mlb Page 524 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Have You Read Enough About This Guy Today?
Today's MLB Draft officially kicks off Stephen Strasburgapalooza, and despite the torrent of media coverage, most stories tackled one of two questions: How much will the Nationals pony up, and are No. 1 picks worth the money?...

Your Occasional Update On Witchcraft Tomfoolery In The AL East
A Boston-based Yankees fan litters grass from Yankee Stadium in Fenway Park to jinx the Sox, and the construction worker who planted a Boston jersey in the Bronx claims his hex is working. In his magical kingdom, maybe. [NY Post]...

Barry Bonds Is Available, Ladies
Barry Bonds' year-and-a-half long exile from baseball has given him the opportunity to spend a lot of time with his family—which might explain why his wife filed for divorce yesterday. [SF Chronicle]...

Why Scott Boras Isn't As Evil As You Think He Is
Tomorrow, Scott Boras begins the process of jimmying a record bonus out of the Nationals on behalf of Stephen Strasburg. Let's dispense with the usual frog-raining about baseball's superagent and see him for what he is: Scott Boras, labor revolutionary....

The Nationals Even Lose To Fireworks
Nationals Park sucks — we know that — so the franchise rewards those 200 people who shell out to watch another loss with fireworks. Nice gesture, until the Nationals, as always, managed to screw it up....

Does Mike Winters Look Like He's Kidding?
No, umpire Mike Winters was not fucking kidding you when he punched Matt Kemp out on strikes on Saturday and if you think he's fucking kidding you, then you're the one who is fucking kidding yourself....

All's Well That Ends Well With @TonyLaRussa (Update)
An unspecified Twitter loss is Tony La Russa's Animal Rescue Foundation's gain, which means that Twitter parodies are not only funny, but also save the world. Or at least the cuter part of it....

Bald Eagles Support The Preservation Of Tiger Stadium
Days after a commission ordered the destruction of Tiger Stadium and just hours after the wrecking crew rolled in, a court ordered a temporary halt until Monday, when the whole matter will return to court. Oh, Detroit. [Free Press]...

<em>Moneyball</em>’s Deep: How Baseball Prospectus Is Like The Oakland A’s
Under Billy Beane, the Oakland A's won by scraping together undervalued assets. Since the rest of baseball has started valuing assets properly, the A's are having a harder time. The same thing is happening to baseball's leading propeller-heads....

Adam LaRoche Is A F&*#ing Soldier
The Pirates first baseman on this week's Nate McLouth deal: "It's kind of like being with your platoon in a battle, and guys keep dropping around you." Kellen Winslow adds: "We don't care about nobody except this P." [ESPN]...

Today In Mets Health Calamities
Jose Reyes out indefinitely with a torn hamstring tendon. Also: Johan Santana contracts scarlet fever, team forced to burn down Citi Field to avoid contamination. [New York Daily News]...

The Mask Of Zaun-O
The Orioles' Gregg Zaun has been mocked all year as nothing but a "placeholder" for super-prospect Matt Wieters. The perennial backup catcher, however, outshines young Wieters and every other pro athlete in the most important category of all: Flash animation....

David Ortiz Suffering From Mr. Magoo Syndrome
There are already a million theories as to why David Ortiz has suddenly and cruelly turned into Junior Ortiz, but now David has one of his own to throw into the mix. He needs thicker glasses....

Your Last 300-Game Winner
Did you enjoy Randy Johnson's afternoon skewering of the Nationals? Because you'll probably never get a chance to see that again. (The 300th win part, not the Nationals getting skewered.) [Jayson Stark; Seattle Times]...

Jim Bowden’s (Extremely Brief) Return To Respectability
Jim Bowden, the disgraced ex-Nationals GM, stands accused of stealing ballplayers' bonus money. The team he built is on pace to lose 118 games. Naturally, ESPN wanted to hire him....

Yorvit Torrealba's Son Rescued From Kidnappers
The Colorado catcher's 11-year-old son and two of the boy's uncles were kidnapped in Venezuela, but escaped before any ransom was paid. The incident was kept quiet by police and MLB until it was resolved. (Safely, thank goodness.) [Denver Post]...

The Problem With Wang
All right that's enough, people. Chien-Ming Wang (pronounced "wong," by the way) has been in the major leagues five seasons now and it has been well established that his surname is an English euphemism for "penis." Ha ha, very funny....

Tony La Russa Is Not Laughing At Your Satire
Dugout genius Tony La Russa is suing Twitter, claiming he "suffered significant emotional distress" and "damage to his reputation" because of a fake La Russa account. Sheesh, can't the man take a few jokes about dead pitchers and drunk driving?...

Tiger Stadium To Be Demolished, And 80 People Care
It's already surrounded by empty vodka bottles, tattered blankets and, uh, hubcaps, and that was before an economic development board voted on Tuesday to tear down Tiger Stadium's last remnants....

Is This The End Of Tom Glavine?
Tommy Glavine was all set to make his major league debut this season, after fully rehabbing from offseason surgery and throwing 11 straight shutout innings in the minors—right before the Braves said, "Thanks, but no thanks."...