lol Page 28 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Are Music Festivals Really All The Same Now?
When Coachella opens its gates at the Empire Polo Club today, it sounds the bugle for Festival Season, now a live-music summer staple from coast to coast. At the time of the first Coachella in 1999, its multi-day, multi-stage format was a novelty to anyone who hadn’t trekked out to a Woodstock anniv...
Elated Idiot On The Field Expresses The World's Feelings On Real Madrid's Loss
Sometimes, when watching a sporting event that breaks exactly the way you wished for but in no way could’ve realistically expected, the only response is to cruise around the living room/bar/office you’re watching it in, arms aloft, with a big dumb grin on your face, ecstatic at your good fortune. Fo...
Reports: Phil Jackson Wants To Keep Kurt Rambis, Bring Plague And Pestilence To New York
If you have a New York Knicks fan in your life, go find them right now and give them a hug. Be there for them, and console them, but don’t tell them everything is going to be all right. It probably isn’t....
Matt Harvey Is Upset Everyone Made Fun Of His Bladder Infection
Publications across America, this one included, had a grand old time coming up with silly headlines to put above stories about Mets ace Matt Harvey’s bladder infection and blood clots, which briefly threatened to cost Harvey his Opening Day start. Harvey saw all of our jokes, and he’s not too happy ...
Matt Harvey's Wee-Wee Hurts Because He Didn't Do Enough Tinkles
Yesterday afternoon brought down a Category 4 Mets Panic when word got out that Matt Harvey was in danger of missing his Opening Day start due to some mystery ailment. The panic got even worse when manager Terry Collins and GM Sandy Alderson steadfastly refused to say just what the hell was wrong wi...
Yoenis Cespedes Decides Ball That's <i>Right There</i> Is Unplayable, Allows Inside-The-Park Home Run
A truly amazing spring training lowlight from Mets-Astros this afternoon, as an A.J. Reed ball hit past Yoenis Cespedes stuck at the base of the wall. It didn’t wedge under anything; it wasn’t trapped, or unreachable; it wasn’t obstructed in any way that would have warranted the umpire calling dead ...
What On Earth Is Going On With José Mourinho's Manchester United Pre-Contract?
We can all agree that the big takeaway from the pre-contract José Mourinho has reportedly signed with Manchester United is the simple fact that, after a few months on the sidelines, no doubt stewing over the calamity that was his final season at Chelsea, our man Mourinho will almost certainly be bac...
The Sacramento Kings Finally Broke Doug Christie
The 26-41 Sacramento Kings were down 74-53 to the 25-41 New Orleans Pelicans at halftime Wednesday night, getting torched by Ryan Anderson for 21 points in the second quarter. Analyzing the first half on CSN California, former King and NBA All-Defensive 1st teamer Doug Christie lost it, pleading wit...
Heurelho Gomes Pours A Big Ol' Bucket Of Burnsauce On Arsenal
Watford goalkeeper Heurelho Gomes has plenty of reasons to feel proud of his team’s 2-1 underdog victory over Arsenal in the FA Cup this weekend. Add in his past stint as a Tottenham player, though, and you can understand why he saw fit to dump on them so forcefully after a game he didn’t even play ...
Jenrry Mejia Says He Was Set Up By MLB
So this is pretty weird. Mets pitcher Jenrry Mejia, who recently became the first player in MLB history to receive a lifetime ban for failing three PED tests, has told The New York Times that his third positive test was the result of a conspiracy carried out against him by MLB....
The Knicks Made Carmelo Anthony Apologize For The Dumbest Thing
Ah yes, we’re finally right back where we belong, in a world where the New York Knicks aren’t a surprising feel-good story, but a bumbling franchise that specializes in pulling bad PR out of thin air. I’m actually surprised it took us this long to get back here....
Small Child Cooks Kristaps Porzingis, Eats Him, Dabs
Knicks rookie Kristaps Porzingis had to go to some promotional event today and entertain some jamokes with a few half-hearted games of 1-on-1. He probably should have taken this kid a bit more seriously:...
Yoenis Cespedes Rides A Horse To Work
Mets outfielder Yoenis Cespedes has apparently run out of fancy motorized vehicles to drive to spring training, because this morning he rolled up to the Mets’ facility on a horse....
![Right Now, Manchester United Must Rely On Some Unknown Teen To Save Their Season [Update: HE'S FUCKING DOING IT]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ysq02t1fnmv0ryalypvi.jpg)
Right Now, Manchester United Must Rely On Some Unknown Teen To Save Their Season [Update: HE'S FUCKING DOING IT]
In their usually fruitless quest to prove they can still compete with the truly elite clubs in world soccer, Manchester United have apparently decided to challenge Bayern Munich for the title of World’s Most Injured Squad. Just a little while ago, the one bright spot during this season of frustratio...
Louis van Gaal Urges His Players To Get Rock Hard For Victory
So that’s what Louis van Gaal means when he says he pumps up Manchester United’s players before matches....
Yoenis Cespedes Peels Out On His "Yes, I Just Signed A $75 Million Deal" Vehicle
Yoenis Cespedes got paid this offseason, and he arrived at the Mets’ spring training facility riding a tricked-out, three-wheeled motorcycle thingy, as any rich person should....
The Manchester United Backroom Power Struggle Theory We Desperately Hope Is True
There’s simply never enough intrigue and entertainment to be had from Manchester United to fully sate our appetite. Either they’re crushing all opponents at home and abroad, as they did during Alex Ferguson’s tenure, or they’re shitting all over themselves, the way they have in the few years since S...
Knicks Deny That Kurt Rambis Was Horny Online
Everyone had a few chuckles at the expense of Kurt Rambis over the weekend, because the Knicks’ head coach is one of the many men who apparently aren’t aware that Twitter likes and follows are public. Here’s what Rambis recently liked (things are about to get NSFW):...
Mets Pitcher Jenrry Mejia Becomes First Player To Receive Lifetime Ban For PED Use
Jenrry Mejia really likes taking steroids. He was suspended by MLB for 80 games when he tested positive for stanozolol last April, and was hit with a 162-game suspension three months later when he tested positive for stanozolol and boldenone. Today brings news that Mejia failed a third test, this ti...