lol Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Paulo Dybala Learns What It's Like To Play With Cristiano Ronaldo

Here is what would’ve been Paulo Dybala’s equalizing wondergoal in the last seconds of Juventus’s 2-1 loss to Young Boys in the Champions League yesterday, if only the referee hadn’t ruled it out for Cristiano Ronaldo’s offside interference, which maybe/probably wouldn’t have been called had Ronaldo...

It Must Suck So Hard To Be A Manchester United Fan

Try, if only for a moment, to go inside the mind of a Manchester United fan....

LeBron Manages To Accidentally Torment Knicks Fans During Dwyane Wade's Farewell

LeBron James shared an NBA court for the last time with longtime buddy and former teammate Dwyane Wade last night. It was a fun and festive game that ended with Wade throwing up a crazy potential game-tying three and then hugging James right as the buzzer sounded. It also, briefly, left Knicks fans ...

Cristiano Ronaldo Is Glad He No Longer Plays With Selfish Assholes Like Cristiano Ronaldo

Cristiano Ronaldo obviously loves himself some Cristiano Ronaldo. But you know who Cristiano Ronaldo doesn’t love? Teammates who act like Cristiano Ronaldo....

The Knicks Are Patting Frank Ntilikina's Head And Telling Him To Wait Over Here While Mommy Rings The Convent Doorbell

To the surprise of not one single person on earth, a Knicks team missing Kristaps Porzingis and giving major rotation minutes to all of Tim Hardaway Jr., Mario Hezonja, and Emmanuel Mudiay sucks major ass and is losing lots of games. They’ve dropped two in a row and four of five, and they’ve got the...

Joakim Noah Will Emerge From His Crypt, Sign With The Grizzlies

Joakim Noah played 1,055 minutes for the New York Knicks, earning $72.6 million dollars for his service. Highlights from that time include: a perfect mime of his shooting form by DeMarcus Cousins, a 20-game suspension for violating the league’s anti-drug policy, serious injury woes, fights with coac...

Jets Overcome 16-0 Lead With Thrilling Come-From-Ahead Loss

For once, everything seemed to be going against the Jets....

Manchester United Score Late Winner, José Mourinho Freaks The Fuck Out

José Mourinho fancies himself something of a rock star, so it was fitting when he reacted to Marouane Fellaini rescuing Manchester United with a late winner by treating a couple water bottle carriers like a guitar and kick drum at the end of a metal show....

A Roundup Of Jets Fans Looking Like Hostages

Year 4 of the Mike Maccagnan-Todd Bowles era has finally hit rock bottom. Sunday, the Jets hosted the 2-7 Bills, who were reduced to starting Matt Barkley, a fourth-string quarterback who wasn’t even on an NFL roster until Halloween. Oh, and Buffalo came in with the worst offense in DVOA history. Th...

The Jets Defense Somehow Made Matt Barkley Look Competent

Before today, every Bills quarterback who had played in a game this season was either injured or deeply flummoxed by the game of football, so Buffalo’s had to dig deep into the scrap heap to find new guys to trot out. Fishing around with a rubber-gloved hand a few weeks back, they eventually grabbed...

David Fizdale Doesn't Want To Be Tempted By Visions Of A Healthy Kristaps Porzingis

As the Knicks head coach, David Fizdale has been a blessing. He’s gotten creative with his lineups; he’s giving the youth plenty of burn; and he’s not trying to win now with the likes of Lance Thomas and Enes Kanter. He’s taking the long view. So long is his view that Fizdale is not even willing to ...

Nine Months After ACL Surgery, Kristaps Porzingis Still Can't Run [Update]

New York Knicks coach David Fizdale provided a very bleak update today about the status of team centerpiece Kristaps Porzingis, who hasn’t played since he tore his ACL in a game against the Bucks on Feb. 6 last season. Even after nine months of recovery, Porzingis still isn’t fully able to run, and—...

Tim Tebow, Seated At The Right Hand Of His Former Agent And Current Mets GM, Will Rise Again To Triple-A

New York Mets minor leaguer Tim Tebow will ascend to Triple-A baseball in Syracuse in 2019, according to the new Mets GM Brodie Van Wagenen, who was also Tebow’s agent up until last week when he took the Mets job, the Associated Press reports....

Someone Left A Poo At The Bills Game [Update]

The turd was there before the Bills game even started. “This sums up the season pretty well,” says Tim, the Buffalo fan who sent us this photo. Tim says he got to his seats about a half-hour before kickoff, only to discover a piece of shit in the row in front of him....

Bart Scott Rips Todd Bowles As Jets Combust

Nothing sours a locker room like a stout defense coming to resent the offense for being unable to score. It happened in Seattle, it happened in Jacksonville, and it is happening on the Jets. Following an unwatchable 13-6 loss to the Dolphins, left tackle Kelvin Beachum, unprompted, kicked off his po...

Baseball's Weirdest Team Makes A Weird GM Hire, But Maybe A Smart One Too

The Mets being the Mets and Mets fans being Mets fans, each of the team’s three GM finalists had a specific gripe attached to them before the team announced on Monday evening that it would be hiring CAA agent Brodie Van Wagenen. If this seems like a bit much, it’s because of the Kremlinology that’s ...

The IOC's Pro-Olympics Propaganda Video Is As Shameless As It Gets

You want to see some shit? Here’s some shit, courtesy of the International Olympic Committee:...

Report: Eli Manning Is Losing The Giants' Locker Room

By picking running back Saquon Barkley second overall in what was a quarterback-rich draft class, the Giants let it be known they were all-in this year on Eli Manning, who will turn 38 in January. It’s been seven years since the Giants last won a Super Bowl, and they’ve made the playoffs just once i...

Marcus Maye Would Have Had A Pick-Six, But He Ran Out Of Gas<em></em>

Jets safety Marcus Maye ended Sunday’s win against the Broncos with an interception and a loooooong return on the game’s final play. He somehow didn’t score....

It's A Chargers Home Game