mac Page 96 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It Sure Looks Like Brian Wilson's Pal The Machine Had A Lovely Day After The Closer's Hair-Metal Birthday Bash
About an hour and a half after the Brian Wilson Hair-Metal Birthday Extravaganza gallery was posted this time yesterday, tipster Kevin F. chimed in to say, "the beard's b-day has some nice pics, but the video from the baseball game the next day was better. The Machine streaks through the bleachers...

Vince Carter Reminds Us That He's Still Vince Carter
A chin-strapped, goateed Vince Carter took off against the Thunder last night and, with a quick spin-move into the block and a graceful reverse dunk, returned us all to a time when he was Half Amazing. Carter has been in the league for 12 years and he's still averaging close to 15 points per game ...

India, Pakistan, And The Hopeful Futility Of Cricket Diplomacy
One early spring day in 2007, a curious group of worshipers gathered at Mahakaleshwar Jyotirlinga, an 11th century temple in Madhya Pradesh, India. They came not to pray for blessings for themselves or their families, but for something that at the moment seemed much more important....

We Heard From The Robot, And It Wrote A Better Story About That Perfect Game
This morning we covered Will Roberts, the University of Virginia player who threw a perfect game yesterday. More specifically, the game story at GWSports.com, which only bothered to mention the little fact of 27-up-27-down in the penultimate paragraph....

This Woman Crashed A Car With 54 Bags Of Heroin In Her Vagina
Karin Mackaliunas of Scranton, Pennsylvania could be a character on The Office — if they had a character who stuffs 54 bags of heroin, cash, empty bags, and pills in her vagina and then crashes a car. Bloated much?… [Jalopnik] ...

Kendrick Perkins Will Not Win An Oscar For Pretending To Be Happy In OKC
God, that's heartbreaking, isn't it? Going from a title favorite, where you actually like all the guys on your team, to a talented-but-unready Thunder squad. Perk couldn't even fake a smile for the welcome-to-the-team photoshoot....

Topless Italian Soccer Player Headbutts Fully Dressed British Coach
Tottenham Hotspur traveled to Italy to face AC Milan in the UEFA equivalent of the Sweet Sixteen today. It was a chippy game which Tottenham won after Aaron Lennon broke away and assisted Peter Crouch on the game's lone goal with about 10 minutes left....

Pat Burrell Is The Machine. Fact.
In a post titled "Pat Burrell Says Hello!," BarStool Sports has seemingly put to rest any questions about the identity of Brian Wilson's special gimp-gear-laden pal, affectionately called The Machine....

Some Chickenshit SEC School Complained About Alabama's Fax-Cam Girls
An unnamed SEC school filed a complaint with the conference over the girls Bama was using to retrieve faxes and post names on Signing Day. Mike Slive chided Alabama's AD. Oh, this gets the SEC to act swiftly. [AP]...

Alabama Livens Up Staid Fax-Cam With Sex Appeal
Bama's doing the traditional webcam-pointed-at-their-fax-machine for National Signing Day. Boring, until you notice the "talent" they've got retrieving the incoming faxes. [via EDSBS]...

The Myth Of America's Team
What is America's team? Does a team that symbolizes blue collar struggle or no-frills democracy best define our nation? Or is it the wealthiest team with the biggest stadium in the biggest state? Or is it possible that this is all bullshit?...

Here's Video Of The Time Brian Wilson Made Lopez Tonight Watchable For Nine Minutes
Brian Wilson, San Francisco Giants closer and medium through which people can communicate with The Machine, went on George Lopez's television show the other night. He was dressed like a boat captain. Likes: Old Spice and Red Lobster. Dislikes: Water....

How Low Can Joe Paterno Go? What Coaches Do When They Hang Out
Former Texas A&M Coach R.C. Slocum seems like a stand-up guy. That's why we think he won't mind us highlighting some of his favorite photos through the years, as posted on his Facebook page....

Video-Chat With Brian Wilson And Wait For An Appearance From "The Machine"
VYou has just launched "The Players Clubhouse" section where you, friendly voyeur, can interact with Brian Wilson, Josh Hamilton, Torii Hunter, and David Ortiz. Please ask Hamilton how many of those giant books he's used for cutting lines. [VYou]...

There Was A Damn Good Ending To A Football Game That Damn Near Nobody Watched
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

SHOTY Semifinals: No. 3 Karen F. Owen Vs. No. 7 The Machine
Our lone upset in the quarterfinals was a big one: The Machine edged out LeBron James, dropping the No. 2 seed. No. 3 Karen F. Owen defied Bodog's odds and sadly took out Dude Being Blown By A Dog. Alas....

SHOTY Quarterfinals: No. 2 LeBron James vs. No. 7 The Machine
There's no real tale of the tape to run through in this first SHOTY quarterfinal matchup, but if there were, you couldn't help but note that The Machine (probably) has one more title than LeBron does....

Russell Westbrook Posterizes Shane Battier With Vicious Slam
Midway through last night's Thunder-Rockets game, Kevin Durant swung the ball out to Russell Westbrook who drove straight to the hoop and elevated for a dunk that straight embarrassed alleged defensive maestro Shane Battier....

Alabama Gas Station Makes Shopping For Contraception, Saban Photos Easier
Shopping season is upon us and tipster Nick B. sends in a suggestion for those looking to procure pre-framed images of Alabama Crimson Tide head coaches: Just find the jimmy hats....

Nevada Fans See Boise Drivin' 'Round Town With The BCS Bid They Love, And They're Like, F*ck You
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....