C’mon, man. You can’t, just... drink it, after.
Schalke hosted Hertha Berlin in a Bundesliga match this past Saturday. The match featured one goal, one yellow card, and one Hertha fan calmly stroking his dick in front of god and everyone in the middle of the stands:
The things that sneak through at the end of 56-3 football games:
The Phillies held a press conference today to introduce Gabe Kapler as the team’s new manager. It was Kapler’s first time speaking to the assembled Philadelphia media, and he got a good introduction into a major part of his new job.
Sport Clube Gaucho are a Brazilian third-division side who haven’t been relevant since they briefly made the first division in the 1980s. That changed, though, when four players had their contracts rescinded after a video showing one of them jerking off two of his teammates in the club showers leaked. The three…
John Calipari was clearly feelin’ it during the Wildcats’ big 82-77 win over Georgia today.
So I was reading this Guardian piece on beatin’ it. (Or, depending on the genitals you possess, um...“opening your ham wallet?” Jesus, that’s a terrible euphemism.) It features statistics on the types of people who beat and don’t beat it, how and when they beat it (if they indeed beat it), how often and for how long…
“Does he keep it lubricated, or...” Sixers color man Alaa Abdelnaby wants to know some very intimate details about Steph Curry.
Before we get to the Funbag, I gotta talk about how shitty this Will Smith concussion movie looks. I swear it got made strictly because Will Smith wanted to try out a new accent. It looks like 120 minutes of people warning Accent Will Smith about stuff.
Technically, he's still using his hand to score, just in a bit of a different way.
Maybe you saw this letter from a concerned hockey mom in this week's Dear Prudence advice column on Slate:
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering the NFL, stoner poop stories, old-man voices, and more.
Former MLB outfielder and current Fox Sports 1 talking head Gabe Kapler is a man who possesses a lot of knowledge on how to live a healthy lifestyle, knowledge which he often dispenses on his personal blog, Kaplifestyle.com. A recent post about the many uses for coconut oil contains some of Kapler's most important…
Time for your letters: