miamiheat Page 45 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Free Darko Playoff Pants Party: Heat Vs. Bulls
With last night's wrapup of the regular season, the playoff matchups are set. There are eight conference quarterfinal contests, and the whole shebang kicks off this Saturday....
It's Clear That The World Needs Shaq Now More Than Ever
Of course you've seen him in hot pursuit of criminals in the Shaqmobile, and it's no secret that he snaps into action whenever President Bush activates his signal watch, helping to preserve the honor and dignity of this nation's highest office. And sure he can bust through walls. But now here's Shaq...
Mission Accomplished
So if we're understanding Shaq correctly, the past few NBA MVP awards have been tainted, but being lauded by the current Commander-In-Chief is juuuust fine. No taint there....
NBA Roundup: Love Shaq, He's Our Little Love Shaq
Notes from Sunday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
Shaq On Taint
After the Heat lost to Dallas on Thursday, a reporter engaged Shaq in conversation about Dirk Nowitzki's MVP candidacy. Shaq, sensing the opportunity to get some things off his chest, went off about how the award selection process and said that Steve Nash's last two MVP awards were "tainted."...
Tim Hardaway's Deeper Hole
OK, so here's what we want to happen today: Every half hour, we want someone to call Tim Hardaway to ask him about his comments about hating gay people. You can ask him the same question every time, every half hour. It'll be great, because he'll find a way to dig himself an even deeper hole each tim...
Tim Hardaway Wants Only Straight Men To See His Penis
So, by now, everyone has heard former NBA point guard Tim Hardaway's comments on the Dan LeBatard show yesterday, but just in case you're up for some caveman rhetoric — he'll have the roast duck with the mango salsa — here's the full audio of the interview....
Hey, The Heat Are Over At .500. Wake Riley.
Dan LeBatard, handsome as ever, brings up what everyone's thinking: Pat Riley's kind of a dick when it comes to abandoning his team when times are tough. Sure, he had some physical issues, but it seems obvious by now that it's not a coincidence that when the Heat are struggling, Riley's "recovering,...
Shaq Keeps The World Safe, One Escalade At A Time
It is clear, at this point, that in his dreams Shaquille O'Neal flies over our major cities, combing the streets and alleys from up high, looking for evildoers to apprehend and, if necessary, kung fu chop. Sunday morning, after Shaq had returned from a game in Chicago, he and his bodyguard — whom we...
NBA Roundup: Shaq No Longer Gets To Wear Suits During Games
Notes on Wednesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
NBA Roundup: Heavy Is The Head That Wears The Crown
Notes on Wednesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
NBA Roundup: Can AI Save The Heat?
Notes on Wednesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......
NBA Roundup: The Hyperextended Heat
Notes from Tuesday's games in the National Basketball Association:...
NBA Roundup: Ming Went The Strings Of My Heart
Notes from today's games in the National Basketball Association:...
NBA Roundup: Ring Of Fire
The NBA opened its regular season on Tuesday with two games ... hardly enough to action to get our basketball engines revved. But they did involve the Lakers and Heat, so let's examine Day One with a little tiny NBA Roundup....
Five Tiny Tidbits On: The Miami Heat
It's hard to believe, but the NBA season is just around the corner. So come with us now as we present five tiny tidbits on each team, just to get you in the mood. Today we continue with the Southeast Division, so do us a favor and send your tips to [email protected]....
Not Shaq And Kobe AGAIN?
The Christmas Day NBA doubleheader is the unofficial kickoff of the NBA season; it's typically the first nationally televised network game, the league's highest-profile moment, its chance to shine....
A Little Mo' Zo
Alonzo Mourning has announced his intentions to return to the Miami Heat to help Jason Williams and Antoine Walker defend their NBA championship. Mourning was reportedly getting some attention and offers from other teams, including the San Antonio Spurs, but in the end, the allure of playing another...
Championship Parades Are No Fun
We've always wondered what it would be like to go to a championship parade for one of our favorite teams, but every time we get excited about the notion, the bastards go and, say, lose eight games in a row and ruin it for us. But still. We imagine it Albert Pujols riding by in a float, throwing us c...
You Stay White, Miami
At the end of yesterday's victory parade for the Miami Heat, Shaq grabbed the microphone and asked, "Who wanna see Coach Riley dance?" For reasons I can't begin to understand, the people of Miami responded affirmatively, and then the following took place:...