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Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Minnesota Vikings
Some people are fans of the Minnesota Vikings. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Minnesota Vikings. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here. For a rebuttal, see Vikings punter Chris Kluwe's "Why Your Web...

Minnesota State Head Football Coach Todd Hoffner Reportedly Booked For "Using Minors In A Sexual Performance"
The possible charges for Minnesota State head football coach Todd Hoffner continue to grow as the Mankato Free Press is now reporting he's been booked on requested charges of using minors in a sexual performance....

Minnesota State Head Football Coach Busted On Child Porn Charges
Minnesota State head football coach Todd Hoffner faces child pornography charges after being booked by Eagle Lake cops at his home today. The Division II Mavericks' coach has been on administrative leave since Friday after university officials escorted him off the practice field....

This Is Less Than Encouraging: Adrian Peterson Has Been Told Not To Make Cuts
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Fuck it, AP's cutting anyway....

Timberwolves Blogger Tim Allen Has Died
The sportswriting community has lost another one of its members. Tim Allen, a writer for CanisHoopus.com, an SBNation blog dedicated to the Minnesota Timberwolves, died on Monday night. He was 29. Canis Hoopus has more information, but few details are available at this time....

Vikings Punter Chris Kluwe Explains Why He Thinks Joey Porter Is "A Frothing Dingleberry"
There was so much goodness in our rollicking Chris Kluwe live chat from the other night that it almost seems unfair to single out just one of Kluwe's responses. But one answer in particular caught my eye and demanded some additional details:...

Minnesota Vikings Punter Chris Kluwe Is Here To Take Your Questions
OK, gang. As promised, Chris Kluwe is ready to take shit from you. He's at the Vikings' training camp in Mankato, Minn., waiting on food and hoping a thunderstorm doesn't knock down the dorm the team's staying in. Ask him anything about anything by firing away down in the discussion below. ...

Join Us Tonight At 10 For What Should Be A Lively Discussion With Minnesota Vikings Punter Chris Kluwe
Aside from being an NFL punter, Chris Kluwe is many things. Video gamer. Picture of calm. Maker of parodies. Defender of punters everywhere. Gawker comment troll. And at 10 p.m. (EDT), Kluwe will be right here taking questions directly from Deadspin readers. The floor down in the discussion will be ...

A.J. Pierzynski Has No Problem Calling Twins Pitcher Nick Blackburn A "Piece Of Shit" To His Face
A.J. Pierzynski is not the most popular ballplayer. This is, after all, the guy whose own manager said "If you play against A.J., you hate him. If you play with him, you hate him a little less." So should anyone really be surprised that upon scoring the tying run tonight against Minnesota, the Whi...

Vikings Punter (And Crossfit Fan) Chris Kluwe Trolled The Shit Out of Gawker Last Night
Yesterday, Gawker's Hamilton Nolan wrote a post that was critical of the Crossfit™ workout regimen for (among other things) being an expensive, injury-inducing cult fad. Nolan was subsequently greeted in the discussion by a lengthy reply from "Loate," who identified himself as "a currently active NF...

Guy Sues Cris Carter Because Cris Carter Allegedly Took A Bunch Of His Money And Didn't Record The Rap Song He Was Promised
The market's not what it once was. Back in the 90s and 2000s, we were promised pain-free growth. Stick that money in Sun, son, and watch it inflate. Now the times are hard. One must turn to unconventional investment opportunities. "Emerging markets," as they say in the business. Markets such as rap ...

Man Ruins Perfectly Good Sweater With Tribute To Joe Mauer
Sometimes the wastefulness of Americans is downright disgusting. We have homeless folks who would be eternally grateful for the shirts off our collective backs and this selfish jerk just decides to ruin his sweater by cutting into it so it would look like a Joe Mauer jersey....

Noted Pirates Fan Captain Jack Sparrow Is At Today's Twins-Orioles Game
Notorious international criminal Captain Jack Sparrow is in, of all places, Minneapolis today, and while his favorite team may be Pittsburgh's Bucs it appears he has a soft spot for American League ball as well—proving that even terrorism, grand theft, and murder need a day off. It leads us to ask ...

Minnesota Governor Says Football Players Get Arrested Because They're Basically Soldiers Returning From War
It's hard to understate how shocking Adrian Peterson's arrest is in Minnesota. It's just a misdemeanor, for a weird sole charge of resisting arrest, and the details of the incident sound less than damning, but this is AP. All Day. Purple Jesus. Peterson has never had even a whiff of trouble, and by ...

Triathlete Hospitalized After Otter Attack
So, here's reason #245 we'll never attempt a triathlon: angry otters. A Minnesota woman was practicing for next month's Duluth Triathlon in a nearby lake, when she was set upon by an adorable furry little daggertoothed killing machine....

Fans, Players, And Broadcasters Alike Freaked Out When Lightning Struck Rangers Ballpark In Arlington
Mother Nature dropped by Rangers Ballpark unannounced last evening, unleashing a thunderclap at the Rangers-Twins game that evacuated the bowels of all in attendance. Twins outfielder Denard Span claimed "That's the loudest noise I've ever heard. I thought Jesus was comin!" on his Twitter account, ...

Here's Terrible Video That Supposedly Shows Adrian Peterson Getting Handcuffed
There's not a whole lot to glean from this video, but here it is anyway. It looks like a black man is either in cuffs or on his way to being in cuffs, and could possibly be struggling. TMZ helpfully directs your attention to this black man and labels him as Adrian Peterson. the woman recording the i...

Adrian Peterson Reportedly Shoved Off-Duty Cop Working Security At Night Club
According to TMZ, Kase Smith, public information officer for the Houston police department, claims Peterson shoved an off-duty cop who was working as a bouncer in the club he visited last night. The officer/bouncer reportedly told Peterson it was time to leave and Peterson apparently ignored the in...
![Reports: Vikings RB Adrian Peterson Arrested, Charged With Resisting Arrest [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17s3q72lnjwbojpg.jpg)
Reports: Vikings RB Adrian Peterson Arrested, Charged With Resisting Arrest [UPDATE]
Details are still sketchy but according to the Houston Chronicle, Adrian Peterson may still be in a Houston jail (he's since been released on $1,000 bond) in connection with resisting arrest charges....

Brandon Roy Comes Out Of Retirement To Play For The Minnesota Timberwolves
Brandon Roy was, not so long ago, one of the NBA's premier players. He was a smooth-handling shooting guard who could pass, nail step-back jumpers, and explode to the rim with surprising athleticism. It seemed all but certain that Roy would become one of the defining players of this era, taking a s...