mo Page 780 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Is It Too Late To Cast Tom Cruise?
We missed our copy of ESPN: The Magazine this week, so we didn't catch this terrifying, surreal tidbit, but the fine folks at Dirty Laundry did:...
Not Even "Hard Harry" Can Save This Game
Ordinarily, we've tended to make fun of "Monday Night Football"'s tendency to bring "celebrities" into their booth to banter with Bald 1, Bald 2 and Mouthy; it's always a distraction from the game and excruciating to listen to. ("So, uh, guy from 'Desperate Housewives" ... er ... so you're in a coma...
Not Exactly Your Marquee MNF Matchup
We love the idea of these late-night open game threads, which started with the World Series — who won that, anyway? — and have morphed into a fun Monday night activity for the bored, drunk and/or curious. But it's pretty tough to dress up tonight's game in anything that resembles anything pretty: ...
Suddenly, Louisville Football Is Important
It's rare in something as storied as college football that you have a moment that is obviously the most important moment in a school's football history, but that's what happened in Louisville last night, with the Cardinals beating West Virginia 44-34 and putting them on a track to play in the Fies...
Look, An Important Weekday College Football Game!
We don't often get to write about important college football games here — that's usually MJD's job on the weekends — but we have a rare one tonight: A Thursday game between two undefeated teams that could very well decide who plays in the Fiesta Bowl for the BCS "Championship" on January 8. (January...
Please, Sir, Keep The Gutteral Utterances To Yourself
This is Al Argibay, and he has a goatee and, we presume, walks around making this arm motion all day. And he's pissed, because he was just thrown out of his gym for grunting too loud....
Mota Somehow Finds Way To Fail Drug Test
Yesterday, relief pitcher Guillermo Mota was suspended 50 games for testing positive for steroids, and, as Baseball Musings points out, he at least didn't do the "might have accidentally put the wrong thing in my body" excuse; he manned up and apologized for his mistake. The suspension proves what w...
Adventures in Obscure Sports: Rootball
Earlier this month, the East Coast Championships of Rootball were held in Asheville, NC. An area correspondent reports:...
Bigfoot Exposed?
We have no idea whether or not Bigfoot is real; heck, half the time we doubt the existence of our paperboy. But there is one brave group who is keeping the faith, and now they claim to have proof. BIRO (the Bigfoot Investigators and Researchers Organization) is blowing the lid off of this whole co...
Great Moments in Sports Journalism: Hell, We'll Give it a Shot
Over at Gawker we run a regular feature called Great Moments in Journalism where readers send in particularly egregious examples of overwriting, poor writing, excessive use of clich , or any other example of journalism gone wrong. We very rarely nominate sports pieces, since most of our readers don'...
It's An Intriguing Night In Prince Country
Kind of a quietly fascinating game tonight on "Monday Night Football:" The Patriots, who keep winning even though no one's particularly impressed by them, travel to face the Vikings, who have attempted to fix their sex boat-related woes by hiring a bald mustached man who appears to have never had se...
Please Heed These Tips For A Safe And Fun Halloween
This is for all of you Halloween revelers who are planning on being clever tomorrow night and dress up like Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter. And you know who you are. We see you with the Paul Hogan hat and the toy sting ray and the too-tight khaki shorts, and we're begging you to stop. My God, man...
Somebody Get That Deer A Spot In Congress!
Kevin Cox is a middle-school cross country runner in Oregon, which makes sense; they all run in Oregon....
ESPN Rewards Its Employees With A Small Beverage
Monday's "Monday Night Football" game between the Dallas Cowboys and the New York Giants, perhaps because of the possible midfield suicide of Terrell Owens, scored a 12.8 Neilsen rating, the highest cable television rating in history. This is a cause for celebration in Bristol, obviously, but we had...
Tommy Morrison's Confusing Confusion
Far be it from us to deny a guy the opportunity to make a living, and we consider ourselves open-minded ... but we had to say, when there's open debate as to whether or not are HIV-positive, we kind of think maybe you shouldn't be boxing....
It's The Vikings' Bye Week!
Not sure if you noticed or not, but the Minnesota Vikings have a bye this week. And we all know what that means!...
Parents Sentence Son To Lifetime Of Ass-Kickings
As The Mighty MJD mentioned on Sunday, Leann and Rusty Real of D'Iberville, Miss., have named their kid ESPN Montana Real. That's pronounced "Espen," as in, "Mrs. Johnson! The other boys have run Espen's pants up the flagpole again!"...
The Brave Soldiers Of The Smoking Gun
This here is Joe Morgan. No, obviously, not that Joe Morgan; this is Joe Morgan, an 18-year-old kid who was arrested with aggravated sexual abuse in Peoria, Illinois. He's part of The Smoking Gun's all-star lineup of mugshots of people with famous baseball players' names. Our favorite is Bobby Bon...
Your Thursday Morning NFL Roundup
"So, like, I text messaged Terrell to wish him well and everything after his overdose thingy, and he never texts me back. No biggie, right? But now he says he never got it! Like, I'm so sure! It's incredible th ... oh wait, that's Ashley on the other line. Be back in a sec."...
Someone Should Probably Do A Report About This
We don't want to make too big of a deal out of this; we are talking about a guy's family here. But it appears clear that that our favorite investigative reporter, who makes a side living busting repeated drunk drivers, should probably keep an eye closer to home....