m Page 6790 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Trying To Nail Down That Last Slam
• Federer wins in first round at French Open. [SI.com] • A horrifying mug mashup. [Loser With Socks] • Really, is Gary Sheffield that much help? [ESPN] • Looking at all the Yankees-Red Sox standings. [YanksFan/SoxFan] • A poem about Derek Jeter's game-ending flyout Sunday. [UmpBump] • Yeah, about th...

Last Call For All Spelling Bee Bets!
The Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee — so lovingly run down by Mr. Daulerio — begins tomorrow, and, as always, the great minds at Throwing Things will be live-blogging the whole thing. Even though Mike and Mike are calling this thing, we still can't wait: The Spelling Bee remains one of our favo...

Malibu Was Healed By Mother Nature
If you haven't had the opportunity to revel in the "American Gladiators" reruns on ESPN Classic — truly the greatest programming currently airing on the vast family of networks — we can't recommend them enough. Just Call Me Juice discovered this little piece of genius, which is the least you can exp...

Less Chat, More Hat
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....

Does Barry Really Owe The Hall Of Fame Anything?
Barry Bonds is heading to New York this week for the Giants' three-game series with the Mets, and because there are a ton of reporters here, expect Bonds to make some sort of headline in the next three days, whether he homers or not. (If we were Bonds, we'd avoid anybody with a combover for the next...

No Indy 500 In Indy
• They blacked out the Indianapolis 500 in Indianapolis, for some reason. [Rumors And Rants] • About that awful New York Times column about a woman divorcing the Yankees ... [Strike Zones And End Zones] • On Kobe's "trade demand." [Pyle Of List] • Uh, ouch. [Blumpkins For All] • A terrifying potenti...

Roll On, Big Cheese, Roll On
If it somehow slipped your mind that Monday was the annual Gloucestershire Cheese Roll, don't worry; we're on the story. In the interests of full disclosure, though, we have to tell you that the video above is from last year's event. For this year's results, go here. So much to love in the video, ho...

Not The Best Weekend For The UFC
Like a lot of sports fans, we only recently started keeping an eye on this whole UFC business, approaching it gingerly, with as much optimism as one can have for anything that prominently features Joe Rogan. The last two weeks have been a blitz of positive publicity, with an oddly fawning Sports Ill...

We Hope You Nailed The Exacta
At the Hollywood Park horse racing track over the weekend, they tried the above gimmick. Ignoring the rather disturbing "bikini women as racing animals" undertone — the runners don't even seem to have names, including "Blazin' Blondie" and "Kieska" — we can't quite get past the announcer's "most of ...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. FMLB with Nate Ravitz: How come my baseball fantasies include elves and unicorns? • Noon. Stanley Cup with EJ Hradek: He once got our dead battery goin by mixin' bird feces and spit, cause there's like acids in it, eh? • 2 p.m....

Jose Canseco, Keeping Us Entertained For Nearly A Quarter Of A Century
Oh, 'tis a sad, sad day indeed when one is outwitted by Jose Canseco. As SportsbyBrooks so dutifly reported over the weekend, the man who once had a baseball bounce off his noggin for a home run has apparently convinced USA Today columnist Michael McCarthy that his non-existent TV reality show, Win ...

How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter
Problem: Nasty bloggers are spreading your 18-year-old pole vaulting daughter's picture across the Internets. (They can send all the letters to Ufford they want, but you can still find the picture here and here and about a million other places.) Solution: Scream your lungs out about it on the front ...

The Spurs, And The Playoffs, Are All About The Flop
If you needed concrete proof why many NBA fans have been dreading seeing the Spurs in the NBA Finals, last night's win over the Jazz provided it. It was a succession of flops, plods, slaps, free throws and Manu Ginobili. We know some just call this winning basketball; we think it's sucking all the l...

Mariners Are Making Their Move; Moose Out Front Should've Told Ya
Notes from a day in baseball:...

About Last Night
What you missed while enjoying the new side of Darth Vader... • NBA: Spurs lead Jazz 91-79 after three quarters in their ... wait, what? That's a final? • NHL: Year of the Duck ... Anaheim takes 1-0 lead over Senators. • MLB: Milestone for the Braves! No, Cox wasn't ejected; it was Jones' 350th home...

Stanley Cup Finals Pants Party: Ducks Vs. Senators
We're taking Memorial Day off, as you've surely noticed — though we're excited LeBron and the Jazz have given us something to pay attention to — but we are doing one post: A preview of the Stanley Cup Finals. They drop the puck tonight at 8 p.m. ET, with the Anaheim (Not Mighty) Ducks against the Ot...

One Series Is Alive ... Can We Make It Two?
As close as this series has been so far, we're just one Pistons victory away from it being totally lopsided. They've been so close on the road, most people believe the Cavs will be able to take at least a game at home. Except for Rasheed Wallace, who would lead you to believe that if the Pistons try...

To Watch Tonight...
• 8:00, TNT. NBA Playoffs. Detroit Pistons @ Cleveland Cavaliers. Another trip inside the playoff mind of Damon Jones. • 8:00, ESPN. MLB. Cleveland Indians @ Detroit Tigers. I can't help but root for a guy named Fausto. • 8:00, Comedy Central. Movie. Friday. Playing with my money is like playing wit...

Surprisingly, Norm Stewart Doesn't Speak Jive
Not that the black people in the video have anything to be particularly proud of, but ... Dear Lord, the white people. Coach Norm Stewart raps, and he's not the worst one. Greg Church, you're going to burn in hell for this....

We Miss You, Bo
• A fantastic article on Bo Jackson, courtesy of PeteJayhawk. [KansasCity.com] • This will make UCLA fans proud. I think the jackhammer is a metaphor for something. [Bruins Nation] • I will not apologize for enjoying watching Maria Sharapova curse. [YouTube] • Some issues facing the UFC. [100% Injur...