Daryle Ward Will Eat Your Children In Broad Daylight

The Chicago Cubs have just won their ninth straight game. In related news, Hell has frozen over, pigs are flying, gas is now 75 cents a gallon, and Andy Dick just had sex with a girl. This wild chain reaction began when Ward, in the midst of an 0-for-13 slump, hit a three-run homer in the ninth to power the visiting Cubs past the Marlins, 6-5. Too bad nobody was there to see it. Also, Peter Gammons has been discussing some MVP candidates on his Insider Blog, which is currently free for some reason. One of the more unusual candidates IS rookie catcher Geovany Soto, who has 18 home runs and one mediocre goatee. And my domestic partners at Walkoff Walk pointed out this guy who can't seem to name the Gwinnett Braves new mascot. You can check it out here, but it's basically your stock chipmunk humanoid wearing a baseball cap and glove. Why the fuck are people dressing animals like people? I'd rather name a mascot in his natural habitat; lying dead on the side of the road, for example. Cubs 6, Marlins 5 [Worldwide Leader] Peter Gammons on ESPN Insider [Land Of Sports Whoredom] Geovany Soto player profile [ESPN] Help Uncreative Ad Execs Name This Anthropomorphic Rodent [Walkoff Walk] Daryle Ward