Brugge Player Scores Two Goals On Real Madrid Despite Twice Doo-Dooing Himself

Even though Real Madrid have been ass all year, no one would’ve expected anything other than a comfortable win when the Blancos hosted Club Brugge in the Champions League today. And yet the Belgian team spent the vast majority of the match in winning position, thanks to two goals from Emmanuel Dennis, who somehow managed to score both goals in spite of his best efforts to screw everything up.

Brugge’s first goal came less than 10 minutes into the match, when Madrid’s awful defending gifted Brugge acres of space and gaping holes into which the visitors could attack. Right when teammate Percy Tau’s pinpoint cross found Dennis wide open in the box with a relative tap-in awaiting him, Dennis very nearly out-tricked himself, and only wound up finishing the chance with a goal thanks to complete dumb luck:

The line judge ruled the goal offside initially, but VAR awarded Brugge the goal upon review. Normally, VAR robbing a player of a chance to celebrate what was likely the biggest goal of his entire life would be a shame, but Dennis’s “shot” was so flukey that in this case VAR was right to spoil it.

Thirty minutes later, Dennis once again found himself in a one-on-one with the Madrid keeper. This time, his eventual finish was a nifty one, though it was only possible because the Nigerian just managed to stay upright after stumbling over his own feet:

Unfortunately for Brugge and the neutrals, Madrid eventually fought their way back and came away with a 2–2 draw. The draw means Madrid still aren’t in any real danger of failing to qualify for the knockout rounds in what is an incredibly forgiving group. Still, as bad as Madrid looked today and for much of the still-young season, this shouldn’t be the last time we see someone humiliate the Madridistas. Though maybe the next time the other team can do a better job not tripping over their own dicks.