lol Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Adam Gase's Eyes Introduced To New York Media
The New York Jets do not have a Freddie Kitchens, who seems like he could be a delight even if he ends up sucking at his job. No, their new head coach is Adam Gase, the previously lauded offensive genius who lasted three seasons with the Dolphins before he was fired. The most notable takeaway from h...
![Enes Kanter Misses Knicks Practice And Game Due To Grotesque Burger Excess [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/jzbwvtl7jd2nqorlndvu.jpg)
Enes Kanter Misses Knicks Practice And Game Due To Grotesque Burger Excess [Update]
Enes Kanter coverage tends to fork into two categories, both of which are true to the man himself and both of which are honestly pretty confusing taken together. One is Kanter Bravely Stands Up To Authoritarian, and the other is Kanter Bungles Badly While Seeking Attention. Perhaps there’s some ove...
The Jets Failed To Clean House
Todd Bowles was doomed. That much was clear seven weeks ago, after a 41-10 home loss to the Bills, who were starting a fourth-string quarterback in another lost season of their own. The question for the Jets on this Black Monday is why general manager Mike Maccagnan got a reprieve....
Jets Deny That They'll Try To Woo Milk Fiend Jim Harbaugh
Though this isn’t as strange a rumor as Condoleezza Rice to the Browns, ProFootballTalk’s Mike Florio says a league source told him that after the season concludes, the New York Jets want to throw a buttload of money at Michigan head coach Jim Harbaugh and see if he’s interested. Huh!...
Zion Williamson Laughs And Hides His Face After Being Asked About Maybe Someday Joining The Knicks
The insanely overpowered Duke Blue Devils gave Texas Tech their first loss of the season Thursday night, at Madison Square Garden, in a refreshingly competitive 69–58 game. Among other things, this was humanoid megafauna Zion Williamson’s first career game at the home of the Knicks, and so of course...
The Knicks Are In The Freezing-And-Bloodied-And-Lying-In-Actual-Dog-Poop Stage Of Rebuilding
David Fizdale has a tough job. His Knicks are 9–24 on the season. They’ve lost three straight, they’re one of the two or three worst defensive teams in basketball, and Kristaps Porzingis is out indefinitely. A lesser coach might struggle to conjure motivational messages any more vivid than “the giga...
Devin Booker Joins Rich Tradition Of Humiliating Enes Kanter
Way back in January of last season, Devin Booker was ejected from a game after gently shoving Enes Kanter in the Suns’ 107-85 loss to the Knicks. Kanter, being as exhaustingly online as he is, made an insipid meme depicting Booker holding a large “L” right after the game....
José Mourinho's Failed Tenure At Manchester United Is Finally Over
After two-and-a-half bad and boring seasons at Manchester United, the club announced today in some euphemistic language that manager José Mourinho has been tossed out on his ass. This decision to get rid of Mourinho is both overdue and yet still surprising, which says so much about the ruinous state...
This Is How Liverpool Will Win The Premier League
Liverpool are legitimate contenders to win all the big trophies this season for the simple reason that their starting lineup is crammed full of players who are amongst the very best at their positions. Mohamed Salah, Virgil van Dijk, Alisson, Trent Alexander-Arnold, the forward line generally, the f...
Don't Get Too Hopeful About James Dolan Selling The Knicks
There’s a whole lot to chew on (and possibly also retch up) in ESPN reporter Ian O’Connor’s substantial profile of James Dolan up today. Over the course of a two-hour interview, Dolan faced good, tough questions and responded at surprising length. He also displayed his trademark sensitivity and tho...
Paulo Dybala Learns What It's Like To Play With Cristiano Ronaldo
Here is what would’ve been Paulo Dybala’s equalizing wondergoal in the last seconds of Juventus’s 2-1 loss to Young Boys in the Champions League yesterday, if only the referee hadn’t ruled it out for Cristiano Ronaldo’s offside interference, which maybe/probably wouldn’t have been called had Ronaldo...
It Must Suck So Hard To Be A Manchester United Fan
Try, if only for a moment, to go inside the mind of a Manchester United fan....
LeBron Manages To Accidentally Torment Knicks Fans During Dwyane Wade's Farewell
LeBron James shared an NBA court for the last time with longtime buddy and former teammate Dwyane Wade last night. It was a fun and festive game that ended with Wade throwing up a crazy potential game-tying three and then hugging James right as the buzzer sounded. It also, briefly, left Knicks fans ...
Cristiano Ronaldo Is Glad He No Longer Plays With Selfish Assholes Like Cristiano Ronaldo
Cristiano Ronaldo obviously loves himself some Cristiano Ronaldo. But you know who Cristiano Ronaldo doesn’t love? Teammates who act like Cristiano Ronaldo....
The Knicks Are Patting Frank Ntilikina's Head And Telling Him To Wait Over Here While Mommy Rings The Convent Doorbell
To the surprise of not one single person on earth, a Knicks team missing Kristaps Porzingis and giving major rotation minutes to all of Tim Hardaway Jr., Mario Hezonja, and Emmanuel Mudiay sucks major ass and is losing lots of games. They’ve dropped two in a row and four of five, and they’ve got the...
Joakim Noah Will Emerge From His Crypt, Sign With The Grizzlies
Joakim Noah played 1,055 minutes for the New York Knicks, earning $72.6 million dollars for his service. Highlights from that time include: a perfect mime of his shooting form by DeMarcus Cousins, a 20-game suspension for violating the league’s anti-drug policy, serious injury woes, fights with coac...
Jets Overcome 16-0 Lead With Thrilling Come-From-Ahead Loss
For once, everything seemed to be going against the Jets....
Manchester United Score Late Winner, José Mourinho Freaks The Fuck Out
José Mourinho fancies himself something of a rock star, so it was fitting when he reacted to Marouane Fellaini rescuing Manchester United with a late winner by treating a couple water bottle carriers like a guitar and kick drum at the end of a metal show....
A Roundup Of Jets Fans Looking Like Hostages
Year 4 of the Mike Maccagnan-Todd Bowles era has finally hit rock bottom. Sunday, the Jets hosted the 2-7 Bills, who were reduced to starting Matt Barkley, a fourth-string quarterback who wasn’t even on an NFL roster until Halloween. Oh, and Buffalo came in with the worst offense in DVOA history. Th...
The Jets Defense Somehow Made Matt Barkley Look Competent
Before today, every Bills quarterback who had played in a game this season was either injured or deeply flummoxed by the game of football, so Buffalo’s had to dig deep into the scrap heap to find new guys to trot out. Fishing around with a rubber-gloved hand a few weeks back, they eventually grabbed...