minnesota Page 62 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Denard Span Smacks His Own Mother! (With A Foul Ball)
A woman wearing a Denard Span jersey is plunked by a line drive off the bat of Denard Span. What kind of person wears a Denard Span jersey to a spring training game? Yep, it was his mom. [LoHud]...

Minnesota Twins: R.I.P. Baseball Anomaly, And Competitive Advantage
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Minnesota Twins....

Is Donovan McNabb Dicking The Eagles Around?
If you can think of a better explanation for stating he'd like to be traded to a team that has no intentions of trading for him, I'd like to hear it....

Resplendent Caddyshack Mascots To Pester Dumas-esque Heros: Minnesota-Xavier Open Thread
The Golden Gophers have a championship-winning coach and solid team play. Xavier's Jordan Crawford dunked on LeBron. This one should get the Bradley Center rocking. Order a thematically appropriate sandwich and comment — pretty sure that's what Sean Miller's doing....

American Legal System Officially Invested In Brett Favre's Status
In the middle of the StarCaps trial, the plaintiffs' attorney asked Brad Childress — under oath — who the Vikings quarterback will be. Sixth Amendment be damned, Favre's will-he-won't-he game is anything but a speedy trial. [Star Tribune]...

Joe Mauer's Imaginary Contract Has A Lot Of "I"s To Dot
Remember when Joe Mauer "agreed" to that 10-year contract over a month ago? Well, Mauer's agent plans to discuss the matter with Twins management very soon. Maybe. They're very close! (Yeah, they're not close.) [SN/Star-Tribune/NYT]...

Monster Dutch Reliever Hopes To Terrorize Twin Cities
The Twins have high hopes for Loek van Mil, a 7-foot-1 prospect from the Netherlands. Because betting on the freakishly tall foreigner has always worked out in other sports. [Pioneer Press]...

Dissecting The Favre Ad, And The Fan Who Placed It
Well, we got our hands on the full-page ad one fan took out in the Hattiesburg American to implore Brett Favre to return (ginormous version below). And let me say, he is just the worst type of person....

Al Jefferson Busted For DWI, Maybe Definitely
Certainly, some Al Jefferson with the same birthday as the Wolves center got pulled over and charged with a DWI last night. If Rand says it's so, then it's so. [Hennepin County Sheriff]...

StarCaps Case Takes Heller-esque Turn
A judge says that for Kevin and Pat Williams's cases to proceed, they have to prove they are employed by the NFL, while the league maintains they are solely Vikings employees. Does Deadspin LLP care to weigh in? [Star Tribune]...

Pat Neshek Gets Horrible Fan Mail
Really, the shocking thing about this letter is not that it was sent — autograph hounds represent the lowest phylum of baseball fan — but that this Twins enthusiast didn't ask for Kent Hrbek, Tony Oliva, and Walter Johnson, too....

Seantrel Henderson Won Signing Day
It's good to be a five-star recruit. The Minnesota product was flown to New York by the CBS College Sports Network to announce his choice. But that pales in comparison to the treatment his suitors gave him....

But Does It Have A Horrible Pun? You Brettcha!
Fans in Hattiesburg, Miss. (not Minnesota, mind you), have bought a billboard urging Favre to return to the Vikings. In the future, all human communication will take place via billboard. [Hattiesburg American, via RandBall]...

Take A Gander At Brett Favre's Disgusting Bruises
Bus Cook is emailing photos of Brett's black and blue parts to prove how banged up he was. Favre himself won't use it as an excuse for that interception, but don't worry....someone took care of that for him. [Jackson Clarion-Ledger]...

Last Night's Winner: Minnesotans
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Twins fans who locked up their franchise catcher for the next decade. It's not official, but what could possibly go wrong in the final seconds?...

Dear God, Make Me A Bi-Plane, So I Can Fly Farve, Far Far Away From Here
These "Airplanes (Bi-Plane) Handcrafted of Bud Light Limited Edition Viking Cans" will fly you to just within miles of your destination before getting intercepted in mid-air. Cash Only! [Craigslist, via]...

Dear Haiti, Here Are Some Ugly Shirts
Premature, unused Vikings (and Jets) conference championship gear is on its way to Haiti. So the Brett Favre coverage continues, in Port-au-Prince at least. [RandBall]...

Adrian Peterson's Fumbles Caused By French Fry Grease?
An anonymous reader sent us this very interesting photo of Adrian Peterson eating what appears to be a very slippery lunch of seafood and chips....just hours before he dropped the football three times in Sunday's NFC Championship game....

The Brett Favre Anti-Appreciation Society Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like all the Brett Favre haters who got exactly what they wanted at precisely the time they needed. You have two more wishes....

Your NFC Championship Open Thread
Supposedly there are more fellows playing in this game, going by the names of Bush, Peterson, Brees and others. That's not what I hear. All I hear is Favre Favre Favre....