mo Page 398 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Case Against Pets
Let’s talk about pets. They are made for cuddling. They nuzzle and purr and wiggle. They show their cute little bellies, asking for scratches. When we’re blue, they bring comfort. When they act like silly imbeciles, we make videos of them and share their antics with strangers on the internet. Pets g...
Brandon Laird Won Free Beer For A Year With This Dinger
Brandon Laird is a 28-year-old infielder who scuffled his way to a .197 average in 53 games for three teams in three years of Major League ball. He’s currently plying his craft in Japan for the Hokkaido Nippon-Ham Fighters, who are now my favorite NPB team because that name rules (the nickname is, s...
Raúl Mondesí Suspended 50 Games For PEDs
Top Kansas City Royals prospect Raúl Mondesí was suspended for 50 games Thursday, after testing positive for the performance enhancing drug clenbuterol. According to Mondesí, an over-the-counter flu medication he ingested in the Dominican Republic caused the positive:...
<i>X-Men: Apocalypse</i>'s Biggest Disappointment Is The Villainous Prune
As we’ve noted before, the pleasure of a superhero blockbuster lies in watching familiar, inevitable tropes refashioned in mildly refreshing ways. The people making these films are tasked not with outright originality but with clever recombination. How do we make the good guys defeat the bad guys—be...
Report: ESPN To Hire Randy Moss, Boot Ray Lewis And Cris Carter
Randy Moss will join ESPN, according to The Big Lead. The former NFL wide receiver was a pregame analyst for Fox Sports last season. The Worldwide Leader will reportedly shuffle off bapping analyst Cris Carter and NFL crime expert Ray Lewis....
Getting Angry Makes Almost Everything Worse
Broken news: people these days are angry about lots of stuff. This anger has manifested in varying degrees of badness and goodness, depending on your perspective: the ascent of Donald Trump, Black Lives Matter activism, comments sections anywhere at all....
We Have Found It, The Place All Hot Takes Are Born
Deep in the heart of Take Forest, at the peak of Mt. Take, lies the source of all takes....
Someone Should Have Died In<i> Captain America: Civil War</i>
I loved Captain America: Civil War. It was fun and somehow pulled off the monumental feat of not being a bloated, nonsensical mess despite the presence of like 734 super heroes. Except one thing: no one of importance dies in Captain America: Civil War, and someone should have....
How To Kick Ass During Your Jesus Year
Certain ages have established talking points. At 25, there’s the quarter-life crisis, which is false, but gets you thinking about the banal inexorability of aging. At 27, you talk about rock stars who died before they could get old and embarrassing, because you desperately don’t want to, either. (“G...
PSU Prez Slams "Unsubstantiated" Accusations From Alleged Sandusky Victims
Penn State president Eric Barron responded to revelations that Joe Paterno may have known about Jerry Sandusky’s abuse of children as early as 1971 and that as many as six of Paterno’s assistants personally witnessed Sandusky molesting children with an angry open letter declaring that the stories “s...
Be A Decent Child Today (And Every Day)
Every year’s calendar is predictably laced with holidays, but there is one that has a way of sneaking up on you and then pouncing, like a panther made of guilt: the second Sunday of every May, i.e. Mother’s Day. Despite its repeating pattern, I find myself forgetting it on an annual basis, the way I...
Dinamo Bucharest Player Dies After Collapsing On Pitch [UPDATE]
Patrick Ekeng, a Dinamo Bucharest midfielder who also played for Cameroon’s national team, died Friday after collapsing on the pitch during a league match against Viitorul Constanța. He was 26....
NBC: As Many As Six Penn State Coaches Witnessed Jerry Sandusky Molesting Children
As many as six Joe Paterno assistants personally witnessed Jerry Sandusky abusing children, NBC News revealed today. That report comes on the heels of testimony given in Penn State’s lawsuit against its insurer revealed this week, alleging Paterno knew of Sandusky molesting children as early as 1976...
Happy Anniversary To Kerry Wood's 20-Strikeout Game
There’s never a bad time to relive the day Kerry Wood, then a 21-year-old rookie, struck out 20 goddamn Astros in a single game....
<i>Captain America: Civil War </i>Is Too Much And Just Enough
Yo dawg, Captain America: Civil War heard that you like superhero movies, so it installed several pleasantly extraneous superhero movies in your superhero movie so you could watch more superhero movies during your superhero movie. It is the Pizza Box, the Double Down, the Quesarito of the form. Pre...
Texas A&M Assistant's Twitter Rant About Losing One Recruit Chased Away Another (UPDATED)
One of the grossest things in all of sports is big-time college football recruiting: educational institutions groveling and begging high schoolers to attend, adults directing slush funds towards 17-year-olds, college graduates harassing kids on social media to consider their alma mater. And last nig...
Loafer-Wearing Miami Bro Commemorates Brandon Drury's Wild Catch With Totally Rad Selfie
Everyone knows that these ASU sorority sisters are the highest practitioners of the baseball selfie, but this Miami bro—clearly motivated to show his stuff against their beloved Diamondbacks—made lemonade when Brandon Drury crashed into his zone....
Snapchat Vikings Fan Has One Thing Go Right In His Life
If you use Snapchat—probably not, because you read Deadspin and are statistically most likely to be an irritable dad with a law degree—you were probably captivated by the romance of the week. Two University of Wisconsin students, “Mystery Girl” and “Vikings Fan,” noticed each other on the school’s S...
<i>Space Jam</i> Was Bad, The LeBron Remake Could Be Worse
Love of Space Jam is the perfect case study in false memory—take a childhood novelty, give yourself a decade of distance, layer on some of the currently rampant ’90s nostalgia, and all of a sudden everyone you know swoons over something that was pretty bad. The sum total of praise Space Jam deserves...