lolmets Page 15 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Evening: LOLMets, Now In License Plate Form
Your p.m. roundup for Sept. 15, the day we discovered cat maps. H/T to Jenn for the photo, which she snapped along the Pennsylvania Turnpike (of course). Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
The Wall Street Journal Counted How Many Times Mike Pelfrey Licked His Pitching Hand Tuesday Night
And the answer, over the course of six-plus innings, is 89. The story also notes that "there are two variations of the Pelfrey lick," though it doesn't go so far as to actually chart the two-finger and four-finger versions. [WSJ]...
The Guy Who Wanted To Own The Mets, Like Everyone Else Ever Involved With The Team, Has Quit On The Mets
David Einhorn, the baby-faced assassin who would be extorting the snakebitten Wilpons all the way to the bank, will not be controlling the Mets for a dollar. He will not, in fact, own any part of the Mets....
This Is What Team Deadspin Looked Like At Last Night's Company Outing To The Mets Game
Your morning roundup for Sept. 1, the day we learned how to make it rain. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
As If Things Weren't Bad Enough For The Mets, R.A. Dickey Has Now Chosen To Dress Like Obi-Wan Kenobi
Of course, the Mets are now exploring reanimating Alec Guinness' corpse and signing him as a knuckleballer, too. [Photo via @RADickey43]...
Mets Fans Now Being Hunted Down Like Dogs, By Dogs
Flushing, as a neighborhood, has a decidedly unappealing name. But Citi Field isn't actually located in Flushing. Surrounded by a bay, two freeways and a park, the Mets share their parcel of land with the little-known, less-loved neighborhood of Willets Point. With a permanent population of one, Wil...
Today In Utterly Predictable Ledes
Former New York Mets star Lenny Dykstra was charged on Thursday with exposing himself to a string of women who answered his Craigslist employment ads, Los Angeles city prosecutors said on Thursday. [Reuters]...
Angel Pagan Was Busy Taking A Shit When He Was Due Up To Bat
"Apparently Pagan 'felt a rumble at the end of the fourth' and ended up spending a significant portion of the fifth shitting, while his coach screamed his name from the dugout in vain." [NYDN, via Gawker]...
Watch Some Dude Lightly Smack Mr. Met In The Groin
Tipster Nicholas sends along this video of a gentleman—perhaps Nicholas himself, though we cannot know—tricking Mr. Met into singing along with him to "Meet the Mets."...
Today, The Mets Deposited The First Of 25 $1,193,248.20 Checks Into Bobby Bonilla's Bank Account
Bobby Bonilla is 48. He hasn't played for the Mets since 1999. He hasn't played in MLB since 2001....
A Sketchbook Of A Season With The Mets
Not because we're particular fans of the Mets, but because we're fans of the dying art of sports cartooning. Over at MyMetsJournal, Joe Petruccio is doing a drawing for every game of the 2011 Mets season, and they're superlative. [My Mets Journal]...
These Ladies Waited 185 Years To See The Mets Lose
Setting aside the fact that one's in a wheelchair and the team has been around for less than half of the other's life, that's still pretty good willpower. But Rebecca Lazofsky, 102, and daughter Miriam, 85, finally took in their first Mets game yesterday. One hopes they stuck around until the 9th so...
David Einhorn Can Control The Mets For A Dollar, And Other Bad Omens For The Wilpons
When we last touched on the terms of the new Mets ownership deal, there was enough information to make fun of the Mets, but a key detail was missing. We knew that David Einhorn had essentially agreed to loan the Wilpons $200 million dollars in exchange for a third of the team until the loan was paid...
If You Had June 1 In The "Mets Finally Drive Terry Collins Insane" Pool, You Win
Last night's bullpen meltdown wasn't even particularly spectacular, as far as Mets losses go. (And there have been 30 of them already.) But it was the last straw for Terry Collins, who wishes he had less Buffalo Bisons on his team and more Andrew McCutchens....
Mets' New Owner Will Bankrupt Old Ones With A Creepy Smile On His Face
Mets fans—and, really, anyone looking for an MLB owner that's just the least bit interesting—squealed with joy last week over the team's new partner, David Einhorn. He made some smart bets as the economy was collapsing, finished 18th in the 2006 World Series of Poker, and, most importantly, was ne...
Mets Manager Just As Dumb As Mets Owners, Carlos Beltran Is His Whore
Any of you know what the hell this means? Backward, defeatist: these are your New York Mets, with their fearless skipper leading the charge....
Mets' New Owner Is Poker Whiz, Dave Kingman Impersonator, Ball-Busting Wall Street Turk
The cash-strapped Mets are in talks to sell a minority stake in the team to hedge fund manager David Einhorn for $200 million. Normally, minority shareholders aren't news, but these Mets aren't in a normal situation. With more than a billion dollars at stake in the Bernie Madoff lawsuit, the team he...
Mets Owner: Mets Suck
There's a lot of chatter today about some choice Fred Wilpon quotes in this week's New Yorker that find the Mets owner trashing his team the way, oh, everyone else does. Seriously — he sounds like Joe from Farmingdale, dialing into WFAN an hour after last call. And damned if there isn't a part of me...
This Poor Dog Is Forced To Sit Outside Mets Games With A Pipe In Its Mouth
As if you weren't already paying too much to see Justin Turner mash on Dillon Gee's behalf, a recent internet groundswell sheds light on another gross perversion inherent in the Citi Field experience. A dog, Coffee, sits outside the stadium, ostensibly for your amusement, in sunglasses or a Groucho ...
<i>NYDN</i>: "Blah blah blah blah rain blah blah blah Niese blah blah Astros blah blah Mets got spanked."
New York Daily News scribe Andy Martino has written a game story that speaks for every fan of the 2011 Mets. What it lacks in rhetorical fluency it makes up for in, uh, truth. This isn't an editing error, although it may look that way at first blush. The Mets have reached the summit of suck....