minnesota Page 53 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Vikings Punter (And Crossfit Fan) Chris Kluwe Trolled The Shit Out of Gawker Last Night
Yesterday, Gawker's Hamilton Nolan wrote a post that was critical of the Crossfit™ workout regimen for (among other things) being an expensive, injury-inducing cult fad. Nolan was subsequently greeted in the discussion by a lengthy reply from "Loate," who identified himself as "a currently active NF...
Guy Sues Cris Carter Because Cris Carter Allegedly Took A Bunch Of His Money And Didn't Record The Rap Song He Was Promised
The market's not what it once was. Back in the 90s and 2000s, we were promised pain-free growth. Stick that money in Sun, son, and watch it inflate. Now the times are hard. One must turn to unconventional investment opportunities. "Emerging markets," as they say in the business. Markets such as rap ...
Man Ruins Perfectly Good Sweater With Tribute To Joe Mauer
Sometimes the wastefulness of Americans is downright disgusting. We have homeless folks who would be eternally grateful for the shirts off our collective backs and this selfish jerk just decides to ruin his sweater by cutting into it so it would look like a Joe Mauer jersey....
Noted Pirates Fan Captain Jack Sparrow Is At Today's Twins-Orioles Game
Notorious international criminal Captain Jack Sparrow is in, of all places, Minneapolis today, and while his favorite team may be Pittsburgh's Bucs it appears he has a soft spot for American League ball as well—proving that even terrorism, grand theft, and murder need a day off. It leads us to ask ...
Minnesota Governor Says Football Players Get Arrested Because They're Basically Soldiers Returning From War
It's hard to understate how shocking Adrian Peterson's arrest is in Minnesota. It's just a misdemeanor, for a weird sole charge of resisting arrest, and the details of the incident sound less than damning, but this is AP. All Day. Purple Jesus. Peterson has never had even a whiff of trouble, and by ...
Triathlete Hospitalized After Otter Attack
So, here's reason #245 we'll never attempt a triathlon: angry otters. A Minnesota woman was practicing for next month's Duluth Triathlon in a nearby lake, when she was set upon by an adorable furry little daggertoothed killing machine....
Fans, Players, And Broadcasters Alike Freaked Out When Lightning Struck Rangers Ballpark In Arlington
Mother Nature dropped by Rangers Ballpark unannounced last evening, unleashing a thunderclap at the Rangers-Twins game that evacuated the bowels of all in attendance. Twins outfielder Denard Span claimed "That's the loudest noise I've ever heard. I thought Jesus was comin!" on his Twitter account, ...
Here's Terrible Video That Supposedly Shows Adrian Peterson Getting Handcuffed
There's not a whole lot to glean from this video, but here it is anyway. It looks like a black man is either in cuffs or on his way to being in cuffs, and could possibly be struggling. TMZ helpfully directs your attention to this black man and labels him as Adrian Peterson. the woman recording the i...
Adrian Peterson Reportedly Shoved Off-Duty Cop Working Security At Night Club
According to TMZ, Kase Smith, public information officer for the Houston police department, claims Peterson shoved an off-duty cop who was working as a bouncer in the club he visited last night. The officer/bouncer reportedly told Peterson it was time to leave and Peterson apparently ignored the in...
Reports: Vikings RB Adrian Peterson Arrested, Charged With Resisting Arrest [UPDATE]
Details are still sketchy but according to the Houston Chronicle, Adrian Peterson may still be in a Houston jail (he's since been released on $1,000 bond) in connection with resisting arrest charges....
Brandon Roy Comes Out Of Retirement To Play For The Minnesota Timberwolves
Brandon Roy was, not so long ago, one of the NBA's premier players. He was a smooth-handling shooting guard who could pass, nail step-back jumpers, and explode to the rim with surprising athleticism. It seemed all but certain that Roy would become one of the defining players of this era, taking a s...
Zach Parise And Ryan Suter Slip Through A Massive NHL Loophole, Before It Closes In A Few Months
The Minnesota Wild signed both Zach Parise and Ryan Suter yesterday, and more power to them. Hockey's always better when a Minnesota team is good. The formerly thrifty Wild already have the second-highest payroll in the league, but their salary cap hits won't be nearly as brutal as they ought to be....
The Minnesota Wild Land Zach Parise And Ryan Suter
As reported by the Star Tribune's Michael Russo, the Minnesota Wild have pulled off quite the NHL free agency coup. The team has agreed to terms on a 13-year contracts with defensman Ryan Suter and forward Zach Parise...
The Royals Gave Up A Run On A Hit That Started Off Closer To The On-Deck Circle Than The Pitcher's Mound
It's been a rough existence for the Kansas City Royals. Sure they had some fun times there in the 80's, but really, on the whole, it's been kind of a mess. So, you can't be too surprised if you're a Royals fan and see this in the 5th inning of the first game of a day-night doubleheader with the Twi...
Twins Fan Catches Foul Ball Without Interrupting Cell Phone Conversation
"Right. Uh huh. Yeah. Hey. Yeah. Oh, boy. ... Here it ... I gotta ... Huh. ... OK, right. Oh, I know, totally. [Here you go, hun.] What's that? Oh, nothing. Listen, lemme call you back."...
Twins Fans Grasp Coprophilia-Based Humor Better Than Any Other MLB Fanbase
Francisco Liriano fell to 1-7 on the season as the Cubs rocked the Twins in Minneapolis Sunday. While some Minnesota fans think the team as a whole is playing like shit, insiders point to the crappy performance by several players—Liriano and fellow pitcher Carl Pavano among them. Don't count the Tw...
The Twins Couldn't Even Give Jeff Manship A Jersey With His Name Spelled Correctly
Poro Jffe Mansihp. Hs'e bene ni teh Minnestoa orginzatoin sinec 2006, adn hs'e boucned bakc adn forht bewteen teh minros adn teh Twisn sinec maknig hsi bgi-leauge deubt ni '09. Hee wsa juts callde upp fro teh firts tiem thsi seasno Mya 27, adn lsat nihgt wsa hsi firts appearacne ni na awya gaem, os ...
Adrian Peterson Is Ranting On Twitter About America's Godlessness
Adrian Peterson is a great, great running back. This we knew. But we never knew before today that the young man was a budding Thomas Aquinas....
Vikings Owner Would Like To Thank The Fans, Who Will Pay For More Than Half Of His New Stadium
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Zygi Wilf wants to kiss Vikings fans after he got a sweetheart deal....
Minnesota Legislature Votes To Hand Over $800 Million So Shitty Football Team Can Build Shitty New Stadium
After several failed proposals and years of threats to relocate, it looks like the Vikings will be staying in Minnesota. The state Senate today passed a bill that would make way for a $975 million stadium, with the Vikings owners kicking in $50 million—a whole $50 million!—more than they had been sa...