lockout-with-your-cock-out Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Website For NBA Players Association Now Reads "Error 404: Basketball Not Found"
Of course, it's not representative of a real computer error; just a human failure to make a labor agreement that would provide professional basketball to a fan base that is growing more and more impatient and resigned to the fact that we may, very well, be without a season this year. Thus:...
NBA Talks Break Off; Players Will Disband Union; Everything Is Awful
Billy Hunter says the players have rejected the league's latest offer, which he called "extremely unfair," and says the association is "prepared to file antitrust action against the NBA." They're also beginning the process of disbanding the union. From Yahoo's Adrian Wojnarowski [sic'd]: "The chance...
Lockout Latest: Amar'e And Carmelo Make Adorable <i>Sesame Street</i> Appearance
Not everything that happens during the NBA lockout is bad: Delonte West makes his job applications public, Delonte West makes his broken-down Ford Bronco public, Chris Paul goes on Family Feud, and—provided that they cover up the Adidas logo on their shirts—Carmelo Anthony and Amar'e Stoudemire ge...
Derek Fisher's Broken Mic Means He Can't Tell You That Nothing Happened In NBA Negotiations
Elsewhere in the vast world of sports this evening, the NBA lockout negotiations once again came to a slow, painful halt after close to 12 hours of meetings. Once union president Derek Fisher got his microphone working, he had this to say:...
LeBron Dunks, Mean Mugs, Refuses Lady's High-Five
LeBron played in Rudy Gay's charity all-star game just outside of Memphis last night. He scored 43 points and, as he tends to do, made no new friends at the DeSoto Civic Center in Southaven, Miss. There might be a lockout underway, but worry not, heathens: Together, we will still find ways to mock...
Bill Clinton Cameoed At Today's Fruitless Lockout Negotiations
Let's take a brief respite from Penn State-related news to check in on the second-most miserable topic in today's sports coverage: the NBA lockout! If you've been following even from afar lately, you probably know that Bobcats owner Michael Jordan ruffled some feathers last week when he emerged as...
Stephon Marbury Has An Opinion About Michael Jordan And The Lockout That Makes Perfect Sense
Michael Jordan has taken a lot of grief since he emerged, in a twist that should surprise nobody, as the leader of a group of hard-ass NBA owners knifing away at the revenue pie. Now he's taking grief from whatever fun-house PC bang Stephon Marbury has decamped to these days. I'll leave the parsing ...
David Stern Issues Late-Night Ultimatum; NBA Players Set To Reject Latest Proposal
NBA players and owners negotiated well into last night and only stopped when Commissioner David Stern got pissed and issued an ultimatum after the players rejected the latest proposal....
Michael Jordan The Player Would've Hated Michael Jordan The Hardline Owner
Over at SB Nation, Tom Ziller has compiled some of Michael Jordan's contradictory views on the NBA lockout. In a meeting during the '98 lockout, for example, Jordan the player told Wizards owner Abe Pollin, "If you can't make it work economically, you should sell the team." Ziller points out that in...
This Evening: Instead Of The Start Of The NBA Season, There's Chris Paul On <em>Family Feud</em>
Your p.m. roundup for Nov. 1, the day we HOLY SHIT STILETTO IMPLANTS. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
NBPA Economist Kevin Murphy Provides Some Intellectual Capital On The Lockout
NBA.com has published an interview with Kevin Murphy, the noted genius and economist who's been working with the Players' Assocation since June. This is the first time the University of Chicago professor has talked publicly since the lockout began. Go read it to gain some bonafide intellectual capit...
Danny Granger Is Confused By His Admirers
Lockout times are lean times, y'all. NBA players aren't flush with cash like they normally are. They're not the catches they would otherwise be. Who wants 'em anymore? (Not Kim Kardashian.)...
Sherri Shepherd And Elisabeth Hasselbeck Unite To Protest The NBA Lockout On <i>The View</i>
Sherri Shepherd and Elisabeth Hasselbeck have been staging an on-air protest against the NBA lockout for the past week or so. How did we miss this? Perhaps because we are more familiar with Saturday Night Live's version of The View than we are with the actual The View....
The Monster.com For Locked-Out Basketball Players
Lots of hoopsters will spend the lockout overseas—we told you about six-foot-nine human cannoli Brian Scalabrine, who is wrecking the Italian league, and Nets guard Deron Williams, who'll be hanging in Turkey. But there are others who don't have the immediate name recognition of Scal and Deron, and ...
Rajon Rondo Delivers The Realest Analysis Of The NBA Lockout Yet
"It's just boring." [Kentucky Kernel]...
Brian Scalabrine Is His Team's Second-Leading Scorer In Italy
Brian Scalabrine is one of those NBA players that we all delight in calling a "role player," even if his role was never particularly valuable. In Boston, his role was to occasionally come in to fall on a loose ball and get praised for his hustle, but mostly it was to delight all of the white kids ...
Brandon Jennings Needs A Refresher In Oblate Spheroids And Lockout Logic
If there was one thing that my high school science teachers taught me, it was that I should immediately lose any delusions about ever becoming a doctor, or doing anything related to memorization or numbers or earth science ever—and I thank them for that. But I think somewhere along the way, I did le...
Michael Beasley's Lockout Image Rehab Includes Ballet Lessons
Michael Beasley is one of the few NBA players who might actually manage to be more interesting when he's not playing professional basketball. Since the NBA lockout began, he's been cited for speeding and for marijuana possession, and he "mushed" a heckler during a game at Dyckman Park in August. Thi...
The NBA Keeps Lying About Competitive Balance
If there's one thing to know about management's position in the lockout, it's this: The competitive balance issue isn't about competitive balance. It's about extracting money from the players' pockets and giving it to the owners. Remember that. Cross-stich it onto a decorative throw pillow. Print it...
Idiot Utah Sports Columnist More Or Less Calls Amar'e Stoudemire A Dumb Negro
Doug Robinson, the resident paste-eating troglodyte at the Deseret News, has gone and written a truly remarkable column this week....