mo Page 323 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Badass Vikings Long Snapper Returns To Play After Losing Tip Of Pinky Finger Mid-Game
It will probably not become part of NFL lore the way Ronnie Lott’s finger amputation did, but it’s certainly very, very gross: Vikings long snapper Kevin McDermott “lost the tip of his pinky” during Minnesota’s loss Thursday night to the all-powerful Rams, but somehow continued playing:...
Tristan Thompson, Apparently Forgetting Everything That Happened This Summer, Talks Shit About East Contenders
LeBron James left the Cleveland Cavaliers this summer. You may have heard. He is now a member of the Los Angeles Lakers. His minutes on the Cavaliers will be used by some combination of Cedi Osman, Rodney Hood, and I guess David Nwaba. Here is video evidence that Tristan Thompson somehow managed to ...
The Baltimore Orioles Have Been Even Worse Than They Look
In 2005, the Baltimore Orioles shocked the world with a 42-28 start, good enough to keep them in first place in the AL East into mid-summer. This was before Rafael Palmeiro, fresh off his 3000th hit, lied to Congress and tested positive for steroids; before ostensible ace Sidney Ponson was arrested ...
Restructured United Soccer League Apes Everything British, Except For What Matters
The levels of the American soccer pyramid are confusing, mostly because they are make-believe. Every level of the world’s real soccer pyramids are clearly numbered, linked with flights of stairs, and constantly shuffle teams up and down depending on the results of a clear and meritocratic process. A...
Paul Pogba And José Mourinho's Relationship Is Rapidly Deteriorating
When last we updated you on the fraught situation between Manchester United manager José Mourinho and his star player Paul Pogba, the two parties were slamming their team’s performance this weekend and low-key (or in Pogba’s case, explicitly) blaming one another for the loss. In just a few short day...
Brie Bella Kicked Liv Morgan In The Face And Knocked Her Out
The Bella Twins’ return to wrestling has not been going very well....
Ryan Fitzpatrick Is Finally Ryan Fitzpatricking
Oh boy. Last weekend Ryan Fitzpatrick was strutting around like a Times Square Conor McGregor impersonator, looking very secure as Tampa Bay’s starting quarterback after consecutive 400-yard performances. It’s now halftime of his team’s Monday Night Football matchup with the Pittsburgh Steelers, and...
Vance McDonald Buries Chris Conte With Devastating Stiff-Arm
The longest walk back to the sideline of Chris Conte’s life had to come after this 75-yard Vance McDonald touchdown catch-and-run. Bring in the Eternal Sunshine machine to wipe this moment out of Conte’s memory forever:...
Luka Modrić Wins FIFA's Dumb Little "The Best" Award
Individual awards in soccer are inherently silly and effectively meaningless. FIFA’s premier individual award has been rendered even sillier and less meaningful recently after soccer mag France Football regained ownership of the actually prestigious Ballon d’Or, causing FIFA to invent their own “The...
For One Quarter, Old Dominion's Jeremy Cox Was The Most Exciting Back In College Football<em></em>
Old Dominion shocked Virginia Tech on Saturday, taking down the 13th-ranked team in the nation (per AP) with a vicious 28-point fourth quarter that left every Hokies fan stunned. It was beautiful, and the fact that the Monarchs got to pull the rug out from a top-15 team on their home turf only made ...
Mourinho And Pogba Agree That Manchester United Suck, But Disagree On Who Is To Blame
If there’s good news to come from Manchester United’s home draw against newly promoted Wolverhampton on Saturday, it’s that José Mourinho and Paul Pogba agree on what the problem is. If there’s bad news to come from that good news, it’s that Mourinho and Pogba more or less think it’s the other one’s...
Real Subtle, Joe Flacco
Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco sucks real bad, and moreover has been just sort of broadly shitty for several years, just a total glassy-eyed doofus with a giraffe neck and a knack for cartoonishly ill-timed mistakes. He’s also old. Taken together, these are the reasons why the Ravens select...
Cosmo The Cougar's Head Goes Flying
Rough couple weeks for mascots. Last Saturday, Chip the Buffalo destroyed his dick and balls with a T-shirt cannon. This weekend, BYU’s Cosmo the Cougar was brutally beheaded on a tumbling pass. Warning: If you have a child who doesn’t realize there are humans inside mascot suits—you’ve raised a ver...
Rondale Moore’s Touchdown Probably Shouldn’t Have Counted
Purdue is on its way to upsetting No 23 Boston College and a potential 1-3 start to the season. Their offensive firepower throughout the game has been in no small part thanks to the Boilermakers’ freshman receiver Rondale Moore. His highlights so far are enough to let some wonder if he should be in ...
Ryan Fraser Is The Best Little Fella In The Premier League
Bournemouth winger Ryan Fraser is extremely cool. He’s super fast, loves running at defenders, can muscle his way into and around the penalty area almost at will, and when he gets there, he’s pretty good at slipping the ball to a teammate or smashing it at the goal himself. These traits are common a...
Max Domi Sucker-Punched Aaron Ekblad
NHL opening night is less than two weeks away, and it’s safe to assume the Canadiens, mired in mediocrity and dysfunction, feel like they have a lot to prove. They’re also not going to be very good at hockey, which is often a recipe for a team eager to scrap. Yes, even in preseason. ...
Orioles Rookie's First Career Base Hit Turns Into Ridiculous Clown Show<em></em>
The Orioles and Blue Jays are currently playing a series that has no significance whatsoever to the greater baseball universe. The only reason to have these games is so such-and-such youngster can get his first taste of life in the majors. In this case the youngster is Orioles rookie outfielder DJ S...
Michael Bradley Might As Well Retire After Zlatan Ibrahimović Ethered Him
Zlatan Ibrahimović scored what might have been the greatest goal of his life last Saturday in the L.A. Galaxy’s game against Toronto FC. Somehow, that goal—the 500th of his career—might not have been the most ruthless thing he did that day....
Umpire Who Gave Nick Kyrgios Pep Talk Gets Suspended For Two Tournaments Without Pay
During a second-round U.S. Open match on Aug. 30, umpire Mohamed Lahyani descended from his chair to give a mopey Nick Kyrgios a pep talk that included the words “I want to help you,” raising questions as to whether he overstepped boundaries as a neutral party. Lahyani has now been punished for his...
Orioles Catcher Caleb Joseph Wants All His Teammates To Think About How Badly They Suck
The Orioles have won 43 games this season. They’ve lost 107. They are tied with the 1988 team for most losses in franchise history. Given all this, it’d be bigger news if players weren’t talking about how much the team sucks, but catcher Caleb Joseph, who’s been with the organization since he was ...