mls Page 25 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Soccer Fans In Portland Behave Curiously Like Soccer Fans In Any City Outside The United States
Look at all these throaty buggers backing MLS's new team — the Portland Timbers. The Timbers made their home debut last night. Portland fans got to sing the national anthem. So what if the Star Spangled Banner is the only song most Americans have at least some handle on that's not Top 40 dreck? (P...

Charlie Davies Attempts To Save His Failed Goal Celebration By Doing "The Bernie"
Since he returned to professional soccer in late March, Charlie Davies appears to be having a great time. The 24-year-old has scored four goals in three games for D.C. United, which has him on loan from the French club FC Sochaux; the latest tally was this late-game penalty kick against the Galaxy...

Even The Top Seed In The Playoffs Isn't Good Enough For This Expressive Bulls Fan
Your morning roundup for April 9, the day it became painfully evident that knowledge gleaned from the Old Testament and YouTube videos do not a professional at-home circumcisionist make....

Weeklong Ochocinco/MLS Publicity Stunt Culminates In Predictable Publicity Stunt
We honestly love Chad Ochocinco without reserve. He's like if a little kid wished to the Big fortune teller machine to be a pro athlete, and got it. His actions seem genuine, so we weren't as turned off as a lot of people by his experiment with Sporting KC, to see if he still had his soccer skills f...

Canadian Hero Steve Nash Pumps Up Fellow Canadians At Canadian MLS Game
Steve Nash attended the Vancouver Whitecaps' first regular season game this weekend and, almost on his own, totally pumped up the crowd. The part-owner stands up in a personalized MLS jersey and waves a scarf back and forth, to the utter delight his countrymen. If inspiring the home crowd was Nash...

Charlie Davies Returns To Soccer With A Two-Goal Game For D.C. United
Seventeen months after getting seriously injured in a car wreck that cost him a shot at a 2010 World Cup roster spot, Charlie Davies returned to the pitch in D.C. United's season opener against Columbus last night. He scored on a penalty kick in the 63rd minute, and added a second goal about 15 mi...

Ochocinco Invited To Try Out For MLS Team In Savvy MLS Publicity Gambit
Sporting Kansas City received more single-day publicity today than it has in possibly eternity by inviting publicity provocateur and soccer hobbyist Chad Ochocinco to audition for the team. Does Ochocinco have a realistic shot at making the team? Psssh. Will he be faster than Omar Bravo, the gifted...

It's Good For MLS When You Boo Landon Donovan
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: American fans are catching up to their European brethren when it comes to vitriol....

MLS Wants To Give The Mets Owners A Team, For Some Unfathomable Reason
Grant Wahl of SI chatted with MLS commissioner Don Garber on Thursday, and New York's most beloved and comically destitute real estate barons came up in conversation....

MLS Playoffs To Admit More Good Teams, Bad Teams, Possibly Your Grandmother
Getting into the MLS playoffs this year will be about as difficult as securing admission to the dogshit community college down the road from you. That's because the wise men who run the MLS have decided to let two more crap teams into a playoff system that not only confuses foreign players accustome...

NBA Player Served With Child Support Papers At Halftime Of A Game
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Wayne Rooney's Brother Drafted By Red Bulls, Seemingly Mocked By Associated Press Photographer
This is a photograph of Wayne Rooney's 20-year-old brother, John. He was drafted by the New York Red Bulls in Round 2 of the MLS SuperDraft. This is the caption for the photograph, taken by J. Pat Carter of the Associated Press:...

Bimbo Sponsorship Has Everyone Making Bad Jokes, Overreacting
First of all, it's Mexican, and it's pronounced "beem-bo." Does that make it any less funny? No? Okay, but an espnW post questioning whether it's sexist is maybe taking things too far....

Is MLS Actually Doing Something Better Than European Soccer?
Arsene Wenger thinks the Premier League offseason should be in the winter rather than the summer. Well, it'd do wonders for Blackpool's tourist-heavy attendance....

This Is How The MLS Champion Colorado Rapids Drunkenly Celebrate Victory
By bar-hopping in costumes. And they let a writer from the Denver MetroMix tag along for the celebration. Well, some of it. Then he was summarily kicked off the party bus. I'm shocked Patrick Kane didn't crash the festivities. [MetroMix]...

MLS Season Ends In Most Fitting Way Possible
The MLS Cup was last night. (Did you notice? Did you know NASCAR also crowned its champ?) It ended with an own goal and the hero injuring himself on his fateful strike. It couldn't have gone down any other way....

Kansas City MLS Team's New Name Is Impossibly Awful
Goodbye, Kansas City Wizards. Hello, Sporting Kansas City. Or as we will refer to them hereafter, The Fightin' Gerunds....

Ryan Howard Finally Not Worth $125 Million To The Philadelphia Phillies?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Here's Video Of A Goalkeeper Scoring A Game-Tying Goal In Stoppage Time
Fundamentally, the goal William Hesmer scored in yesterday's Columbus Crew/Toronto FC match wasn't anything special. What was special is that the Crew's keeper registered only the second goalie-goal in MLS history. Also, there were playoff ramifications ......

100-Foot Super Mario Game Plays Out In MLS Stands
Supporters of the Chicago Fire put together this impressive tifo (basically the soccer equivalent of those North Korean card stunts) over the weekend featuring Mario, a Koopa Troopa, and one on-target fireball....