los-angeles-lakers Page 40 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Kobe: "These Motherfuckers Ain't Doing Shit For Me" (VIDEO UPDATE)
The 6-16 Lakers are garbage and will likely continue to be garbage, but Kobe Bryant refuses to give up. His latest motivational tactic: Emotionally dismantling his teammates during practice. Getting yelled at by a champion will make you a champion, maybe....
Laptop Man Unfazed By Kobe-Rondo Meeting
Kobe Bryant and Rajon Rondo got breakfast together in Boston this morning, which is fine and good and probably means that Kobe is trying to convince Rondo to come play with him in L.A. so that the two can form some kind of super team of surly-assness and eventually kill each other. But that's not wh...
John Wall Destroyed The Lakers Last Night
Kobe Bryant and Nick Young hit a bunch of fluky long jumpers in a row during the second quarter of the Lakers' game in DC last night; with around six minutes left in the half they led by 11 points, and if you saw the score (47-36) crawl across the bottom of your screen just then, you might've though...
Kobe Bryant Airballs From Siberia As The Lakers Lose by 34
The other day my colleague Albert Burneko worried that Nick Young's return had improbably elevated the Lakers from "gonzo terribleness to bland mediocrity." Worried because the Lakers' spectacular brand of suck has been the most entertaining subplot early in this surprisingly dismal NBA season, and ...
Why The Lakers' Brand Of Suck Matters
That Nick Young's return to the lineup would coincide with the Lakers' ascent from gonzo terribleness to bland mediocrity fits, really. Both because at every stop in his NBA career Nick Young has done whatever would annoy me the most, but also because "Swaggy P" is the basketball embodiment of a tw...
Nick Young And Jordan Hill Briefly Make Being A Laker Seem Fun
Outside of the Philadelphia 76ers, there is no more depressing (although we find them more darkly hilarious) team in the NBA than the Los Angeles Lakers. That might be changing with the return of Nick Young, though, who has helped the Lakers to two straight wins after missing the team's 1-9 start du...
The Funniest Thing In Sports: Kobe Bryant Chucking At Historic Levels
Kobe Bryant shot a combined 16-for-48 in the two ass-kickings the Lakers absorbed over the weekend. Even the bad guys from Rambo III are all, "Jesus, man, that's a lotta terrible shooting." The friggin' Ethyl Higby Charm School doesn't have that many misses....
Sad Jeremy Lin Sums Up The Lakers' Season In Six Seconds
I have no idea what question this is in response to, but it could have been anything from "How can you guys improve on the defensive end?" to "At this point, why even continue living?" and this would be the perfect answer....
Lakers And Fans Sleep Through Home Blowout To The Warriors
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Kobe And The Lakers Do Dumb Shit; Anthony Davis Dismisses Them
The ridiculous, bad-basketball-playin'-ass Lakers lost again last night, 109-102 in New Orleans, to fall to 1-7. Basically, they performed how you might expect them to on the second night of a road back-to-back: they won the first quarter with some fluky hot shooting, then sagged badly in the middl...
All Hail Kobe Bryant And The Lakers, Lords Of Madness
First things first: You don't get to miss more shots than anybody else in NBA history by being bad at basketball. That record would be Larry Hughes's if he didn't, y'know, suck at everything, and in this sense, the all-time missed-shots record is a perverse monument to Kobe Bryant's greatness. He ...
Kobe Bryant Breaks All-Time NBA Record For Missed Shots
Kobe Bryant is officially the all-time greatest player in NBA history at failing to make a basket. Soak in this historic moment! 13,418 is a large number....
Lakers Guard Wayne Ellington Leaves Team After Father Shot And Killed
Lakers shooting guard Wayne Ellington Jr. has taken an indefinite leave of absence from the team after his father was shot and killed in Philadelphia on Sunday night, according to a statement from the team. NBC's Philadelphia affiliate reports that police responding to a car crash in Philadelphia's ...
The Crazy Kobe Trade Ideas Season Is Now Open
One of the many joys of a high-profile NBA team collapsing is when the desperate homers and old-fart national columnists who, weirdly, don't pay any actual attention to the NBA begin wildly overestimating what the team could get back by trading away its bad players. Hey, the Knicks are in the toile...
The Lakers Won, Can't Win
The hilarious Lakers finally got a win last night, a 107-92 clobbering of the Hornets in Los Angeles. Turns out, all it took to get the Lakers off the hook was nearly an entire week off to prepare to host one of the most dysfunctional offensive teams in basketball. Should be a pretty repeatable fo...
Holy Shit, The Lakers Actually Won A Game
Here you see ecstatic weirdos clad in sleeveless shirts with names like "Abdul-Jabbar," "Johnson," and "S. Parker" on the back applauding their team for truly achieving the unthinkable: yes, the Lakers won a basketball game. For those disbelieving, here is the proof....
The Lakers Suck So Goddamn Bad And I Love It And So Should You
The Lakers lost to the fun and exciting Phoenix Suns last night, 112-106, in Los Angeles. They're now 0-5 for the first time since 1957, when they were the Minneapolis Lakers and Kobe Bryant was only like 15 years old....
Gerald Green Dunked The Lakers Back Into Their Mausoleum
The shit-ass Lakers are now 0-5 after dropping a home game to the not-shit-ass Phoenix Suns last night. While Kobe Bryant was out there racking up 39 points on 37 (37! Thirty-seven!) shots, Suns swingman and dunk specialist Gerald Green was yamming on the Lakers without mercy. ...
The Lakers Are Still Jump-Kicking Themselves In The Face
A funny thing happened on Halloween: Perhaps inspired by the children of America— who'd spent the evening taking to the streets in elaborate costumes, pretending to be ghosts and ghouls and ninja turtles rather than little kids—the Lakers decided to dress up as a team that can wring success out of t...