lol Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Manchester United Score Late Winner, José Mourinho Freaks The Fuck Out

José Mourinho fancies himself something of a rock star, so it was fitting when he reacted to Marouane Fellaini rescuing Manchester United with a late winner by treating a couple water bottle carriers like a guitar and kick drum at the end of a metal show....

A Roundup Of Jets Fans Looking Like Hostages

Year 4 of the Mike Maccagnan-Todd Bowles era has finally hit rock bottom. Sunday, the Jets hosted the 2-7 Bills, who were reduced to starting Matt Barkley, a fourth-string quarterback who wasn’t even on an NFL roster until Halloween. Oh, and Buffalo came in with the worst offense in DVOA history. Th...

The Jets Defense Somehow Made Matt Barkley Look Competent

Before today, every Bills quarterback who had played in a game this season was either injured or deeply flummoxed by the game of football, so Buffalo’s had to dig deep into the scrap heap to find new guys to trot out. Fishing around with a rubber-gloved hand a few weeks back, they eventually grabbed...

David Fizdale Doesn't Want To Be Tempted By Visions Of A Healthy Kristaps Porzingis

As the Knicks head coach, David Fizdale has been a blessing. He’s gotten creative with his lineups; he’s giving the youth plenty of burn; and he’s not trying to win now with the likes of Lance Thomas and Enes Kanter. He’s taking the long view. So long is his view that Fizdale is not even willing to ...

Nine Months After ACL Surgery, Kristaps Porzingis Still Can't Run [Update]

New York Knicks coach David Fizdale provided a very bleak update today about the status of team centerpiece Kristaps Porzingis, who hasn’t played since he tore his ACL in a game against the Bucks on Feb. 6 last season. Even after nine months of recovery, Porzingis still isn’t fully able to run, and—...

Tim Tebow, Seated At The Right Hand Of His Former Agent And Current Mets GM, Will Rise Again To Triple-A

New York Mets minor leaguer Tim Tebow will ascend to Triple-A baseball in Syracuse in 2019, according to the new Mets GM Brodie Van Wagenen, who was also Tebow’s agent up until last week when he took the Mets job, the Associated Press reports....

Someone Left A Poo At The Bills Game [Update]

The turd was there before the Bills game even started. “This sums up the season pretty well,” says Tim, the Buffalo fan who sent us this photo. Tim says he got to his seats about a half-hour before kickoff, only to discover a piece of shit in the row in front of him....

Bart Scott Rips Todd Bowles As Jets Combust

Nothing sours a locker room like a stout defense coming to resent the offense for being unable to score. It happened in Seattle, it happened in Jacksonville, and it is happening on the Jets. Following an unwatchable 13-6 loss to the Dolphins, left tackle Kelvin Beachum, unprompted, kicked off his po...

Baseball's Weirdest Team Makes A Weird GM Hire, But Maybe A Smart One Too

The Mets being the Mets and Mets fans being Mets fans, each of the team’s three GM finalists had a specific gripe attached to them before the team announced on Monday evening that it would be hiring CAA agent Brodie Van Wagenen. If this seems like a bit much, it’s because of the Kremlinology that’s ...

The IOC's Pro-Olympics Propaganda Video Is As Shameless As It Gets

You want to see some shit? Here’s some shit, courtesy of the International Olympic Committee:...

Report: Eli Manning Is Losing The Giants' Locker Room

By picking running back Saquon Barkley second overall in what was a quarterback-rich draft class, the Giants let it be known they were all-in this year on Eli Manning, who will turn 38 in January. It’s been seven years since the Giants last won a Super Bowl, and they’ve made the playoffs just once i...

Marcus Maye Would Have Had A Pick-Six, But He Ran Out Of Gas<em></em>

Jets safety Marcus Maye ended Sunday’s win against the Broncos with an interception and a loooooong return on the game’s final play. He somehow didn’t score....

It's A Chargers Home Game

Ron Baker Sucked A Contact Lens And Then Put It Right In His Damn Eye<em></em>

Ron Baker played 17 mostly second-half minutes in Monday night’s Knicks preseason game, which went to overtime. It was in overtime, with just under a minute left, when Baker was whacked in the face by Wizards rookie Troy Brown and had his contact lens dislodged. Lacking a few drops of nice clean sal...

Todd Bowles Hates Risk, Loves Meaningless Field Goals And Punts<em></em>

Was it really only three weeks ago that the Jets thumped the Lions on Monday Night Football? Did that win, which ushered in that unfamiliar sensation of honest-to-goodness hope, actually happen this season? The Jets haven’t won since, and Sunday’s 31-12 loss at the Jaguars was a total fartbomb that ...

Paul Pogba And José Mourinho's Relationship Is Rapidly Deteriorating

When last we updated you on the fraught situation between Manchester United manager José Mourinho and his star player Paul Pogba, the two parties were slamming their team’s performance this weekend and low-key (or in Pogba’s case, explicitly) blaming one another for the loss. In just a few short day...

The Mets Are Somehow Screwing Up David Wright's Farewell

Ask a group of Mets fans what they want and you will get a variety of different answers. Some, maybe many, will say “hard drugs, the hardest you’ve got” and others will start talking about signing Manny Machado before trailing off and just staring into the middle distance. Bring the focus in some w...

Mourinho And Pogba Agree That Manchester United Suck, But Disagree On Who Is To Blame

If there’s good news to come from Manchester United’s home draw against newly promoted Wolverhampton on Saturday, it’s that José Mourinho and Paul Pogba agree on what the problem is. If there’s bad news to come from that good news, it’s that Mourinho and Pogba more or less think it’s the other one’s...

Soccer Man's Goal Celebration Takes Surprise Detour Into The Twilight Zone

Meet Benjamin Kololli, a 26-year-old soccer player currently plying his trade in Switzerland. Kololli was in Cyprus yesterday, with his squad FC Zürich playing a big match against AEK Larnaca. Kololli is an important player, so he would not have been shocked to have been placed smack dab in the midd...

The Fake Ban On Russia's State-Run Doping System Is Over

In 2015, the World Anti-Doping Agency suspended Russia’s national anti-doping agency in the face of overwhelming evidence that the government was running a sophisticated doping operation for its top athletes. As of today—despite Russia’s failure to meet the basic conditions of its suspension, and ou...