mediocrities Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Had A Seventh-Grade English Teacher Grade Rick Reilly's Poem
Remember last week, when Rick Reilly tried to pass off this stupid poem as a sports column? Since he's an adult who gets paid an exorbitant amount of money to write about sports, Reilly was rightly lambasted by most everyone who saw his poem. But we wanted to give Reilly's poetic skills a chance to ...
Holy Shit, Look At Jay Mariotti's Shoes
This picture comes to us from a reader who spotted Jay with a lady friend outside of the Club Monaco clothing store in Santa Monica, Calif., yesterday. Our tipster tells us that that Jay was "slumped on a bench" wearing a "sad/pouty look on his face" before his companion emerged and led him inside t...
The Fish Stink From The Head: Is Jeffrey Loria the Worst Owner in Sports?
Now that the 2013 baseball season is under way, let’s take a moment to commemorate the first anniversary of one of the biggest shakedowns in the history of the game—and the con artist who pulled it off: Jeffrey Loria....
Report: James Dolan Fired A Security Guard Who Didn't Recognize Him Because James Dolan Is Awful
Knicks owner James Dolan is an asswipe and a schmuck, and according to the New York Post, he is also a giant asshole. A source tells the Post that this past Sunday, Dolan was denied access into the Delta Sky 360 club in Madison Square Garden by security guard Fiordaliza Hernandez because Dolan didn'...
Rob Dibble Fired From High School Coaching Job Because He Sucked At It
Rob Dibble has something new to add to the list of things he sucks at, which now reads: not being a misogynist, knowing anything about arm injuries, and coaching high school baseball. ...
![Paterno Apologist Reveals Identity Of One Of Jerry Sandusky's Victims, Says He Was Hacked [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/q8roeqgitopsujfwg4bs.jpg)
Paterno Apologist Reveals Identity Of One Of Jerry Sandusky's Victims, Says He Was Hacked [UPDATED]
We told you yesterday about filmmaker John Ziegler's lunatic shouting tour to promote his jailhouse interview with Jerry Sandusky. Ziegler had hoped to use that interview to help rescue Joe Paterno and other Penn State officials from allegations that they covered up Jerry Sandusky's sex crimes again...
Who Is This Paterno Apologist Who Keeps Making An Ass Of Himself On TV?
If the name John Ziegler doesn't register with you, enlighten yourself by reading the late David Foster Wallace's lengthy 2005 profile of him in The Atlantic. Ziegler, a former talk-radio host who's now a documentary filmmaker, has been making the media rounds the last couple of days because he rece...
Throughout Its Storied History, Georgetown-Syracuse Has Featured Some Very Mediocre Players
This afternoon marks the last time Georgetown will ever play in Syracuse while both are members of the Big East. A rivalry that began in 1980 and has been one of the game's most reliably entertaining for years, Orange and Hoya fans alike packed the Carrier Dome today and sent the teams off with the ...
What One Writer Learned At Bleacher Report University
Nick Bond, writing for our friends at The Classical, recently went through the training program at Bleacher Report, a sort of orc pit out of which all B/R writers must climb before they write for the site. Bond's entire piece is well worth your time, but the best artifact is this horrifying paragra...
The Cowboys Took A Swipe At The NHL On Twitter, But The Dallas Stars (Eventually) Gave It Right Back
Hockey's back! (We think.) And no one in Dallas gives a shit! (Which actually might be true.) Ah, but when you've won just one playoff game in 16 years—and counting!—it's probably not a good idea to throw shade at one of your neighbors the way the Dallas Cowboys did on Twitter yesterday morning:...
2012 Deadspin Hall Of Fame Nominee: Lynn Hoppes
His body of work as ESPN's senior Jonas Brothers correspondent had been impressive long before last year. But 2012 was when Lynn Hoppes really set himself apart. He told us how great the party was. He hired Sarah Phillips. He told us about Michael Bolton's hole-in-one. He copied shit verbatim from W...
<em>Men's Journal</em>'s Skip Bayless Article Contains The Saddest Paragraph In Recent Memory
Skip Bayless, as a major member of the sports discourse, is a lamentable thing. He gets an enormous amount of airtime to manufacture controversy, and his style of vacant carnival-barking is, if not actively lowering the intelligence of your average daytime ESPN-viewer, at least taking up time that c...
Michael Wilbon Is A Gutless, Starfucking Crybaby Troll
For the past three decades, Mike Wilbon has earned a living barely disguising his contempt for you, the filthy peasant sports fan. Whether boasting to the world how unsurprised he was about Sean Taylor being murdered, or chastising you for looking to him for gossip from his White House partygoing, o...
The 7 Stages Of A Bobby Valentine Meltdown
The worst part of Bobby Valentine's soon-to-be-over slow-motion train wreck with the Red Sox is its predictability. To say that Bobby Valentine has never gracefully handled a losing season would only obscure the fact that he's never gracefully handled any season. (Even during the salad days with the...
This Makes Too Much Terrible Sense: Isiah Thomas Is Up For A Studio Gig At ESPN
Is ESPN just trolling us? Phil Mushnick reported in The New York Post last week that Isiah Thomas is a "candidate for a studio position with ESPN," and a spokesman confirmed with USA Today that he had an audition....
FIRE THIS ASSHOLE
This is Roger Goodell. He's the commissioner of the NFL. Someone, please, FIRE THIS ASSHOLE....
Here's Chris Kluwe Explaining Why He Wrote Today's Response To An Anti-Gay Marriage Politician
Earlier today, we published a letter from Vikings Punter Chris Kluwe to a Maryland legislator who tried to use his position of influence to silence Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo, who has spoken out in favor of a Maryland ballot initiative that would legalize gay marriage....
"They Won't Magically Turn You Into A Lustful Cockmonster": Chris Kluwe Explains Gay Marriage To The Politician Who Is Offended By An NFL Player Supporting It
Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo has spoken out in favor of a Maryland ballot initiative that would legalize gay marriage. Yahoo has published a letter that Maryland state delegate Emmett C. Burns Jr. wrote last week to Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti, urging him to "inhibit such expressi...
How Not To Be The Biggest Asshole In Media: 4 Lessons I Learned From Meeting Jay Mariotti And Reading His Awful Book
It's been almost two years since Jay Mariotti last wrote a sports column or appeared on ESPN. In that time, sports media's ur-controversialist—a pioneer of the sportswriters-being-dicks-on-television genre—has pleaded no contest to misdemeanor stalking and assault-related charges stemming from a hai...
Tim Kurkjian, George Will, And Charles Krauthammer Host World's Most Insufferable Lunch
Syndicated political columnist Charles Krauthammer decided to phone in his pre-Memorial Day column, and, in turn, wound up introducing us to the world's most insufferable get-together. He presents:...