mo Page 383 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We're Simulating Texans-Broncos In <i>Tecmo Super Bowl III</i>
TEXANS. BRONCOS. TECMO SUPER BOWL III ON SUPER NINTENDO. We’re taking our simulation to the next level, LIVE: ...
Draymond Green's Taekwondo Skills Are Already In Midseason Form
Draymond “The Human Vasectomy” Green, whose reputation is rooted in his kicking ability as much as it is his actual basketball skills, is back at the martial arts-ing, even in preseason. Here he is last night against the Blazers, leveling his big foot toward Allen Crabbe:...
Barcelona Are Reportedly Hot For Christian Pulisic
Look, I’m not going to tell you that this Spanish paper’s report that Barcelona, the (in my humble and in no way biased opinion) best club in world soccer, are “closely following” America’s Wonderteen Christian Pulisic, the (again, humble, unbiased opinion) greatest, can’t-miss soccer prospect in th...
Animal Watch: Have Animals Escaped Our Control?
You can scarcely turn on the news these days without being confronted by the troubling question: What are animals doing now? ...
How To Make Half-Smoke Chili And Take A Decade Off Your Life<em></em><em></em>
This week’s episode of Foodspin takes us to the fabled (and somewhat controversial) Ben’s Chili Bowl, which has been an institution here in Washington, D.C. for nearly 60 years. There, Burneko and I discover the wonders of the Ben’s half-smoke, which is a big fucking sausage smothered in chili and o...
Draymond Green Will Be Tolerated As Long As He Continues Helping The Warriors Win<em></em>
Draymond Green is the straw that stirs the Golden State Warriors’ drink, and that is precisely the problem, posits an ESPN deep dive into Green and the Warriors. All last season, small instances of Green simmering—chasing triple-doubles, yelling at his teammates—were reported, but mostly filed away ...
Organize Or Die
Realistically, there is only one way out of our predicament. ...
<i>New York Times</i> Endorses Monarchy
In a move much anticipated by members of the royal court, the Kingdom of the New York Times has elevated a prince of Family Sulzberger to a position in line for the throne. ...
It Was A Nice Day In New York Today
Earlier today, local news station NY1 stumbled upon a “mysterious” statue of a mostly naked Hillary Clinton “depicted with horse hooves, and standing on what appeared to be printouts of emails. The statue also featured a Wall Street banker pressed against her left breast.” So of course, some shit we...
Everyone Terrified
When people who manage lots of money are feeling confident, they invest that money. When they feel scared, uncertain, and pessimistic, they just hold onto cash, waiting fearfully for disaster to strike. How are they feeling now? ...
We Asked Mo Vaughn About The Indians, Dan Duquette And Dressing As A Big Fella<em></em>
According to the man himself, Mo Vaughn is not much of a slugger any more. On a recent trip to the batting cages with his son, the former AL MVP says, he made contact with just three of 14 pitches—at 50 mph. Luckily, he was prepared for life after baseball when his All-Star career ended in 2003....
Sean McDonough Didn't Want To Watch That Shit, Either
A bad football game happened last night. The Cardinals beat the Jets 28-3 in a game that saw 23 penalty flags thrown onto the field. There were 13 penalties in the first half alone, and by the third quarter play-by-play man Sean McDonough was fed up:...
Movie Stars Who Play Badasses Who Might Actually Be Badasses, Ranked
Lots of actors get paid “big money” to play badasses in Hollywood movies. How many of these actors are actually badasses in real life? ...
Cowboys' Morris Claiborne Concussed By His Own Teammate
Dallas Cowboys cornerback Morris Claiborne left today’s game against the Packers in the second quarter after his own teammate concussed him on the field....
How It Feels To Be Losing To The Dolphins
Lawrence Timmons is doing just great, everybody....
Miguel Montero Is A Hero, Cubs Take Game 1 Of NLCS
The Chicago Cubs took a 3-1 lead into the eighth inning on Saturday, where they found themselves in trouble for the first time all night. Two singles and a walk loaded the bases for the Los Angeles Dodgers with no outs, and so closer Aroldis Chapman got the call to salvage things. ...
Dick Attacker Draymond Green Rips "Stupid" Critics Of Kevin Durant, Compares Him To Apple CEO<em></em>
Here’s Draymond Green going off on Paul Pierce and the other NBA-adjacent critics of Kevin Durant’s choice to join the Warriors. I’m less interested in him saying there are “so many guys in this league that are so stupid” than I am in his extended analogy comparing Durant joining the Warriors with S...
Brent And Miko Grimes Owe The Feds Almost $200,000
Vulgar Florida football power couple Brent and Miko Grimes owe $191,471.70 to the IRS. A lien was filed today on a house the couple own in Miami, and the Miami Herald first reported on the Grimeses’ tax issues. As you can probably guess, Miko is not happy with them....
Two Soccer Guys Take Showboating To Whole New Level By Dabbing In Middle Of Game
The post-goal dab celebration is nearly ubiquitous on soccer pitches the world over. Langelihle Ndlovu and Pule Mmodi, members of the Free State Stars’ reserve team in South Africa, took it up a notch by each deciding to hit the dab during open play, an in-your-face effrontery that even Neymar would...