lol Page 58 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"I came out and a bear was sitting in my car…. taking a crap and drinking beer"
As if it's not bad enough to come outside and find a bear sitting shotgun in your Volkswagen, to then find out the bear defecated in it and drank your beer really is the icing on the crap-cake. [Jalopnk]...

Stumbly, Pot-Bellied Redskins Fan And Compatriot Receive Beating At Hands Of Other Redskins Fans
...and then the cops show up and everybody stands around for a few minutes before the person taping confirms that he recorded the whole thing....

So, What's Mrs. Tom Brady Doing With This Guy Who Isn't Mr. Tom Brady? (With Update!)
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Dexter McCluster: Not Gangsta
Hmm. Well. Hmm. This is something. I think this public service announcement will only result in reminding me to drop McCluster from my fantasy team. [Pitch Weekly]...

In The Navy, You Can Berate Your Fellow Man
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Randy Johnson's Lollapalooza Pictures Are Online, Not Terrible
Randy Johnson—photographer of the stars—took pictures of Soundgarden's set at Lollapalooza for Spin, and while it is—unfortunately—hoopster free, it is a solid collection of shots from what was probably a very loud concert. [Spin]...

Look At These Fucking Hoopsters At Lollapalooza: Part Two
Welcome to the second edition of the Hoopsters of Lollapalooza 2010. There's been some debate over whether of not some of the entrants are real "hipsters" or merely "bros." Why though? This is a forum for ridicule, not ontological precision. Onto the pictures! Part One | Part Two | Part Three...

Look At These Fucking Hoopsters At Lollapalooza
This weekend's Lollapalooza was dubbed "Hoopster Mecca" by one tipster, and after sifting through all the submissions it's clear that the hoopsters made Lollapalooza the site of their Hajj. So, here's part one of a multipart series. Christ, just look at these fucking hoopsters. Part One | Part Two ...

Mariners Celebrate Lolcats Night
Nothing like a 7-year-old Internet meme to show the kids you're hip, right Seattle? What's next, redirecting the team site to Last Measure? (Note: don't go to Last Measure.)...

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat-Geek Mockery: Dan Shaughnessy And Pudding
Ladies and germs, I give you Dan Shaughnessy, from his aforementioned Globe column:...

Wince-Inducing Story Of The Day: Miguel Olivo Has A Urethra Of Steel
The Rockies catcher passed a kidney stone during a recent game against the Diamondbacks, then he threw his gear back on and later singled. "I can handle pain a little bit," he said. "Let's play baseball." [Last Angry Fan]...

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ladies and germs, I give you Jerry Thornton of WEEI....

Utah Will Never Play In a Championship Bowl Game, How to Win an NCAA Pool, and Other Swell Advice from a Departing Gawker Writer
Hello Deadspin readers! My name's Foster. This is my last weekend writing for Gawker. I've written for you jockstrap-sniffing cretins before, but this will be maybe my last chance to do so. So while AJ's over there, here're some words:...

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ron Borges, ladies and germs, on UZR: "I thought those were the initials of a former Russian state only to learn it means Ultimate Zone Rating." [Boston Herald]...

Joakimpalooza Festival Will Be Coming To A City Near You
We showed you a couple of photographs of dirty hippie Joakim Noah popping up at last weekend's Lollapalooza festival and it appears that he was friendly to pretty much everyone he came in contact with during the three-day event....

The One With Joakimpalooza And Being Scolded For Joy
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Which Athlete Reminds You Of Mitt Romney? The Kandi Man, Of Course
"I feel like Romney's having the same problems as [Michael Olowokandi]. On paper, he looks great, but there's just something about him that doesn't seem to add up in the minds of voters." Like every other failed prospect. [TNR]...

America Takes Special Needs Bowling Way Too Seriously
The President of the United States hates you, America, so much so that instead of fixing the economy like he was told to, he went on a silly talk show to trash talk disabled people....

Fancy Handbags, And Face Paint
As we've mentioned before, we find the whole "hey, ladies, you can like sports TOO!" thing to be rather silly. It seems like pandering, and they always have this subtext of, "So now you can understand what you're husband's talking about, and therefore leave him alone!" But that said, we are amused b...

I can has home run?
It doesn't take a genius to slap some misspelled drop-shadow text on a photo and upload it to the intarwebs for big laughs. The runaway success of sites like I Can Has Cheezburger? and LOLcats.com have spawned imitators and now athletes are getting the LOLcat treatment thanks to Grimey at LOLJocks. ...