men Page 317 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

HOLY SHIT GIANT RAT IMPALED ON PITCHFORK
Let's stop worrying about earthquakes and hurricanes (and, for the east coast, natural disaster inferiority) and devote some time to the problem of the giant, possibly mutant rats living underneath our buildings....

Sally Jenkins's Pat Summitt Piece Will Break Your Heart
Jenkins, the longtime Washington Post writer, is one of Summitt's best friends. She discloses that in her piece, which you should read now....

Please Send Us Your Fantasy Football Correspondence With The Biggest Dickheads In Your League
Some of you may be familiar with our "Life Lessons" series, featuring rec-league amateur athletes who take their weekly kickball/softball/frisbee golf games waaay too seriously and, in turn, suck all the joy out of these activities for their teammates. These submissions were phenomenal, but I have a...

Pat Summitt Diagnosed With Dementia, Will Still Coach This Season (Updated With Summitt's Taped Statement)
Sad news out of Knoxville: CBS's Gregg Doyel reports that Pat Summitt—head coach of Tennessee's women's basketball team and the most successful coach in NCAA history—has been diagnosed with dementia. She's just 59 years old. ...

Dear Grantland: Why Won't You Let Yourself Be Loved?
In the absence of a comment space on ESPN's Grantland website, Deadspin continues to supply a space for Grantland readers to share their feedback. Please send corrections and comments to [email protected], subject "Dear Grantland."...

The Rush To Write Off Terrelle Pryor As Another Raiders Bust Is On
There was something predictable about Oakland's selection of Terrelle Pryor in today's supplemental draft, and it wasn't the pick itself: it was the mad rush among pundits to point out the inevitability of the Raiders taking a guy with a spotty past. It's the laziest sort of joke, and one your 50-so...

It's Only The Second Week Of NFL Preseason Games, And Todd Haley Is Already Pissed Off
The Baltimore Ravens defeated the Kansas City Chiefs 31-13 last night. That final score was seasoned with two Ravens touchdowns in the final two minutes....

Cockblocked At Catholic School!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Care To Read Another Lengthy Evisceration Of Grantland?
"What could have been high-concept—The New Yorker for sports, or something similar but more fun—is instead a cross between kitty litter mags Vanity Fair and New York Magazine at its absolute best and a shitty buddy blog for sports and entertainment at its worst." [BryanJoiner.com]...

Roger Clemens Handed Out Some Souvenirs At His Trial
It's been a month since a mistrial was declared in Roger Clemens' perjury case, and yet the misconduct just won't end. A group of court security guards are under investigation for accepting signed baseballs from Clemens, which is not a thing that is ok....

"Bunny-Fucking," "Cockbrisket," And Serial Commas: A Copy Editor's Guide To Nicholson Baker's Filthy New Book
Below is the copy editor's style sheet for Nicholson Baker's House of Holes, which The New York Times has called both a "porny Alice in Wonderland" and a "hideously glorious filthfest" (Sam Lipsyte said the latter; Sam Lipsyte would know) and which accomplishes what all great modern literature aspir...

Sports And Comedy, Always Secretly Intertwined
One more Deadspin Comedy Week submission, from clever commenter AzureTexan....

Comedians: Cockblocked By Michael Vick!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Comedy Week curator Luke Cunningham got these four bonus stories from working comedians, so enjoy. Off we go....

Cockblocked By Your Own Underwear!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

This Evening: Hope Solo, In A Bathrobe, In A Water Fountain
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 10, the day we wish we had never heard of subway parties. Photo via @hopesolo, who's apparently posing nude for ESPN The Magazine's "Body Issue." Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

What's All This About Tim Tebow Needing Hormone Replacement Therapy?
I'm a little confused. I wouldn't have believed Tim Tebow would need hormone replacement therapy — he seems like a healthy young man in the prime of his life. Frankly, I would have been shocked if someone told me Tim Tebow needed hormone replacement therapy. But it's a funny funny world we live in, ...

Deadspin Comedy Week FAQs, With Your Host Luke X. Cunningham
Hi. I'm Luke. I'll be your guest curator for Deadspin Comedy Week. Here are some FAQs about it you may or may not have about it, but I'll answer them anyway and introduce myself....

This Lady Left Two Used Tampons Under Her Seat At Wrigley Field
Perhaps one is free to leave trash under one's seat at movie theaters or stadiums: popcorn, Pepsi, (Neifi) Perez memorabilia—but we ought to draw the line well short of endometrial cells....

Matt Stairs: Spectacularly Just Good Enough
Matt Stairs, who on Wednesday announced his retirement, was the character actor who had a few decent roles in the 1970s and played solid bit parts ever after. He was a Ned Beatty of a player. He had a fine career. Always on the roster for his offense, he delivered above-average results with the bat ...

Usage Note: "It's The Dallas Football Cowboys," Says Jason Stupid Garrett
We already flagged the absurdity of Dallas Cowboys coach Jason Garrett's announcement that this year's rookies will have to earn the right to wear the logo of a team that's hasn't won anything since those rookies were in the Pop Warner Tiny-Mite division. Go ahead, treat the Cowboy star as a rah-rah...