mlb Page 555 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Cheer Day In Philadelphia! (This Will Not End Well)
Ah Philadelphia, Land of 10,000 Losses; where they throw batteries at J.D. Drew and boo Santa Claus. Derision falls like rain here, and everyone gets soaked; especially the Phillies, who are in danger of slip slidin' away in the NL East. The reason? According to Jimmy Rollins, it's fan negativity. H...
The Manny Wigs Are Here; Get 'Em While They Last
Now available at the Dodgers Pro Shop, finally; Manny Ramirez dreadlock wigs. The Dodgers were quite crafty with the release of this item; they're here just in time for back-to-school shopping. Backpack? Check. Binder? Check. Manny wig? Si! If the team wants to have any hope of outbidding the Yankee...
This Could Be It For Tom Glavine
Tom Glavine is out for the season. Dude tore up some ligaments in his elbow and says he won't come back if he has to get that ligament completely replaced. The 42-year-old went back to the Braves, turning down more money from the Mets to play where he had kept his offseason home. But he hasn't play...
Daryle Ward Will Eat Your Children In Broad Daylight
The Chicago Cubs have just won their ninth straight game. In related news, Hell has frozen over, pigs are flying, gas is now 75 cents a gallon, and Andy Dick just had sex with a girl. This wild chain reaction began when Ward, in the midst of an 0-for-13 slump, hit a three-run homer in the ninth to p...
The Dread Lock Decision: Manny Complies With Haircut Edict; Barely
Manny Ramirez finally got a haircut on Thursday — as you can see he's practically bald — and the results were predictable. Apparently he angered Jobu, going 0-for-3 against the Phillies. But thanks to the mojo of the Joe Beimel bobblehead, the Dodgers still won, 3-1, to sweep the four-game series an...
You Will Never Think Of The Drew Brothers The Same Way Again
I've heard of Star Trek slash fiction, and Starsky & Hutch ... even Harry Potter. But baseball's Drew brothers? Why, Jesus? No, I don't have all the answers. But I would like to point out that the author at Live Journal is not twisted and sick, as one might expect. He's just a misunderstood artist t...
Kelly Clarkson, Drunk At A Red Sox Game Once Again
Here's a backward-hatted Kelly Clarkson and friends doing what true Red Sox fans do best: consuming beer and singing Sweet Caroline at Fenway. (Should it concern us that she's off key?). Hey, just be glad it isn't Ben Affleck and Jimmy Fallon. Red Sox Monster, which seems to be a bit overly fasci...
Behold The Power Of The Joe Beimel Bobblehead
Dodger fans were mocked relentlessly earlier this season when they voted to have a Joe Beimel Bobblehead Night; passing over players such as Matt Kemp, Chad Billingsley, James Loney and even Andruw Jones, who do not yet have a bobble likeness. But clearly they knew what they were doing: the force is...
Epic Squander: Red Sox, Rangers Entertain The Masses
I propose uninstalling this scoreboard now and preserving it in a museum. People of the future are going to want to study it, and it has to be the real thing; no one is going to believe the photos. Future kid: "Dad, how did this one team almost blow a 10-run, first inning lead?" Future Dad: "It's th...
Manny Ramirez Fails To Notice That In The National League, Games Are Nine Innings
First of all, this is not the Manny Meltdown that we've all been expecting. Repeat: Meltdown still pending. But it's comical nonetheless. Manny Ramirez, playing in the outfield for the Dodgers vs. the Phillies on Monday, suddenly disappeared between the eighth and ninth innings. No one noticed until...
Who Killed The Cincinnati Reds?
Despite assurances from CEO Bob Castellini that he is not rebuilding the team from scratch, it can't be denied that the Cincinnati Reds are very, very sick. Almost dead, as Miracle Max would say. It all began, in my opinion, when their jovial mascot, Mr. Redlegs, lost his head in a tragic ballpark A...
Let Leo Pitch! Cubs Tempt Fate By Dissing Their Oldest Fan
Leo Hildebrand wants to throw out the first pitch at a Chicago Cubs game. And since the 104-year-old is one of the few living things old enough to have actually seen the Cubs win a World Series (the bristlecone pine and certain species of desert tortoise are the others), one would think that the tea...
Did The White Sox Just Win The Central?
So the White Sox lost Jose Contreras for the season on Saturday in a loss to Boston, falling out of first in the Central. That made Sunday's contest somewhat more than your run-of-the-mill game. And Chicago's 6-5, come-from-behind win over the Red Sox just may have put them back into first place for...
Contreras Injury a Blow To Chicago
It was the Sox Bowl Part II as the Red ones took on the White ones. And you know what happens when you put Red Sox in the mix with White Sox (besides all your shit turning pink). You get some pretty good baseball. Big Papi busted his slump with a three-rub double off the wall in Boston's 6-2 win ove...
Jim Edmonds Jogs La Russa's Memory
Cubs outfielder Jim Edmonds has gotten past the drama of being traded from the Cardinals in the offseason. Or maybe not. After refusing to discuss his former manager, Tony La Russa, with the media, Edmonds proceeded to go two for four, both hits going yard in a 3-2 win over his ex-team. The game str...
Settle Down Everyone; There's No Manny Probe
The Boston Globe reported today that Bud Selig was ordering an investigation into the Manny Ramirez trade; specifically looking at allegations that agent Scott Boras orchestrated the whole thing. But no, gun-jumpers; no soup for you. Selig said that he just had a couple of follow-up questions, and t...
Reporter Doused By Blue-Painted Cubs Fan Outside Wrigley Field
Molly Dapier was doing freelance reporting for mouthpiece sports outside Wrigley Field. She's a tall, attractive blond reporter who appears to be minding her own business. Unbeknownst to her, however, a Chicago Cubs fan covered entirely in blue paint decided that he needed to dump a cooler full of w...
Manny Mania Grips Los Angeles
New item at the Dodgers Pro Shop beginning next week: Dodger hat with attached dreadlocks. (This is true). So much for Joe Torre's request that Manny Ramirez get a haircut; that's the last thing Frank McCourt wants to see happen now that his team is making scratch off of its big acquisition. Reason ...
The Rays Are Still Leading This Thing In August? What?
Carlos Pena was only halfway through explaining his game-winning, three-run homer during an FSN interview on Wednesday when an unidentified teammate doused him with a bucket of Gatorade. Such is the mood in Tampa Bay, where players are giddy, and people are actually beginning to show up for games. Y...
Joba Chamberlain's Aching Shoulder May Have Officially Killed The Yankees' Post-Season Hopes
The above photo was taken a few weeks ago when Yankees' ace Joba Chamberlain popped into random Dunkin' Donuts in Manhattan to serve cold coffee-like beverages to unsuspecting customers. Maybe that's how he tweaked his shoulder. The 22-year-old ace-in-training is getting it looked at by Birmingham, ...