life Page 50 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Deep-Fry Soft-Shell Crabs (Yes, Dammit, Deep-Fry Them)
Deep-frying is bullshit. It's messy and labor-intensive and user-unfriendly. It requires a ton of oil, most of which will be wasted, plus—most of the time anyway—dumb annoying messy crap like egg wash and flour and breadcrumbs. In its worst, most diabolical incarnations, it even requires friggin...
This HOA President Takes His Job Way Too Seriously
Members of the Westwind Home Owners Association recently received an email—which was forwarded to us by a helpful tipster—from their organization's president, who has had it up to here with people not cleaning up after dogs who poop in the neighborhood. But don't worry, this HOA president has a fool...
Picture This: Do the Bucs Stop Here?
This summer in Pittsburgh, the Pirates are messing with peoples' hearts again. After countless seasons of sub-.500 finishes, occasional spurts of excellence followed by long stretches of crappy play and, saints preserve us, a decades-long slog of mediocrity unmatched in the majors since ... well, ev...
Panama Beats Mexico In Gold Cup; Match Produces Idiots On The Field
While tonight's Gold Cup match at the Rose Bowl between Panama and Mexico didn't produce large-scale riots like the recent exhibition in Las Vegas between Liga MX sides Club America and Chivas del Guadalajara, the end result was the same: Idiots and garbage on the field....
Real Life Is Not An Episode Of <em>The Biggest Loser</em>
It is so goddamned humid; I hate everything. Playlist. Let's go....
Remembering Miss America When America Was American
Beauty pageants are marvelous entertainments, except when they're profoundly offensive, cringe-inducingly awful displays of objectification and spooky double-sided tape mojo. But why quibble? Can't they be both? Can't we simply enjoy the spectacle, especially if we're gazing back at it through the s...
“Hey Ungrateful Quitter": Emails From An Angry Lacrosse Coach
Consider this your latest reminder that lacrosse is the worst. What follows is an email exchange, forwarded to us by a tipster, that took place between an angry lacrosse coach, one of his players, and that player's parents. It begins with the player telling his coach that he won't be able to attend ...
Rec League Softball Player Writes Inspirational Poem For His Team
Here's a rec league email that is a departure from the overwrought screeds we are accustomed to receiving. This softball player decided to send his teammates a motivational email the morning after a tough loss, but instead of chiding them for their lack of hustle or giving a strategic dissertation, ...
Picture This: Little Leaguers Want Their Pants
Most everyone who has ever played a sport — even those of us who never played at a level beyond, say, high school basketball, football, baseball, soccer — most of us can recall at least one time, before a game, when everything just felt right. Maybe there was something in the air, or there was a loo...
Quit Being So Lazy And Just Do <em>Something</em>
In this week's episode of Recovering Fatass Soundtrack, watch a man go from clapping himself on the back for merely writing down a weak-ass running schedule to signing up for another race, in little over 2,000 words. Here's the Spotify list that gets you there. ...
How To Make Kebabs, Because You Like To Stab Things And Play With Fire
You dusted off your crummy charcoal grill way back in April, and by now, through all the contrived family gatherings that are really just flimsy pretexts for playing with fire, you've already run through your basic repertoire of grilled foods: chicken thighs and chicken breasts and steak and lobste...
Is This The First Vine Made In The Act By An Idiot On The Field?
Probably! Here's an Idiot making her way onto the field at the College World Series, complete with a cameo by an angry cop!...
Little League Coach Melts Down; Parent Urges Therapy And Medication
A tipster passed along this email exchange from a recent little league dispute that is just a wonderful example of how stupid and petty and irrational children can be. These kids, especially whichever little tyke wrote the scathing reply, have got some real 50-cent words in their back pockets, too. ...
Finding The Positive In Concrete Marked With Your Ass-Sweat
Summer is technically here and that means being outdoors is to be officially avoided if you are a large, sweaty person. It was another week of split time between the treadmill and trail running, but I'm preparing myself for the reality of a completely treadmill-based existence for the next three mo...
Two Ways To Make Alfredo Sauce So Rich It'll Stop Your Heart
So you've decided to end your life, or at least the segment of your life during which you could walk from here to there without your chest making sounds like a whirring blender full of silverware. Because that is the only conceivable reason why you would choose to make Alfredo sauce, which, scientif...
CWS Fan Flips Off ESPN Camera, Then Gets Karate Chopped In The Face
While the world was watching LeBron & Co. repeat as NBA champions, there was another championship at stake on another Disney/ABC network: a College World Series elimination game between in-state rivals UNC and North Carolina State. Not everyone attending that game in Omaha, it seems, went home happ...