but anxious state with liberal policies regarding who can get married or call his roast beef famous and very conservative rules concerning most other types of personal behavior. For example, it's a lot harder than you'd think to get a drink around here....
The Art Of The Insult: How To Win A Swearing Contest With Dignity
A few years ago, Joe Posnanski—formerly a Kansas City sportswriter, and today famous as a JoePa apologist—interviewed me about one of my books and posted my answers on his blog. He asked me whether, if I'd become a major league pitcher, I still would have become a writer. I emailed, "No. I would hav...
Delusional Rec-League Softball Coach Has 11 Insane Questions For You
Reader Jon almost joined a rec softball league "run by the world's biggest asshole." Let's have a look at Coach Dave's questionnaire for all incoming recruits, shall we?...
Which KNBR Employee Is Downloading Huge Amounts Of Porn At Work?
A tipster just sent us a picture of the above sign, which was recently posted in the KNBR sports radio studio in San Francisco. That's the same radio station that employs Damon Bruce, and is essentially the west coast's answer to WEEI. So, really, it's not all that surprising that such a warning nee...
Angry Dad Is Very Upset About How Local Swim Team Is Being Run
Everyone knows that hockey dads and football dads and lacrosse dads are crazy, but did you know that swimming dads can be just as nuts? They can! A tipster just forwarded us the following email, which was sent by one angry parent to the other members of his kid's swim team board (names have been red...
How To Cook Sea Scallops Without Ruining Them: The Case Against Bacon
Step one is hiring a sinister shifty-eyed fellow with a pencil mustache to remove the bacon from your refrigerator and hide it somewhere in your home where you cannot find it. OK, so he does not have to have a pencil mustache. But it will be awesomer if he does....
And Now, A Scene From A Rays Spring Training Game
There's a lot going on in this picture, but don't let this man's back-of-the-neck fat escape your attention. That's some fantastic back-of-the-neck fat....
24 Light Beers, Ranked
Raise your hand if you're even fatter now than you were on New Year's Day. No, your other hand, the one that isn't strangling a donut. Oh, I see. Well, do you have a third hand? Never mind, the tear tracks carved through your powdered-sugar beard are affirmation enough....
HS Coach Gets Ethered By Girlfriend On FB, Resigns Amid Investigation
On Monday, a woman living in Bowling Green, Ky., used her Facebook page to unleash one of the coldest, boyfriend-crushingest Dear John letters you'll ever read. I've bolded the brutal parts:...
Kazan: An Appreciation
A few years ago there was a nice appreciation of Elia Kazan by John Lahr over at The New Yorker:...
How To Make Chocolate Pudding, Grown-Up Food For Grownups
Albert Burneko is off. Your guest Foodspinner this week is longtime friend of the program Miserable Shitehawk....
One Weird Old Trick To Remove White Water Stains From Wood
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....
How To Prevent Your Spine From Turning To Mush
Hey, you! Mr. Spry Twenty-Five-Year-Old! Feeling pretty limber these days, eh? Going out and CRUSHING beers and playing campus golf and bending over to pick up entire crates of taco meat. Life's pretty swell for you! Well, I have fun news for you, sport. PAIN IS COMING. So much pain. One day...
Police: Woman Hit Fiance With Dale Jr. Beer Bottle, Tried To Frame Him
A South Carolina woman was arrested on Valentine's Day after she allegedly hit her fiance with a large beer bottle, then claimed it was self-defense....
How To Make A Simple Goddamn Grilled-Cheese Sandwich
Everywhere we are gussying up our grilled-cheese sandwiches. In fancy restaurants and home kitchens and delicatessens and those insufferable quasi-fast-food joints with the accented, ambiguously Euro names and the friggin' Ray LaMontagne music on the PA and the cutesy, bottled alterna-soda in the co...
Buster Keaton: Hero
When I was sixteen the Regency Theater on the Upper West Side ran a Buster Keaton-Charlie Chaplin-Woody Allen revival for a few months. That was my introduction to Buster and it was love at first sight. I adore Chaplin too but Buster speaks to me in a more direct, personal way....
Help! My Girlfriend's Hair Is Everywhere!
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....
Some Media Members Are Too Warm At The First Cold-Weather Super Bowl
Remember when Super Bowl Tuesday was floated as an emergency response to any potential Sabbath-day snowstorms of death? The snow panic turned out to be for naught. It's actually quite nice out—apparently a little too warm for some of the media present....
You're Eating It Wrong: Chicken Wings
Yesterday we taught you how to make wings for your Super Bowl party, but now the big day is here, and, holy shit, how do I eat these things? The answer: Not how you've been doing it, weirdo!...