lol Page 57 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mets' New Owner Will Bankrupt Old Ones With A Creepy Smile On His Face
Mets fans—and, really, anyone looking for an MLB owner that's just the least bit interesting—squealed with joy last week over the team's new partner, David Einhorn. He made some smart bets as the economy was collapsing, finished 18th in the 2006 World Series of Poker, and, most importantly, was ne...
Mets Manager Just As Dumb As Mets Owners, Carlos Beltran Is His Whore
Any of you know what the hell this means? Backward, defeatist: these are your New York Mets, with their fearless skipper leading the charge....
Mets' New Owner Is Poker Whiz, Dave Kingman Impersonator, Ball-Busting Wall Street Turk
The cash-strapped Mets are in talks to sell a minority stake in the team to hedge fund manager David Einhorn for $200 million. Normally, minority shareholders aren't news, but these Mets aren't in a normal situation. With more than a billion dollars at stake in the Bernie Madoff lawsuit, the team he...
Mets Owner: Mets Suck
There's a lot of chatter today about some choice Fred Wilpon quotes in this week's New Yorker that find the Mets owner trashing his team the way, oh, everyone else does. Seriously — he sounds like Joe from Farmingdale, dialing into WFAN an hour after last call. And damned if there isn't a part of me...
This Poor Dog Is Forced To Sit Outside Mets Games With A Pipe In Its Mouth
As if you weren't already paying too much to see Justin Turner mash on Dillon Gee's behalf, a recent internet groundswell sheds light on another gross perversion inherent in the Citi Field experience. A dog, Coffee, sits outside the stadium, ostensibly for your amusement, in sunglasses or a Groucho ...
Here's Your MLB Play Of The Season As Ryan Raburn Assists A Home Run
That's Detroit's Ryan Raburn with the Cansecoesque slap assist on Miguel Olivo's fly ball to left. Ryan, you have joined the immortals. [MLB.com]...
<i>NYDN</i>: "Blah blah blah blah rain blah blah blah Niese blah blah Astros blah blah Mets got spanked."
New York Daily News scribe Andy Martino has written a game story that speaks for every fan of the 2011 Mets. What it lacks in rhetorical fluency it makes up for in, uh, truth. This isn't an editing error, although it may look that way at first blush. The Mets have reached the summit of suck....
The Detroit Lions Went Ahead And Emailed Their Pre-Draft Player-Visit Plans To Every Team In The League
If Commissioner Roger Goodell takes the stage and says, "With the 13th pick in the draft, the Detroit Lions select...," but nobody is watching, is it still totally embarrassing that everybody in the league already knows how that sentence is about to end? Tough to say. Lions fans are used to being s...
Dennis Rodman Recognizes The Importance Of Family
Your morning roundup for April 2, the day that the color starts returning to the knuckles of passengers and crew on Southwest Flight 812, the plane with a three-foot hole in its side....
This Is A Photo Of A-Rod Holding Some Kale. You're Welcome.
Today, we give thanks to baseball for being back and to the New York Post for bringing our attention to this photo of Alex Rodriguez clutching a bundle of kale. The Post ran a story, adapted from a book called Diamond Dishes, about "the secret recipes that fuel" baseball's biggest stars. Among them:...
Eternal Sunshine Of The Luis Castillo-Less Mind
Today the Mets released Luis Castillo, and will try to forget the last three-and-a-half years ever existed. For my money, the maligned and malignant second basemen best represents the Mets' years as a black hole of a franchise. They'll have to eat his remaining $6 million, and it's worth it. Much li...
Morehead State's Demonte Harper Just Knew He'd Send Rick Pitino Home As A Loser
Your morning roundup for March 18, the day the world braces for the biggest, brightest full moon in a while....
A Video Of "Real World: Walnut Creek" Rejects Set To Agitating Music Introduces The Pac-12 To America
Months before Colorado and Utah officially join its ranks, the Pac-12 reinvented itself today with a social-media blitz built around a new logo and "The Countdown is Over" video. That's hip. That's modern....
Here's A Woefully Unnecessary Tribute Rap Video About Minor Minor-League Pitcher
With the 974th pick of the 2009 Major League Draft, the New York Mets drafted pitcher T.J. Chism of LaSalle University by way of Sun Valley High School in Aston, Pa. That season, Chism pitched in 10 games (starting seven) and compiled a 1-3 record with a 7.80 ERA with 34 Ks in 30 innings....
These Are The Emails Jim Tressel Sent While Being Really Serious
So, remember that thing we just told you about Jim Tressel's incredible concern when confronted with news of possible Buckeye crimes and/or NCAA violations?...
Mike Piazza Will Neither Confirm Nor Deny That He's Talked To Could-Be Mets Buyers
Down at Spring Training in his role as Team Italy's hitting coach, former MLB catcher Mike Piazza fielded questions about his future desires. Namely, he was asked whether he plans to follow Nolan Ryan's lead in the player-to-owner movement....
DUI Suspect Blames Oral Sex For Erratic Driving
A DUI suspect, who police say nearly drove off the road while weaving in and out of traffic, claims his erratic driving was caused by the oral sex he was receiving from his girlfriend. You go, Louisville! [Jalopnik] ...
It Must Be March If The Cubs Are Fighting Each Other In The Dugout
After giving up a six-run inning courtesy of a handful of errors, Carlos Silva returned to the dugout and got into a fight. It was broken up, he was removed from the game, and kept away from reporters afterward because he was "not in the right frame of mind to talk." Cubs Spring Training, people! [C...
Is The London Olympic Logo A Zionist Conspiracy, Or Is It Just Lisa Simpson Giving Bart A Blowjob?
There are two dominant conspiracies behind the London Olympics logo, which, if you ask Iranians and Simpsons enthusiasts, is trying suspiciously hard to be just ugly blocky numbers spelling out the year "2012." The Lisa Simpson and "Zion" theories, as well as a swastika interpretation, emerged whe...
Detroit is so deserted you can now snowmobile down the freeway
It's not that a pack of snowmobiles can comfortably take to the streets of Detroit in winter that amazes us about this video. It's that Detroit has become so empty, snowmobiles can now also hit the freeways. [Jalopnik]...