mlb Page 530 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Time Running Out To Bid On Bernie Madoff's Mets Tickets
Bernie Madoff's Opening Day Mets tickets are now on sale. Don't worry; nine innings with the San Diego Padres will only seem like a prison sentence....

The 'Boo Teixeira' Movement Seems To Be Losing Steam
And so we have an early indication of why Mark Teixeira chose the Yankees over the Orioles this offseason. Game 3 of the series today at Camden Yards: Good seats still available....

San Francisco Giants Advertising Copy Written By Giggling 12-Year-Olds
The Giants marketing department will apparently just write anything down on a piece of paper and consider their jobs done. Please leave all "ball"-based puns to the professionals. [Big League Stew]...

Why Do The Mets Hate Children?
There was a time when the New York Mets welcomed young children into their stadium with open arms, but now that they're in a new clean stadium and not some old junkyard....screw those kids....

OK You Pissants, Make Way For Randy Johnson
There's been little wailing and no gnashing of teeth in the Bay Area over Tim Lincecum's underwhelming '09 debut on Tuesday. That's because A. The Giants won, and B. Their headliner is actually starting tonight....

I'm Beginning To Suspect That Canadians Drink Too Much Beer
If you were wondering why the Blue Jays drew only 16,790 against the Tigers on Tuesday, this may have something to do with it: The Rogers Centre banned alcohol for that game....

Finally, A Video Game That Lets You Use Steroids
New online game from Addicting Games, Baseball Juiced, lets you roid up your players. The game is kind of crappy and doesn't seem to always work ... but maybe that's the point. [Badjocks.com]...

Drunken Joba Chamberlain And His 1920s-Era Football Shirt Now On Video
Compared to Sabathia's performance yesterday, this effort wasn't so bad. But the newly-released Joba Chamberlain DUI arrest video still cannot be good news for the 0-1 Yankees....

Yankees All Of A Sudden Don't Like Fan Interference
It's hard to imagine an opening day that could have gone better for the Orioles, and that doesn't just include the torrent of abuse they let loose on "Treasonous Tex."...

Your Team's Season Is Already Over
The Yankees offseason maneuvers are a complete and total disaster. They might as well have taken $340 million and dumped it in the Harlem River for all the good it did them. What a disgrace....

Johan Santana Has A Very Good Memory
Sorry to get all "Meet the Mets" on you today, but I noticed something bizarre during today's pregame that must be discussed—Johan Santana apparently has an individual handshake ritual for every player on his team....

Orioles Fans Prepared To Explain To Teixeira That All Is Forgiven
The weather looks fine for the Orioles home opener today against the Yankees (4 p.m., ET), with the forecast calling for scattered clouds, variable winds and a 95 percent chance of heavy cursing at Mark Teixeira....

Are You Ready To Welcome Your New Kansas City Overlords?
The New York Times has picked the Royals to win their division. Let that roll around on your tongue for a bit. Mmmm (cough). [New York Times]...

Your Opening Day Open(ing) Thread
Mets and Reds kick things off at 1:00 p.m., followed by Indians-Rangers, Yankees-Orioles, and whatever other games don't get rained out today. Pithy and informative comments may be left below. Welcome back, old friend. [Scoreboard]...

Jose Canseco Just Keeps Right On Blabbing
The Nostradamus of Steroids spoke to students on the USC campus this weekend and because he doesn't know how to do anything else, he decided to take some more shots at current, possibly juiced ballplayers....

Finally ... Baseball Will Save Us All!
Thank goodness it's here. It's been a rough 2009 so far, but it is finally time for the baseball season to arrive and soothe our weary souls....

Amazing Memorabilia That No One Wants
How would you like to own a poster of Syrian President Bashar Al-Assad, autographed by Milwaukee Brewers "non-roster invitee" Trot Nixon? Don't touch it—it's mint. [Sweet Merciful Crap]...

Space Cadet In The Outfield?
Ryan Braun swears he saw Manny Ramirez hanging out with fans in the left field bleachers during the Brewers-Dodgers exhibition game last night. Maybe they just told him to play really deep? [Brew Beat]...

Fake Twittering - You're Doing It Wrong
Unless you're clever or funny, creating a fake Twitter account is sort of a waste of time. Take, for instance, the fake Twitter account of Boston Red Sox shortstop Jed Lowrie....

Sometimes A Baseball Game Is Just A Baseball Game
Baseball as a metaphor for recession and these troubled times? Maybe, maybe not, but reading about baseball players attempting to wax philosophical on the matter is always entertaining. [Vanity Fair]...