lol Page 7 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Orioles Probably Didn't Even Notice They Were Eliminated From Playoff Contention
The Orioles brought the inevitable to reality on Friday, officially getting eliminated from playoff contention with a 7-1 loss to the Rays. All things considered, the news probably isn’t hitting the clubhouse too hard. For one thing, the players will get a much-needed break away from this hellish se...
Orioles' Chance Sisco Capped Off A Bad Inning With A Foul Tip To The Dick And Balls
A wise person online once said, “Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.” Such a quote can also be applied to the Baltimore Orioles this season. As a whole, the team has been a special kind of terrible that few people have ever seen before in their lives. Yet at ...
That Sure Blew Up In Mickey Callaway's Face
The Mets have somehow gotten themselves into playoff contention, which is both good news and bad news for them. The good news, obviously, is that they may yet have a successful season after a very lame first half. The bad news is that now people are actually paying attention to the Mets, and that me...
Terry Rozier, After Celebrating Becoming A Knick, Upon Offer To Not Play For The Knicks: "We Gonna Have To Take That One"
After the NBA draft lottery, dread seeped into my bones and I predicted the Knicks’ pipe dreams of Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving, and Zion Williamson would turn into Bobby Portis, Terry Rozier, and DeMarcus Cousins. The Knicks did strike out in spectacular fashion, although that specific forecast went ...
Anthony Santander Threw A Ball Sideways, Somehow
Conceded: It is extremely rude that, after Saturday’s loss spurred a blog making fun of the Orioles, Sunday’s thrilling comeback win results in ... a blog making fun of the Orioles. But if you can’t abide being rude to the O’s when they do something like this, then we can’t be friends....
Yordan Alvarez And The Astros Made A Strong Case For Relegating The Orioles
In only the second-worst beatdown the Orioles have suffered at the hands of a Texas-based team in Camden Yards, the Astros ran roughshod all over Baltimore in a 23-2 win on Saturday. The hapless O’s were only allowed two innings of scoreless respite as the remaining seven included at least one run t...
Report: Manchester United Manager Reamed Out Romelu Lukaku For Exposing That Luke Shaw Is Slow
Romelu Lukaku has officially moved from Manchester United to Inter, which means it’s time for those deliciously juicy stories about how the relationship soured to start popping up. The Times has one particularly funny nugget, about how manager Ole Gunnar Solskjær subjected the Belgian to a “‘brutal’...
Sources: James Dolan "Liked" The Music Round At Trivia
James Dolan—man around town, Knicks owner, and bluesman who militantly patrols his own audience—was spotted playing trivia at a barbecue restaurant in Manhattan on Tuesday. Having only recognized J.D. after the contest started, our tipster lamented a missed opportunity to name their trivia crew “Sel...
What In The Hell Is Happening In The NL?
I am surprised that Comrade Roth hasn’t mentioned this a couple of hundred times because as a Mets fan he is by definition skin-rash-level annoying, but there’s this: The Mets are now in the National League wild card mosh pit....
Report: Hiring A Consulting Firm Made The Melo Knicks Even More Paranoid And Dysfunctional
The Knicks were more than watchable in 2012-2013. Carmelo Anthony scored as he does; J.R. Smith shot his way to Sixth Man of the Year; Tyson Chandler held down the paint; and a couple pieces of the early-aughts Nets washed ashore. It was a charming team that over-performed in the first and last chu...
At Least Three Paying Customers Have Been Kicked Out Of James Dolan's Recent Concerts
Knicks owner and dedicated crooner James Dolan seemingly has an allergy toward playing his music in front of anyone who might be inclined to bring actual attention to it. Over the past month, at least three paying customers have been booted from three separate venues during Dolan’s shows. Two of tho...
A Working Theory Of What The Mets Are Even Doing Right Now
On Sunday, the Mets did two unusual things. If you want to be rude, you can include them sweeping a series from the Pittsburgh Pirates as a third, but the first two are more notable and also let’s be nice. One of those unusual things was that, in a departure from the norm, the team did not use a “Su...
Mets' Jeff McNeil Believes Adopting A Puppy Will Help Him Hit More Home Runs
The Mets defeated the Pirates on Friday, 6-3, thanks in part to a three-run homer that Jeff McNeil hit in the bottom of the third inning....
Why Your Team Sucks 2019: New York Jets
Some people are fans of the New York Jets. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New York Jets. This 2019 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....
Tim Tebow's Flesh And Bat Faileth
Last time we checked in on future Mets superstar Tim Tebow he was struggling mightily down at triple-A, slashing .156/.239/.227 in 128 at-bats and striking out against a position player. The bad news is, Tebow is now all sliced up and injured; the worse news is, he evidently still can’t figure out h...
Mets Extend Olive Branch To Fans By Limiting Their Ability To Watch The Mets
The Mets are a revolving door of controversy and incompetence, as the most recent New York team to win a pennant(!) has spent the past month (or two, or three...) plagued by internal anger, poor play, and a tendency to kill off ex-players before they actually die. It must be no fun to be a Mets fan ...
Yahoo's Bold New Sports Media Strategy No Longer Includes Buying And Selling Mets Coverage
Add the Queens Baseball Club, later renamed the Flushing Meadows Baseball Club, to the pile of abandoned ideas that were meant to turn sports media into a lucrative business. As reported by the New York Post, Yahoo Sports’ plan to buy coverage from the New York Mets and then sell that coverage to re...
The New York Knicks Continue To Fill Their Big Baby Diapers With Poo Over <i>NY Daily News</i> Reports
After the New York Daily News published an astonishing but routinely reported story on New York Knicks owner James Dolan’s ongoing and legally protracted feud with Clippers owner Steve Ballmer and the city of Inglewood—which concerns Ballmer’s proposed new arena and how it would compete with an exis...
In Miracle, Orioles Somehow Manage To Avoid Falling Victim To Perfect Game
The Orioles are in the midst of a historically bad season with many lowlights that will likely be used in hospitals all over the country to help patients induce vomiting. But to those cursed with supporting this team, I bring good news. Baltimore showed on Sunday that the depths of their awfulness d...
Manchester United Travel Halfway Around The World And Still Can't Escape Liverpool Fans' Trolling
If you had to point at a single day that represents the absolute nadir of being a 21st-Century Manchester United fan, you could make a strong case that today, July 11, 2019, is that day. The team itself is a joke. Their best player desperately wants out. Both the Red Devils’ biggest rivals are in pe...