lol Page 57 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Look At This Fucking Hoopster: Lollapalooza 2011 Edition
It is August in Chicago, and that, of course, means that young people have descended upon the city for Lollapalooza so that they can post Facebook albums of themselves drinking Budweiser tall boys with Kid Cudi in the background and the caption "post-punk punk is dead tho." It also means that it is ...

The Marlins Give Up
Answer quickly, without looking it up: what's the name of the Marlins' stadium?...

Watch Some Dude Lightly Smack Mr. Met In The Groin
Tipster Nicholas sends along this video of a gentleman—perhaps Nicholas himself, though we cannot know—tricking Mr. Met into singing along with him to "Meet the Mets."...

Today, The Mets Deposited The First Of 25 $1,193,248.20 Checks Into Bobby Bonilla's Bank Account
Bobby Bonilla is 48. He hasn't played for the Mets since 1999. He hasn't played in MLB since 2001....

A Sketchbook Of A Season With The Mets
Not because we're particular fans of the Mets, but because we're fans of the dying art of sports cartooning. Over at MyMetsJournal, Joe Petruccio is doing a drawing for every game of the 2011 Mets season, and they're superlative. [My Mets Journal]...

These Ladies Waited 185 Years To See The Mets Lose
Setting aside the fact that one's in a wheelchair and the team has been around for less than half of the other's life, that's still pretty good willpower. But Rebecca Lazofsky, 102, and daughter Miriam, 85, finally took in their first Mets game yesterday. One hopes they stuck around until the 9th so...

David Einhorn Can Control The Mets For A Dollar, And Other Bad Omens For The Wilpons
When we last touched on the terms of the new Mets ownership deal, there was enough information to make fun of the Mets, but a key detail was missing. We knew that David Einhorn had essentially agreed to loan the Wilpons $200 million dollars in exchange for a third of the team until the loan was paid...

Ronnie Woo Woo Gives Up On The Cubs, Wants Paul McCartney Tickets Instead
Our tipster Steven works for a ticket company out of Chicago, and wrote in to tell us that he'd had beloved Cubs fan Ronnie "Woo Woo" Wickers in the office today. He even attached a photo: "Woo_Woo_Office_Visit.jpg." Ronnie was wearing his Cubs uniform, which is no surprise; what is is that one of t...

If You Had June 1 In The "Mets Finally Drive Terry Collins Insane" Pool, You Win
Last night's bullpen meltdown wasn't even particularly spectacular, as far as Mets losses go. (And there have been 30 of them already.) But it was the last straw for Terry Collins, who wishes he had less Buffalo Bisons on his team and more Andrew McCutchens....

Cubs Have Upside Down Logo At Wrigley, Possibly As Some Sort Of Distress Signal
This oopsie is apparently located on the wall of a tunnel near the Cubs clubhouse. Has it been like this for the last 95 years and no one's noticed? Possibly. ...

Mets' New Owner Will Bankrupt Old Ones With A Creepy Smile On His Face
Mets fans—and, really, anyone looking for an MLB owner that's just the least bit interesting—squealed with joy last week over the team's new partner, David Einhorn. He made some smart bets as the economy was collapsing, finished 18th in the 2006 World Series of Poker, and, most importantly, was ne...

Mets Manager Just As Dumb As Mets Owners, Carlos Beltran Is His Whore
Any of you know what the hell this means? Backward, defeatist: these are your New York Mets, with their fearless skipper leading the charge....

Mets' New Owner Is Poker Whiz, Dave Kingman Impersonator, Ball-Busting Wall Street Turk
The cash-strapped Mets are in talks to sell a minority stake in the team to hedge fund manager David Einhorn for $200 million. Normally, minority shareholders aren't news, but these Mets aren't in a normal situation. With more than a billion dollars at stake in the Bernie Madoff lawsuit, the team he...

Mets Owner: Mets Suck
There's a lot of chatter today about some choice Fred Wilpon quotes in this week's New Yorker that find the Mets owner trashing his team the way, oh, everyone else does. Seriously — he sounds like Joe from Farmingdale, dialing into WFAN an hour after last call. And damned if there isn't a part of me...

This Poor Dog Is Forced To Sit Outside Mets Games With A Pipe In Its Mouth
As if you weren't already paying too much to see Justin Turner mash on Dillon Gee's behalf, a recent internet groundswell sheds light on another gross perversion inherent in the Citi Field experience. A dog, Coffee, sits outside the stadium, ostensibly for your amusement, in sunglasses or a Groucho ...

Here's Your MLB Play Of The Season As Ryan Raburn Assists A Home Run
That's Detroit's Ryan Raburn with the Cansecoesque slap assist on Miguel Olivo's fly ball to left. Ryan, you have joined the immortals. [MLB.com]...

<i>NYDN</i>: "Blah blah blah blah rain blah blah blah Niese blah blah Astros blah blah Mets got spanked."
New York Daily News scribe Andy Martino has written a game story that speaks for every fan of the 2011 Mets. What it lacks in rhetorical fluency it makes up for in, uh, truth. This isn't an editing error, although it may look that way at first blush. The Mets have reached the summit of suck....

The Detroit Lions Went Ahead And Emailed Their Pre-Draft Player-Visit Plans To Every Team In The League
If Commissioner Roger Goodell takes the stage and says, "With the 13th pick in the draft, the Detroit Lions select...," but nobody is watching, is it still totally embarrassing that everybody in the league already knows how that sentence is about to end? Tough to say. Lions fans are used to being s...

Dennis Rodman Recognizes The Importance Of Family
Your morning roundup for April 2, the day that the color starts returning to the knuckles of passengers and crew on Southwest Flight 812, the plane with a three-foot hole in its side....

This Is A Photo Of A-Rod Holding Some Kale. You're Welcome.
Today, we give thanks to baseball for being back and to the New York Post for bringing our attention to this photo of Alex Rodriguez clutching a bundle of kale. The Post ran a story, adapted from a book called Diamond Dishes, about "the secret recipes that fuel" baseball's biggest stars. Among them:...