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Well This Was Predictable
Right on cue, the quarterback that Jets coach Adam Gase only let have one full practice with the first team has already committed a laughable mistake. New York decided to go for it on a 4th-and-1 in the first quarter, but rather than running it with one of the league’s best running backs, the team d...

Big Boy Auburn Defender Rumbles Until He Tumbles After Recovering Fumble
In the dying embers of the first quarter of Auburn-Florida, Gators quarterback Kyle Trask lost the football and it landed straight into the arms of 6-foot-5, 315 lb. defensive tackle Derrick Brown. It didn’t matter that he’s not the type of player whose body type screams “speedster.” Thanks to some ...

Oklahoma Punts On Fourth-And-Goal? From The 44-Yard Line? Against Kansas?
*Record scratch* *Freeze frame* Yup, that’s Oklahoma. So, you’re probably wondering how they ended up punting from fourth-and-goal at Kansas’s 44-yard line late in the second quarter of Saturday’s game. After a shaky first quarter, Jalen Hurts and the Sooners were working their way downfield, and li...

Lias Andersson's Season Could've Started Better
Fresh-faced Rangers forward and silver medal hater Lias Andersson made the team’s opening night roster for this season, which is neat for him. This earned Andersson an appearance during Thursday night’s big pregame player introduction ceremony, which was probably also pretty neat for him, right up u...

Brugge Player Scores Two Goals On Real Madrid Despite Twice Doo-Dooing Himself
Even though Real Madrid have been ass all year, no one would’ve expected anything other than a comfortable win when the Blancos hosted Club Brugge in the Champions League today. And yet the Belgian team spent the vast majority of the match in winning position, thanks to two goals from Emmanuel Denni...

Matt Barkley's Interception Was A Perfectly Bills Way To Lose
The question surrounding the end of Patriots-Bills wasn’t so much a matter of how Buffalo was going to use its final drive to complete the shocking upset at home, but rather how spectacularly the team would fuck things up. Even after Tom Brady and the rest of the New England squad tried time after t...

Vontaze Burfict Ejected For Particularly Heinous Late Hit On Jack Doyle
Much like the sun is guaranteed to set in the west each day, Vontaze Burfict will almost certainly be ejected for laying down a dirty hit sometime during an NFL season. This is exactly what happened early in the second quarter of Colts-Raiders on Sunday: Seconds after Jack Doyle made a catch on his ...

You Will Never Unsee Morgan Moses's Hasty Right Leg
I do not advise tuning in for the Monday night matchup between Washington and the Bears for any reason. Those deranged enough to watch this horror show have seen the Bears pound the bejeezus out of the home team in every phase, starting with a first-quarter pick-six to open the scoring. The especia...

Look At This Butt Goal
Own goals usually leave defenders red-faced, but the cheeks of Sparta Prague defender Michal Sáček’s ass were most likely the redder after his butt scored an own goal in Sunday’s match against Slavia Prague:...

Despite Their Best Efforts, The 49ers Were Incapable Of Beating Themselves
In any other week for non-Jets teams, giving up five turnovers to an opponent tends to be a pretty solid blow towards that side’s chances of winning. But the 49ers became an exception to that trend against the Steelers on Sunday with a 24-20 win at home. Just like how that scoreline doesn’t tell the...

Emmanuel Sanders Says The Broncos Are "Living In A World Of Suck"
Broncos receiver Emmanuel Sanders was understandably not pleased after Sunday’s 27-16 loss against the Packers. In his postgame conversation with reporters he gave quite an honest assessment of just how he feels being on a team that’s started the season going 0-3....

Giants Player Tackles Teammate Running For Touchdown
A preface to this highlight: Jameis Winston’s fumble here was ruled an incompletion on replay, so it didn’t matter that Jabrill Peppers pushed down Alec Ogletree when he was running down the field with only green grass in front of him? But why did Jabrill Peppers tackle Alec Ogletree??...

This Sam Darnold Graphic Was The Jets' Only Bright Spot Against The Browns
There is no better representation of how poorly the Jets performed in their 23-3 loss against the Browns than the fact that this ESPN-created graphic of Sam Darnold executing a powerful commanding point while the word “mononucleosis” appears next to him boldly in all caps was likely the only thing t...

Donte Moncrief's Steelers Career Could Not Be Going Any Worse
After the Steelers’ Week 1 destruction at the hands of the Patriots, Pittsburgh wide receiver Donte Moncrief told reporters that he had played his “worst game ever.” That wasn’t a hyperbolic description, either. Moncrief finished that game with three catches on 10 targets for seven yards, and he was...

Iowa State Found The Assiest Way To Lose El Assico
Iowa and Iowa State met last night and participated in the annual tradition of putting on the most consistently terrible rivalry game in college football. Last night’s edition of the clash truly lived up to its El Assico nickname, in no small part because of how Iowa State managed to finally lose it...

Maryland Attempts Fake Field Goal; No One Fooled
For a whole host of reasons (Maryland scoring two points in the first half, the first third down conversion of the game coming just before halftime, a seven-yard Temple punt in the fourth quarter, Maryland still not scoring after that, etc.), Maryland-Temple can be safely shelved among the worst, d...

Mississippi State's Garrett Shrader Evolves Into Human Helicopter, Fails To Convert First Down
There aren’t a lot of options in most playbooks for a fourth-and-16 situation, but that didn’t get Mississippi State out of that exact scenario late in the fourth quarter against Kansas State on Saturday. After quarterback Garrett Shrader snapped the ball, and all of his receivers went running down ...

Ronald Acuña Jr. Robs Home Run, Immediately Turns It Into Inside-The-Park Home Run
You would think that robbing a home run at the wall comes down to getting a good jump, timing your leap, and having the insane hand-eye coordination to rip the ball out of the sky with your off hand, while crashing into a padded wall. Turns out that’s only most of it. As Ronald Acuña Jr. learned in ...

Here's A Bad Way To Start Your First Drive Of The Season
Year 2 of UCLA’s Chip Kelly experiment began on Thursday with a trip to Nippert Stadium in Cincinnati to take on the Bearcats. Like any sophomore year, the preseason conversation around the team focused on significant improvement from last year, with some promises of an offensive explosion. ...

Kyle Kuzma Demonstrates Beautiful Touch As He Scores On His Own Basket
Team USA is down to 13 players, who are all in contention for the final 12-man roster. With the FIBA World Cup just 10 days away, the squad played the first of a two-game exhibition against Australia on Thursday, and won comfortably, 102-86. During the first quarter, Donovan Mitchell skied for an im...